Open: July Starstruck mingle log

[wingedman]

Who: Crew of the Starstruck and visitors
Broadcast: n/a
Action: Starstruck
When: July, post-calibrations

[July on the Starstruck is so bright, you gotta wear shades. Good thing everyone has a pair now! In other news, the first mate is in a coma, the captain is hella cranky, and the tunes now feature Lady Gaga and Queen.]

Comments

[mucked]

-- Generosity might be where the resemblance ends. I promise, she is otherwise quite different. No less wonderful, of course, but quite, quite different.

[ peggy drains her mug of tea. ]

But I suppose there's no accounting for love.

[outstandingbalance]

[Natasha believes it; she saw Jarvis in jail for his wife, making himself a traitor to save the woman he loved. But that information can stay between her and Jarvis. Instead, Natasha answers noncommittally.]

I'll have to take your word on that one.

[mucked]

[ just as well, really. although it's a story peggy already knows -- one she'd wheedled out of jarvis long ago, dissatisfied with the secret staying unsaid between them. ]

My word? Certainly. [ unfairly played once again, natasha. they're discussing jarvis and ana; not herself and steve. ] Although you'll find him waxing far more poetically on the topic than I ever will.

[ it'd taken her long enough to seven say the word 'love,' frankly. ]

[outstandingbalance]

[Peggy could have chosen to take it as being about Jarvis and Ana, if she wanted. Natasha hasn't met Jarvis's wife, and hasn't seen them together certainly. Peggy would have more insight than Natasha.

Of course, Peggy takes it precisely how Natasha means it. But she'd wondered if the other woman would take the out.]

I don't doubt it; it's why I don't ask.

[mucked]

One hardly needs to. [ ask, that is. certainly, the man offers it freely. ] But it's nice enough -- heaven knows, some of us ought to find and enjoy love.

[outstandingbalance]

You say that like you haven't. Seems like more than a few of us are enjoying it. [Natasha gives Peggy a pointed look; is she going to deny that she and Steve are disgustingly in love?]

[mucked]

[ -- now, there's a snag. peggy clears her throat. ]

For the time being? Yes, alright, I'll confess to feeling a few -- feelings.

[ but moments like this really hit home how changeable the fleet can be. ]

[outstandingbalance]

[Everywhere is changeable, really. They get to enjoy what they have while it lasts. Or maybe Natasha is just very Russian that way.]

A few feelings. I'll consider it a victory you cop to that.

[mucked]

[ a victory! peggy laughs, at least. however mirthless a laugh it might be. ]

It's only that I don't see the need to get sentimental about it. If he had his way -- [ steve. but she trails off, mouth going dry. ]

Well. He'd have taken out a bloody full-page ad, I fear. Newspaper or none.

[outstandingbalance]

You know, he's not about that about everything. With Steve, he can be pretty private about things. Honest... but private.

[Natasha smiles a little as she points it out. He might not be as intensely protective of his feelings as Peggy is, and there's reason for that, but he can be awful shy.]

Something about you makes him want to celebrate.

-- oh my god i thought i already replied to this.

[mucked]

There are plenty of things worthy of a celebration. [ a curt shake of her head. ] But -- that doesn't mean each and every little one needs bunting or champagne or announcements.

[ what she wants to say -- what she can't say -- is that what they've got is for them alone. no one else need peep in. ]

[outstandingbalance]

Not like I'm a champagne and bunting sort of girl either. [She says it dryly, because she's not unsympathetic. At least to some degree. Natasha's reasons and her execution both differ.] I'm just pointing out... it might not all be sentimentality.

Even if some people are awful soft at heart that way.

[mucked]

-- You're reading too far into it. Probably. [ her eyes narrow. and if she's sharp, now, then it's her mood talking. ] It's not been a point of contention. Not really.

[ not between her and steve. but perhaps between her and everyone else. ]

[outstandingbalance]

Could be. You're in a better position to know than I am.

[Natasha isn't about to turn it into an argument.]

[mucked]

If he wasn't content with the current arrangement, [ peggy adds, ] he would let me know.

[ she expects he would. steve is a lot of things, but he's no pushover. ]

[outstandingbalance]

You're the one who brought it up, not me. [And not Steve.] I just pointed out that it was a little strange hearing you say that some of us should enjoy love like that.

[mucked]

[ it all comes back to the fatalist quality of this place, and this situation. peggy hems and haws for a moment. ]

Arguably, what the Jarvises have is remarkably different to what -- well, to what most people have. Love or none.

[ she could love steve to her dying breath (and likely did) and she doubts it will ever come close to the kind of solid, dependable affection shared by those two. ]

[outstandingbalance]

Now, that might be true, but why compare? [Natasha is acutely aware that she might not be the person to talk to in this case, to give this type of advise. Life has taught her to keep her expectations low in a way that most people wouldn't (and shouldn't) have learned, especially when it comes to personal happiness. So she smiles and deflects by adding:] In this case, that seems a little bit like worrying you don't get off like those girls in porn. Just a little beyond what most of us are ever going to get.

[With the distinction that in the Jarvises' case, it's real.]

Doesn't mean we're not enjoying what we have just because it doesn't look the same.

[mucked]

[ a short, sharp laugh. unhappy, maybe, but laughter all the same. peggy shakes her head at the very notion of advice given. in the end, even now, no one else's opinion matters. not even those of close colleagues and friends. ]

Don't fret, Natasha. I'm not comparing. [ and then, deciding that perhaps throwing the other spy a bone might solve the matter: ] Believe you me, I've got no complaints.

[ in either department nat's broached. ]

[outstandingbalance]

Fret might be a strong word. Just trying to be a good wingwoman.

[Especially while Steve is still out cold.]

[mucked]

[ wingwoman. good lord, between her and sam -- well, peggy could know without all this winging about. her lip curls. ]

Slumber aside, he's doing just fine these days without a wing-anyone.

[ well. fine in relation to them, what they've got, and what they share between each other. the pair of them might be screwed up in a great many other ways. mostly, she has a habit of resenting what she interprets as meddling from the pair. ]

[outstandingbalance]

Well. Somehow I can't feel like I can be blamed for being concerned.

[There is a history there.]

I don't have all that many friends. Neither does Steve, really. Maybe when that happens, you end up looking out extra hard for the few you have.

[mucked]

A lesser person might be offended.

[ -- at least wherein natasha treads close to implying that steve's love life still requires any measure of being 'looked out' for. ]

[outstandingbalance]

Then I'll be grateful that I'm not dealing with a lesser person.

[mucked]

[ she throws a bone: ]

Should you feel the urge to step in and 'look after' things, then please don't. [ a beat. ] By all accounts, things between Steve and myself might be the only connection I've got that wasn't mucked up by some degree or another when we were all aboard the Marsiva. He's asleep, so he can't tell you himself, but he and I are just fine.

[ and that's true enough. ]