driftfleet | Tourist October Mingle

[Justice has noticed a shift in their relationship. Anders is more comfortable with him, and less likely to deflect questions or accidentally offend him with vague implications that he could become a demon. It's not an unwelcome change, and Justice assumes it's just because, from Anders' perspective, they have been working together for many years now rather than for just a few months. It's something that Justice has no trouble adapting to because he and Anders had already been drifting closer by his time due to the hostility of some of the Orlesian Wardens, and this older Anders' comfort and affection rubs off on him.

(It doesn't change the fact that something still feels off, and he can't shake his awareness of it no matter how hard he tries.)

Anders' response merits a quizzical furrow of the brow. Justice looks at him like he's wondering if Anders has just had a stroke.] I am asking about humans, Anders. Not about birds or bees.

[He speaks extra slowly because clearly Anders must have misheard him.] Besides, Kristoff was not a healer like you are. Nor was he a... beekeeper? [Seriously, wtf do bees and birds have to do with anything?

Anders. You should know better than to use euphemisms with him.]

[Anders just...rubs a hand down his face with a long-suffering sigh.]

No, that's not what I meant. 'Birds and the bees' is a saying of sorts, it usually means when a parent has to give their child a talk about sex and where babies come from. I just-

[He rested on his elbow on the desk, his cheek laid in his palm as he finally looked over at his friend.]

Please don't tell me you came here to ask about...that.

[Because he's going to need to be significantly more drunk to even attempt to have that conversation with a curious Fade Spirit.]

[That has to be the most ridiculous euphemism for sex Justice has heard yet, and he's slowly growing to realize that humans really like euphemisms for sex. Justice can only shake his head, still looking halfway convinced that Anders has had a stroke.]

Do you know what mortals dream about more than anything else? Sex, and a lot of it. [The things he's seen, Anders.] It is impossible to live in the Fade and not know how it works. And for a people who dream about it so much, you mortals have very strange hang ups about your own means of procreation.

[Justice sees your weird squirreliness about sex, Anders. He sees and he's confused.]

I was not asking about sex. I want to learn about the human body so that I may learn how to apply field medicine. [And why is sex Anders' first thought anyway???]

[Because he is human and his third, fourth and fifth thoughts are sex at any given time, following close behind concerns for his friends and his own self-loathing.]

Ah...well. [He at least has the decency to be embarrassed that he'd jumped to conclusions, but his expression turns a touch more serious.]

In that case, I'd be more than happy to teach you. Did Riona's recent run-in prompt this?

[Justice gives one last shake of his head at Anders--he will never understand mortals, no matter how long he lives with them.

Then his face grows more serious (not that that's a change from his usual expression), the corners of his eyes softening.] Yes, it did. I realized that I did not know the first thing about treating mortal wounds, and I was not able to help her. I do not wish to be in that position again.

[Justice cannot abide feeling helpless. It's like poison to him. It's been gnawing at him since the evacuation, and the only way to deal with it is to know that he won't be helpless next time.]

[Anders' expression softens in understanding. It was the same general thing that had gotten Anders to pursue his Spirit Healing in the first place.]

It's not a bad idea, the more people who can help to stabilize a patient before the healer or doctor can get to them, the more people that could be saved.

Let me finish up this batch and then I'll be more than happy to start those lessons now, if you'd like.

Thank you. I would like that. [Once he knows for sure he won't be helpless in the next situation, he can forget the bite of helplessness before. Besides, new skills are rarely a bad thing.

Justice doesn't smile or lose his perpetual glare, but he does radiate a bit more cheer as he turns back to his work with the potions. He hadn't doubted that Anders would be willing to teach him, but it's nice to be getting started soon.

But now that he's not distracted by Anders wildly misinterpreting what he says, he notices that Anders still hasn't touched the food he's brought. He's watching you, Anders.]

[Anders does actually pick a bite or two off the plate as he works, more absently than any actual focus on the idea of eating the food. But soon enough, the room was filled with a strong smell of something cooking down that seemed to almost be fighting it. The 'mana leaves' as Anders had taken to calling them, preferred to be chewed than turned into a potion, but Maker they were like licking the outside of an orange. At least the potion would restore mana well enough and not taste like tongue-torture at the same time. But now they just needed to simmer and Anders could turn his focus to Justice and teaching the spirit a few things.]

I'd offer you a chair, but I suppose you don't need one. Let's see...yes, basic anatomy first, that way you know how everything is supposed to be and then we can turn to actually fixing problems.

[Justice will accept the absent picking as eating for now. He's not quite at the point where he feels the need to twist Anders' arm about it, but it won't take much for him to creep closer to it. He better see Anders eating more from the plate or he's going to call him out.

He perks, turning his unblinking, glaring gaze to Anders in a way that would probably seem threatening to most people, but in reality, he's just showing very clear and focused interest in what Anders is saying.] I fear I only know the basics that Kristoff knew.

Hmm...well, I think I'll be better suited getting some books from the library for future lessons, but for today will manage with pen and paper.

[He fetched the pad and pen in the desk against one wall and waved Justice over to one of the tables so they could begin.

He covered what he could, bones in the human body and their names, which ones connected where, motioning to his own visible bones for reference, when he could. He went over the layers of skin and how lacerations would play into that (honestly, the most common wounds Justice would likely have to deal with) and explained germs and infections.

A lot of the more scientific information he could now impart he had thanks to his augment, but it barely mattered how he knew it.

What mattered was teaching. Anders had a vibrance and patience when it came to teaching something that he rarely showed with anything else. Kinloch had never given him apprentices despite the need for more healers in the world, he was too radical and too loud about it, Irving had thought it would be better if Wynne continued training anyone who showed potential instead. Anders had resented the old coot for it. He couldn't practice magic or be free with his own life, the least he could have was the chance to teach children not to be scared of their gifts and he couldn't even have that.

Now it wasn't magic, but it was still healing, still something he was endlessly passionate about.]

[Justice, for his part, is a very good student. He listens closely, asking questions here and there if he does not understand what he's told, and he occasionally checks his own body to find particular bones mentioned. Spirits of justice are not naturally inclined towards intellectual curiosity like spirits of wisdom and knowledge are, but Justice himself has discovered an endless curiosity about mortals.

The practical benefits aside, this is nice. He's learning new things about mortals and Anders is lighting up as he teaches. That's good. Justice has been concerned about how subdued Anders has been in comparison to what he's used to, but perhaps he really has just found different ways to display happiness. (Justice isn't sure, but he pushes those doubts away for now.)

Justice commits it all to memory--bone structure, skin, blood, infection. He has seen all of these things piecemeal, of course. It's hard to go through too many battles without seeing the insides if one's enemy, but he's never taken the time to break it down in this way, and he only recently began fighting real mortals and not shades and shadows.

The lesson has to pause when a potion Justice was heating rises to a boil. Justice has to pull the potion from the heat and rest it on the counter top to cool and thicken.] You are a good instructor.

[He would not have pinned Anders as a teacher when they first met, but thinking on it, Justice believes he's seen the hints for a while now. Anders was one of the few who took the time to patiently explain mortal things to him from the beginning, though not without teasing. It had been appreciated then and it's appreciated now.]

[He takes the break in the lesson to dig into a bit more of the food, his appetite rearing up with enough time after having reminded his body the substance existed.

Justice's compliment is met with a very brief look of warmth before Anders moved to make sure the potion he'd worked on early had settled correctly and was ready to be stored.]

Thank you. Hawke has said the same thing before, but I have very little reason to ever teach anyone anything.

I think that, perhaps, that should be enough for today. The next time you want to have a lesson, I'll have better supplies for the subject. I'm thinking, basics of anatomy and then I'll teach you how to bind wounds and then set bones. What do you think?

[Justice is extra pleased to see Anders eating. Unfortunately for Anders, this is just going to encourage Justice to keep bringing food to the medbay, but at least he'll be spared being force fed for now.

The more Justice can learn, the better. He does not want to be left helpless again.] I think that sounds ideal. Thank you.

[Hawke never actually told Justice his name, and Justice has only ever heard Riona call him Wolfe, so Justice has absolutely no idea who Anders is talking about. Normally he'd just check a mortal's thoughts to figure that out, but Justice's augment has made his ability to see into minds very inconsistent. ~~This is why mortals should be like spirits and have no names.~~] Who is Hawke?

[Whatever food was headed towards Anders' mouth stopped as the mage turned and incredulous look on his friend.]

"Who's Hawke?" Adalwolfe Hawke. Did he not tell you his name?

[So much incredulity. Why hadn't Hawke made a proper introduction? All their heated exchange of words, and the man hadn't even given the subject of their argument a proper greeting.]

[Adalwolfe Hawke? Justice frowns as he thinks, trying to check Anders’ surface thoughts out of habit. Perhaps predictably, Anders’ thoughts are muffled, like Justice has gone selectively dead. For some reason, his augment has been giving him particular trouble with Anders.

Then his frown softens with understanding.] The one the Commander called Wolfe. Your boyfriend. [Why do humans need so many names? Anders has one name he uses and he does fine. It’s so much less confusing that way.]

He did not say his name, but we have met. [Justice doesn’t see this as weird at all. Considering he comes from a place where no one uses names, it doesn’t strike him as strange when people don’t share their name or ask him for his.

No, the weird part about them meeting was when Anders’ boyfriend seemed particularly invested in Justice’s opinion of their relationship, but he doesn’t see the point in bringing that up. It’s probably not significant.]

Well...yes. [For some reason, he'd hardly used the term for Hawke in the past and now their relationship was such that it didn't feel like a strong enough word to categorize. He was just Hawke. Anders' Champion.

The warmth from that thought swirled up but then fell away again with the reminder of why he'd brought it up at all.]

Well, that is his name. He hasn't said anything to you, has he? Anything...[What's the word he's looking for? Hurtful? No, not quite.] harsh or seemingly unwarranted?

He implied that I was a danger to Riona.

[Can you tell that he took offense to that? Because he took offense to that. He continues to take offense to that, in fact.

Justice didn't see any point in bringing it up with Anders on his own, but if Anders is going to ask, then Justice sees no reason why he should avoid telling the truth.]

There were other incidents as well. If you are asking whether he has made his feelings on me clear, he has. I will not force my company on him.

[And it's that simple, right? Anders' boyfriend does not seem to like spirits, so Justice will not force him to interact unnecessarily with a spirit. That's not to say that Justice will allow himself to be booted from his friends' lives, but he won't seek the man out if they are not forced together by their relationships with Anders or Riona. This seems like a reasonable solution to this problem.]

[Anders winced to himself. He...didn't think Wolfe had necessarily meant Justice was a danger to Riona, but he hadn't been there to actually gauge the conversation. What he did know was that Justice would take offense to that sort of insinuation, and rightly so.

But Justice's immediate shut down of the situation is frustrating as well and he sighs.]

If you do that, with anyone, then you've no chance of changing their minds. He just...isn't familiar with you, he's really only heard of you. You need time to get to know one another, no different than when you got to know the rest of us.

I did speak with him a bit on this.

He almost punched me while you were unconscious. I believe he is as familiar with me as he cares to be.

[Yeah, did he mention that? Another thing that he hadn't really thought to bring up until now (mainly because it doesn't bother him, especially in comparison to the insinuation that he'd hurt Riona). Anders' boyfriend hadn't actually punched Justice, but he had obviously wanted to very much.

Of course, Justice doesn't mention that that was after he'd tried deliberately peeking into the man's head, but that's because Justice genuinely does not understand how that might be provocative.]

If a person clearly dislikes me, is it not the kind thing to avoid them? Unnecessarily forcing my presence on him when I know how he feels seems spiteful.

[In Justice's head, it makes sense. A person does not want to be around him, so therefore, Justice won't be around him. He's still new to having friends--the idea that it might be hard for Anders if his friend and his boyfriend don't speak hasn't crossed his mind.]

If he has said otherwise to you, then tell me.

[Luckily, Wolfe had been more than willing to tell Anders about his and Justice's 'disagreement' that had resulted in Justice attempting to rifle through Wolfe's thoughts. He could imagine his lover truly had been close to outright punching the spirit.]

We did talk about it and I believe you deserve to know, in part, what was said, but I think I should point something else out to you.

The reason he nearly punched you, was it brought about when you attempted to reach into his mind. Without his permission?

[One step at a time. He should explain this one first otherwise Justice might try it again, but with someone who wouldn't be so kind as to merely seem like they were going to punch him. Maker, if Fenris had been the spirit's target...that was not a situation he wanted to allow, if he could help it.]

I did not reach into his mind. [Justice snaps, hackles immediately raising the same way they always do whenever someone implies he might be a demon.

But Anders hasn't done that once since Justice got to the Fleet, and even back home, Anders has taken pains to not hit that particular nerve again. Anders wouldn't offend him on purpose, so Justice forces his hackles down, reining in his instinct to snap some more and softening the edge in his voice.

(It's a testament to how much he's already changed since being thrown from the Fade that he tries to modulate his reaction at all.)] I listened to his mind. There is a difference.

[For Justice, the difference is clear. It's the difference between observing a piece of art and taking a box cutter to it. One is normal, and the other is invading with the intent to manipulate or destroy. If a spirit reaches into a mind without permission, it's because they're a demon looking to tear it apart.] Was that why he was angry? He thought I was tampering with his mind? I would never.

He doesn't know that. [His tone is practically pleading for Justice to understand. He couldn't explain why Wolfe might be even more prone to believing it of the spirit, but this didn't need too much to believe, at least.]

I know you wouldn't, as does Riona, but 'reaching in' is exactly what he thought, not 'listening.' He's a mage, Justice, he's lived his entire life knowing he needed to protect himself from demons in the fade. He's also not a spirit healer; for most mages, spirits aren't often what the meet from the fade, it's always demons.

[He pressed his fingers to his eyes a moment to fend off the mounting ache behind them. Maybe he should get more rest afterall.

His hand dropped and he looked back to his friend.]

Being here is no different than being among the Wardens: you can't simply read them as you would another spirit and expect them to respond favorably, especially those who come from Thedas as well. I know it's hard for you to understand, but people like having their secrets and keeping their thoughts unknown until they share them of their own volition.

Does that make sense?

Edited 2017-10-29 18:19 (UTC)

The Wardens never noticed when I was listening unless I said something. [He knows that's not the point, but this combines all the things he hates--being treated like a demon and completely failing to understand mortal rules.

He can grudgingly sympathize with the fact that Anders' boyfriend has never encountered a spirit before, and he can grudgingly sympathize with the fact that southern mages are taught from infancy to fear anything that comes out of the Fade, and he can even grudgingly sympathize with the fact that the difference between listening and reaching may not be so clear to someone who's never dealt with either, but sympathizing and not feeling indignant about it are two different things. Velanna wasn't a spirit healer, and she warmed up to him well enough (or as much as Velanna warms up to anyone). If she could do that, why can't Anders' boyfriend?

But Justice tries to not dismiss it out of hand. Obviously, this is important to Anders, so Justice will put in the effort to discuss it.]

This secrecy does not make sense to me, and even if it did, there is little I can do about it. I cannot turn off my ability to hear things any more than you can turn off your ears. You mortals tend to think very loudly.

[Justice can avoid paying attention to thoughts like a human can tune out someone else's conversation, but that doesn't mean he can't still hear them. And even then, he doesn't see why he should deliberately ignore all the things he hears when people are loudly thinking about them. Listening in to Anders' boyfriend's thoughts feels no more wrong than deliberately eavesdropping on a loud conversation in the other room.]

If it makes him feel better, I could not hear anything specific beyond his feelings at the time. The object they attached to my head interferes with my sensing at random intervals. [Which is... frustrating.] I understand that most mortals find me frightening or disturbing, mages especially. I know they have good reason to fear what lives in the Fade. But I do not enjoy being treated as an unwelcome intrusion at best, nor a demon lying in wait at worst.

[And honestly, that's how he feels around Anders' boyfriend, like even when he isn't doing or saying anything, the man just wants him gone. It's not an active hostility, but Justice would almost prefer that. It's easy for Justice to defend himself against yelling or fists, but that quiet and persistent sense that someone wants him to just disappear is uncomfortable and he doesn't want to be around it.]

I know. I'm sorry, I know it's not fair. You deserve to be given a chance to meet people and let them get to know you without all of that extra prejudice in the background. For the most part, I think you'll find that here, while there are a lot of Thedosians in the fleet, there's even more who know nothing about spirits or Thedas or any of it, I don't think you'll have nearly as hard a time with them.

[He sighed and put his hands up in surrender. With the gaping hole in Justice's context, there was just no good way to explain any of this in a way that was easy. And Anders trying to insist either party work with each other any more than necessary wasn't fair to them. That selfish desire to have everyone he cared about be at ease with each other was a childish wish. It stood to reason that Justice and Hawke might never see eye-to-eye simply because they didn't mix well.]

He said he would try, but I can't ask either of you to work at something neither of you wants, if it's easier to simply not talk to each other, then I'd rather the two of you do that instead of rub each other the wrong way simply because I ask it.

[And, frankly, he was tired of this dispute, this game of tug-of-war on both sides.

[Justice crosses his arms, frowning at Anders. He's tempted to just take this concession and leave it at that. Anders' boyfriend clearly doesn't like him, and Justice can't say he's developed many fond feelings for the man either, so it only makes logical sense that they just not talk. Justice has already long since accepted that he won't make many friends among mortals, and he's happy with the few he does have.

But this is clearly important to Anders, and Anders is important to Justice. He doesn't understand it, but he doesn't understand many things about mortals. Anders makes the effort to accommodate Justice, even if he doesn't always understand spirits--isn't it only fair that Justice put in the same effort?

Justice sighs through his nose, an entirely superfluous gesture that he must have picked up in Vigil's Keep. Probably from Nathaniel.]

If he tries, then I will as well. I will forgive past slights and attempt to not unsettle him so going forward. [Justice knows that he'll put Anders' boyfriend on edge anyway, since that seems to just be mortals' natural reactions to him, but Justice will try to not do things he knows mortals don't like. Maybe it will be enough to salvage a working relationship.

There, look, he's going to try. Can Anders not look so unhappy now?]

Tourist October Mingle

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

End?