driftfleet | Since he got assigned to a ship already!

Entry tags:

Since he got assigned to a ship already!

Who: Yuri and YOU!
Broadcast:Network-unfiltered
Action: On the Twin Roses
When:After the shuffle

_{[When the video comes on this time, Yuri has a different background behind him and he looks calmer. He's more energetic and his voice sounds more confident as he begins.]}

Hello again, everyone. Thanks to everybody who reached out to me when I first got here. I'm on the Twin Roses now so if you want to find me, here I am! In the meantime, I guess we should all figure out something to do here. This ship is pretty nice and all but I wonder if there's a place someone can skate? Victor didn't mention any place he found yet so maybe someone else knows a place to ice skate. Or dance. That would work too!

What do you do around here, guys? What's the best thing?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, good. You've got a good place too. You can stay here if you want to... _{[Yuri won't beg him to stay over but... okay maybe he ought to. He was so freaked out about this whole thing and he knew better than to ask about it now. There were no answers to be had so asking was just a waste of time. He was trying his best to remain calm but Victor was better at holding a facade than he was. He didn't show fear or fatigue or stress.]}

You'd know better than me. I have only seen it here and Marsiva. Maybe the rest of my crew won't mind if I decorate the hall a little bit. Speaking of... how does that work? How does money work? Do we make it by being on the show? Food is given to us and the ships too... I just wonder what the catch is...

_{[He sits on the bed with Victor. Just hearing his voice was helping. He didn't even have to provide real answers. Yuri laid his head on Victor's shoulder.]}

I guess we should get comfy here. The only thing I have is my gym bag and my skates... I don't know where to begin furnishing this place.

[Slowly, Victor moved his arm around Yuri, encouraging him to rest a little closer. He didn't have all of the answers about how this place worked or how they got money. He had been lucky to find his allowance was just enough to let him get a suit for the party. He wasn't sure what happened after that just yet.]

We don't have to have all of the answers just yet, Yuri. I'm sure the people here will answer all of those questions.

For now, why don't we focus on calming you do. You sound really anxious.

Yeah... yeah that sounds good.

_{[He reached around to hug Victor around the middle. He breathed in Victor's scent and that helped too. This place was normal. It had Victor. This place was safe... it had Victor. Victor wasn't upset. He had to be stronger. Victor couldn't be his crutch. He had to stand tall.

He breathed in slowly and held this breath. 1...2...3...4...5...6... he exhaled. 1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8. He inhaled. 1.2.3.4. He held it in. He exhaled. He inhaled. He held it in. He repeated that until he wasn't thinking about the space ship or the reality show. He has his eyes closed. He had Victor, he could smell Victor, he could feel his arm and his body heat. They were just sitting in their hotel room getting ready for a match. Everything was fine... just go to a happy place...]}

[For a long while, Victor sat there and let Yuri calm himself. He kept his arm around Yuri to stroke his back but otherwise he let Yuri do whatever he needed to do.

Once Yuri seemed a bit calmer, Victor pulled at him slightly to encourage him to lie down, and then, if Yuri complied, planed to settle next to him.]

_{[The breathing worked and Yuri would easily follow along. Just laying down with his eyes shut would help. Victor laying with him helped add to the illusion that they were home. The uncomfortable mattress didn't, however.

But he tried to ignore it. He curled into Victor's chest.]}

[Victor is careful to hold him gently. Eventually, he moves his arms so that the hand that he wears the ring on is holding Yuri's hand.]

Did you need anything else?

_{[He smiled when Victor took his hand. That hand. Another small comfort Victor reminded him of.]}

Are you going to leave if I say no?

Where would I go? No place else will be as nice as this.

Your room is the same... but I want you to stay here. At least for tonight, okay? I don't want to be alone.

My room doesn't have you.

I'll stay as long as you need me to.

Do you have to go back to your ship? Can you just stay here?

You mean, forever?

I'm not sure. I do have an assignment with the Heron, but they might let me stay here as long as I get work done, and we'd have to make sure the leadership of the Twin Roses didn't mind me staying around.

Otherwise, I'll visit every day at least. Or you could come to the Heron. We'll figure it out.

Well, for a while at least... I'm sorry, Victor. I'm not strong right now. It must have been hard for you too when you came here. You were alone weren't you? Yurio was with us but he's not here.

_{[He drew random squiggles on Victor's chest with his free hand.]}

I'll talk with the crew. What's your assignment?

I'm in communications. [He completely ignores that part where Yuri was trying to get him to talk about himself and instead smiles a bit at the way it feels to have Yuri touch him.]

What did you get?

_{[He notices that... maybe Victor can't talk about it. Bringing it up won't make it better, they were having a soothing time now. Maybe what Victor needs is the same as what he needs himself. They can just have this down time and he'll see how Victor is faring later.]}

Oh, I'm civilian. I think I'm a counselor. I'm not the best for that but I've had enough anxiety in my life that I overcame that I guess I could do it. You'd be better at helping people overcome their problems but I'll try to emulate you.

We both know that I handle it pretty terribly sometimes.

[Like in that parking garage when he made Yuri cry.]

Honestly, the only thing I do is ask you what you need and then do that. I wouldn't be as successful at it if you weren't willing to talk to me.

_{[He was just trying to use new tactics. It wasn't his fault, Yuri never blamed him. He was just a wall of anxiety and in the end, tough love was what worked so Victor was right!]}

You do great at it, you handle yourself better than I do. You can just be cool no matter what... look at me now, I'm a mess and you've been here almost a month.

You still do an important job, you do what people need. I don't know how I can be a counselor if I can't get myself together here... this is just so disturbing. We're here in this... void and I can't even be excited about space or an adventure. I'm too busy freaking out about who brought me here and why. _{[Don't think about it, don't think about it. Breathe.... easy thoughts... happy place... Victor. The kiss and cry. Kissing on the ice. Makkachin.]}

I think I know how to get better, though.

[When Yuuri is describing his fears, Victor frowns and already is trying to think of something to say that will with soothe him when he adds at the last that he already might have a way for things to be better.]

How?

_{[He had to get over it, he couldn't use Victor as a crutch. It was the same as when he wanted to quit skating and he gained weight and got depressed. He had to just get over that and move forward, no wallowing. It got old quick, anyway.]}

I think about my happy places. You and me at the hot springs, Ice Castle, Makkachin... I remember you kissing me on the ice, I remember you refusing to kiss my medal and your face when I said I was still going to skate... and everything seems okay. I just remember you.

[Victor's eyes widen a bit, because he hadn't been expecting to hear all of that, and then he settles into another small smile.]

I remember you too.

_{[Well, embarrassing as it may be, and it didn't feel embarrassing in front of Victor... it was still the truth. He thought it had been his memories of skating until he was explaining it to Victor just now and all the memories that worked were about him. He felt calm when Victor was around. Hell, he'd used Victor like that when he was alone in the hotel before.]}

Do you? I... That's so... Victor..._{[He doesn't know what to say, somehow the reverse being true is so big. It makes him consider his interactions with Victor. They have great memories together though.]}

Going to the ninja castle... pair skating with you... Sagrada Familia... _{[That was perhaps his most treasured memory, that or pair skating with Victor. But that moment. With him in the snow, their rings, and the music... it still brought a blush to his cheeks. His eyes twinkled, he felt so bubbly and warm thinking about it. He squeezed Victor's hand. That was the hand he wore his ring on. Yuri leaned in a nuzzled Victor gently. Victor looked so pure like this, so earnest... like he was seeing into his soul. It was so easy to shut his eyes and just close the gap and kiss him on the mouth. Gently, slowly, and he felt so much better after doing it.]}

Edited 2017-05-22 04:16 (UTC)

[The kiss was another thing he hadn't been expecting, but thinking back he'll realize he probably should have. He and Yuri did have so many good things to remember and look back on. Those memories helped him through his time in the Fleet alone and even more than that during the time between him moving back to Russia and Yuri joining him.

Any time, now, when he didn't have Yuri nearby he had the ring and their memories.

He turned a bit into the kiss. He didn't push Yuri to deepen the kiss but he shifted to make it easier if Yuri wanted to.]

_{[Those memories got him through their times apart, and through his finale at Barcelona. He needed Victor, he was willing to part with him to save him as a skater but he needed him dammit. That was no more clear than right now when Victor was literally the only thing that soothed him.

This was hardly their first kiss and it wasn't like he was unaware of his feelings for Victor. Love had changed him, Victor's love had transformed him and he felt very much the ugly duckling. He'd become a swan now and Victor was to blame.

So it was easy to lean into that kiss more, to tilt his head so they had a better angle, he even... opened his lips slowly. If he was going to do this it would only be with Victor and he always wondered what this kind of kissing was like. He'd never gotten this... invested in other people.]}

[When Yuri opened his lips, Victor took that as an invitation and pushed into the kiss gently. He moved slowly, giving Yuri time to protest and push him away if he wanted, but eventually he was exploring Yuri's mouth.

He had kissed other men before, but nothing had ever made him feel the way that Yuri made him feel. He felt like his heart was experiencing something impossible.

Eventually, he had to pull back from the kisses to breathe, but he took his time getting there. For a while, he just let them both taste each other and express some of the love they had for each other.]

_{[He had no protests. He felt safe with Victor, and he felt loved, so very loved. He knew he was lucky. Victor was something else. A lot of people would give anything to be with him. Yet here he was in his arms sharing a kiss. He didn't feel as exhilarated by that as he should. He was more... unsure of himself.

He had kissed people before but he never got this far. He never kissed anyone this deeply and Victor probably had. He hoped his lack of experience didn't leave him wanting.

But he liked this. When they had to breathe he smiled at the other man and nuzzled him. He placed kisses on his nose, his cheek, his eyelids. He held Victor's head in his hands and kissed his forehead gently.]}

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject