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(no subject)

Who: Natasha Romanoff + you?
Broadcast: Fleetwide, text
Action: upon request
When: now

[If Natasha thought she escaped the rumors, she's going to be disabused of the notion. The notes start appearing here and there—short and anonymous. Things like:]

Natasha has a cat named Boris.

Natasha Romanoff once killed a man in Vegas just to watch him die.

Romanoff has been lying about about her age.

[And—]

Nataasha is a lingerie model.

[That last one, it seems, comes with some evidence. Sponsor drop? Either way, a few files seem to have been uploaded to support the case.

file1
file2
file3
file4

She shouldn't be surprised those came back to haunt her, should she? The real question is if anyone will dare to comment on them.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Is Jacqueline a dog name? I've never met a dog named Jacqueline.

Are there really rules about what you name your dog?

Something you don't mine yelling in front of strangers?

Okay, that's a good rule. But it feels like it's the only rule. Otherwise I say free game, even if I feel that Lucky and Spot and Cupcake are completely passé.

Shouldn't those have come around to being popular again by your time?

Some things just go out of style and stay there.

Fewer things than you might think. Though, who knows. I hear humanity's changed in the future...

Maybe we don't name dogs Spot anymore either.

_{[ He laughed. ]}

You're right - all dogs are called Jack, all cats are named Boris, and all lovely, dangerous Russians share drinks with space captains.

_{[ He sipped and leaned in just a little towards her. ]}

Well, the ones that can also knock them off their chairs, anyways.

Oh, now I'm sure you don't do that. [Amusement clear in her voice as she drinks.]

So if you had a cat, what would you call it? Not Jack.

Hmmm, never gave much thought to a cat. I'm a dog person. But I suppose if I had to name a cat... maybe Louis.

_{[ He pronounced it the French way as he looked to Natasha, raising his
brows with a playful, sultry little smile at the corner of his lips. ]}

Your turn. What would you name your cat?

Louis, eh? Very regal. [She's been thinking about it, and she still doesn't have an actual answer. So she makes something up.]

How about Tovarish?

Well, you know what they say about cats - kings of their domains, with just a touch of asshole.

_{[ He made a soft sound, still leaning towards her. ]}

What does that name mean?

Comrade. [She smiles, inclining her head a little. The joke, she figures, is probably lost on him.]

_{[ Not entirely. He does have a Russian for a navigator, and he does
love his history. He chuckled, shaking his head. ]}

Sure you should trust a cat to watch your back? I'm pretty sure they're ideology is cats on the top and everything else on the bottom.

Most of the time, I don't trust anyone to watch my back. A cat's got to be better than nothing, right?

Oh, now I'm hurt. I thought I had a very trusting sort of face.

_{[ He batted his eyes at her. ]}

[Charming. She smiles a little, perhaps encouraging.]

You seem like you'd be a difficult one to keep. But I guess that's not the same as trusting.

Is that your way of saying you want to keep me around, Natasha?

_{[ He ducked his head and chuckled before looking up slightly at her
through his lashes. ]}

I haven't gotten rid of you yet, have I?

So, tell me, what's a man got to do to keep in your good graces?

Oh, if I tell you, wouldn't that be cheating? Takes all of the challenge out.

_{[ He laughed and clicked his tongue. ]}

You have me there. How about a hint then?

A hint, huh?

[She leans in slightly, a little twinkle in her eye—teasing.]

I'd say, don't get boring. Luckily I don't think that'll be a problem for you.

_{[ In any other woman, this would have been the point he leaned in and
kissed her right on the lips, but with Natasha - well, that would see him
with a broken nose at the least. So instead he smiled and leaned over,
kissing her cheek. He could use that, he thought, to gauge any further
interest from her and still protect the current shape of his face. ]}

I have never been accused of being boring, that is quite true.

[It gets a smile out of her, and luckily for him, his face will stay in very much its same shape. But despite her smile, her brows draw together slightly. As though she's hiding surprise. Or confusion.

Natasha was perfectly aware of the flirting. Somehow, she had expected it to stay just that.]

No. You do keep things interesting.