driftfleet | action/video ♪ tfw no bianca

Who: Varric and open
Broadcast: Video, and open!
Action: The Huntress crew & visitors.
When: The end of March (after dragon stuff I guess?)

[action;]

[After taking a nice hot shower to wash off a month's worth of dust, Varric is back in business being his nosy self. You bet he's checking the food stores to see how much of the crap he imported is still there, as well as the cargo bay because 1. that's where his desk is and 2. he had a buttload of alcohol there last time he checked.

But really, he's just wandering around so that he can check on his crewmates. He's worried by some of the things he's reading, and he hasn't even set foot on the planet yet.]

[video;]

[Varric eventually settles at his desk and turns on the nearest comm console. Honestly, he looks like nothing's changed. At all. But there is a nervous energy in how his fingers dance along the edge of his makeshift desk, rustling some papers.]

Good evening. Did you all miss me? Don't be shy, we have all night. [Is his chest hair visible? Yes it is.]

I think I'm mostly caught up on what I missed during my exceptionally long beauty nap. [His brown eyes glimmer dangerously in the low light.] Something about peasant uprisings and dragons? Sounds like home.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

And I told Dorian to go by and give you a thorough dusting once a week, too. [She tsks as she shakes her head, like this is the biggest travesty of all time.] He really is slacking.

Is there going to be a spanking? I didn't really peg you as the type, but...

I would think you of all people would know better than to judge a book by its cover, Varric.

And I am a terribly, dreadfully, awful, awful boy, Jove. Really, I'm surprised you've been letting it slide for so long. Back in Skyhold, you wrangled me into your chambers at least weekly for some form of titillating punishment or the other.

[Hi, Varric, hi, Jove.]

[Varric is taking notes.]

[Varric he is from the future, you can trust him.]

And what are you scribbling there, exactly?

[Not with plot ideas.]

Eh, nothing. Ideas for my next book.

Oh? Will there be an dubiously evil, but dashingly handsome, Magister in it?

Dubiously evil and with an impeccable mustache. What kind of storyteller do you take me for?

(no subject)

serpentis - 2015-03-31 02:00 (UTC) - Expand

merchantprince - 2015-03-31 02:06 (UTC) - Expand

dawnwillcome - 2015-03-31 02:07 (UTC) - Expand

merchantprince - 2015-03-31 02:12 (UTC) - Expand

serpentis - 2015-03-31 02:07 (UTC) - Expand

merchantprince - 2015-03-31 02:14 (UTC) - Expand

serpentis - 2015-03-31 02:15 (UTC) - Expand

merchantprince - 2015-03-31 02:47 (UTC) - Expand

[She sighs heavily, like she's just been reminded of his greatest offenses.]

Shall I give you some money to go buy some whips and chains, then? I haven't got any here.

And here, I thought you were always prepared, tut-tut. A shame.

[And now Jove tsks at him.]

We'll have to invest in a nice muzzle if you insist on talking back, won't we?

My dear, I'm surprised you don't have one in mind for me already.

So that's whips and chains, a muzzle... all in black leather with gold fittings, do you think?

serpentis - 2015-03-31 02:11 (UTC) - Expand

[Another laugh.]

Oh, but you'd make such a nice cover.

I'm not entirely certain what you're implying, Varric. I fully intend to ride off into the sunset with our lovely lady Inquisitor.

Unless you're offering, that is? I could be swayed.

Oh, no-- by all means, take her! If you're riding off into the sunset it means I don't have to pay you a single sovereign for borrowing your likeness.

Varric, I doubt even your remarkable way with words could truly capture my likeness. Have you taken a good look at me, or were you blinded by my radiance?

There is a certain way your cheekbones glimmer in the light. It's very distracting.

Varric, is that a roundabout way of saying you find me handsome? I am truly touched.

merchantprince - 2015-03-31 02:49 (UTC) - Expand

[There's always something satisfying about making Varric laugh, and now is no different. After the drama surrounding Tek, this is a welcome distraction.]

I make a nice number of things, I'll have you know. But I don't know, it was you who was left all dusty. I think if anyone has the right to do any spanking it would be you.

And your hands are so much larger than mine.

[Varric's always here for a distraction.]

It's true. I do have very large hands, and such a robust velvety voice.

Unfortunately, I think our dear friend Sparkler would cry. Humans are just so ugly when they cry, I can't stand it. Sorry.

Oh he certainly would, and not even being able to nestle in your lovely chest hair would be enough to console him. I suppose we'll just have to put the idea aside indefinitely.

[She's digging the nickname, though.]

Sparkler, hmm? How very fitting.

It's a real shame.

[He scritches his chin.]

I cheated with that one. He told me he hated the nickname I gave him, so of course I decided to use it.

Does it count as cheating when you would have gotten there anyway?

merchantprince - 2015-03-31 02:56 (UTC) - Expand

dawnwillcome - 2015-04-09 20:24 (UTC) - Expand