driftfleet | Tourist October Mingle

It seems you're doing enough of that for yourself and your own 'suffering.' Isn't that why you're still here? You just love wallowing in the things that trouble you.

[Maker he couldn't even bother to try right now, every word was a hissed barb with annoyance and frustration coating them. It was taking an incredible amount of willpower not to just blast the elf out of the medbay.]

Do you ever try to do anything that isn't for yourself? Or does it take all of your time to simply sit selfishly and feel persecuted by existing?

I am here because I live here. These aren't your private quarters, it is a public area of the ship.

[Unsurprisingly, Fenris is a lot less prone to keep a hold on his willpower- at least when Anders is concerned. Anger flashes in his eyes as the lyrium flickers to life in response. ]

You haven't even the faintest concept of what I would do for this crew.

[The lyrium flickers to life, the glow familiar and eerie and the only warning sign Anders needs to have mana pooling into his hands. A bright glow of spirit energy burst into his palms, ready to be shot as bolts in defense, but the cracks that would have split his skin in jagged light were absent and he felt the lack of extra power like armor missing from his chest.

The air crackled with the energy from both and that Fade-smell that lyrium and magic both held rushed Anders' senses, but he still wouldn't hold his tongue.]

No, I don't, because I have no concept of you doing anything for anyone, crew or otherwise!

[The feeling of lyrium breaks Adalwolfe out of the sort of trance he'd entered running through the forms his father had taught him to use with his staff. The staff itself is missing, but he'd found a broom handle easily enough and had been using that the twirl around his arms and back and slash at imaginary foes. No magic, but that flash of lyrium is a wake-up and every alarm starts ringing in the back of his head.

Fenris.

He bolts from the hold and feels the upsurge of mana as he clatters at a full run through the narrow metal corridors, past all the doors to quarters and kitchen. Not his own mana but Anders' familiar buzz of electric energy, no longer tainted with a heavy layer of Fade energy, just the normal amount one would expect but even that is enough to make his hair stand on end.

Either there's a threat and they need him, or...

Or this. The two men facing off like wolves around a kill. Or like idiots in the middle of a space ship where a stray spell could kill everyone.]

Woah woah woah, hold it, calm down!

[He doesn't hesitate at all in skidding to a halt smack between the two spitting wildcats, arms wide with each hand facing one of his friends, his right with the broom handle towards Anders and a flat palm level with Fenris' face.]

Let's turn off the light show and work whatever this is out without damage to ships systems or each other, alright? We're all reasonable adults here.

[Which isn't always true, but he looks between them with such expectation of civility that hopefully it'll be enough to diffuse the situation. And if not? Well. He's ready to take whatever attack either of them throw if it means keeping the harm off of everyone else. Not that he thinks they would attack him.

(If he had a moment to think about it, he'd be surprised that it doesn't cross his mind Fenris wouldn't hesitate to attack him. The one from his world had done just that, but this Fenris? He doesn't think of him like that anymore; he's not a regrettable potential foe, but instead a friend. Unfortunately, he doesn't have the spare attention for that sort of introspection right now.)]

Take a deep breath, both of you.

_{[ It doesn't take much intuition to figure out that a crew member running wildly through the halls is a bad sign. It might as well be waving a giant red flag. And giant red flags on floating tin cans is never a good thing.

Whatever Kirk had been planning on doing he utterly forgot as he took off after Wolfe, soon enough beginning to hear the sounds of raised voices. One voice he recognized instantly, and it was not one he enjoyed hearing raised in anger. It usually meant difficult things, at the least.

Rounding the corner he pulled up when he caught the sight in front of him - Wolfe between Anders and Fenris, a hand in one's face and a broom thrusted at the other. It looked like some weird scene out of an old vaudeville act. Except both men were glowing, which just never seemed to be a good sign for anything. Hawke's concern over the matter didn't ease the prickle of his skin, the raising of the hairs on his neck as he glanced between all of them.

Straightening his shoulders, he came forward, dropping his voice into the steady rhythm of a commanding office who expected answers. ]}

What is going on here?

[It's likely a well timed intervention on their part- Fenris reactions to the magic about as well as he always does, tensing up, reading to attack. It's only Wolfe putting himself (stupidly) in front of him that stops him from springing forward.

The lyrium does flicker out, but the elf remains tense, even when Kirk arrives. He very much wants to rant and rail. What he'd want MORE is to tell Anders to pack his damn bags and leave. He doesn't do either of these things- he knows, ultimately, they need to keep Anders on the Tourist. He hates it, and the idea of living in such close quarters with the man seems ever the more impossible. Still, they need a healer.

With a snarl, he turns and starts for the door. To remove himself from the situation before he allows it to get explosive again. He's not convinced he'll have much of a hold on himself if he remains. ]

Fine.

[It's growled out- sharp and venomous. It's hard to tell who it's directed at, could be all of them. ]

I'm done here.

Edited (ok I'm done now I swear) 2017-10-17 17:15 (UTC)

[As soon as Wolfe is in front of him and in his way, Anders falters and his hands clench closed over the bolts, smothering them as Kirk's authoritative question is posed.

He turns away, a hand resting on the surface of the desk he'd been trying to maneuver around only moments ago and his expression still twisted with anger.]

Nothing.

[His snapped response comes nearly as an echo to Fenris' and it only serves to irritate the healer more for a reason he couldn't even pinpoint at the moment.

Right now, he just wanted everyone out of the room. At least his first choice to go was already walking himself out.]

You're both in your thirties! [Probably.] Suddenly being within ten feet of each other regresses the both of you into squalling babes?

[He makes himself loud enough for Fenris to hear too, half trying to prevent him from leaving short of actually touching him. He's not going to do that, not when he knows first hand how the feeling of magic made those tattoos prickle.

He exhales with a shake of his head, irritated but ever the peacemaker.]

Come on, both of you. Is there some way we can make this a civil living arrangement? I'm sure Jim and I don't want to be putting out fires all times of the day. What was this about, anyway?

[Because something always triggers these arguments, even if the root cause is always each simply taking offense that the other exists.]

_{[ Kirk shifted to move in Fenris' route of escape, crossing his arms and giving his lover a firm glare. If Fenris truly pushed, he would let him by, but until then he wasn't going to let him properly leave. He turned the same gaze on Anders, clearly irritated with both men and their behavior. If he could help it, neither was escaping without a proper explanation and perhaps some sort of resolution. Had this been his ship, his Enterprise, both men would be facing disciplinary action for the ruckus. ]}

Yes, please do enlighten us as to what made two grown men start squabbling like two kids on a playground and nearly begin tossing about what I can only assume was a blast of magic.

_{[ Your captain is not happy, either of you, and the hard set of his jaw says as much. A determined and pissed off James Kirk is a very dangerous James Kirk. ]}

[Trapping Fenris is never really considered a good move. Real, sharp anger crosses his features and stays there- glaring at Kirk like an animal caught in a trap, liable to snap at any given moment. That glare holds for a moment, and during that moment he almost decides to just shove past- his muscles tense, ready for a fight.

Then he seems to think better of it and turns hate glare on Adalwolfe. ]

I doubt it really matters, in the long run. And no, probably not. [He's not about to start whining about Anders (in his experience that gets nowhere anyway), but he's not going to sugar coat it, either. This is...not exactly workable. Then Kirk says that, and he visibly bristles. If trapping him isn't a good move, using the M word to describe what he does is an absolutely awful one. He knows that Kirk probably meant Anders, but his back is already up, and he's not in the best frame of mind to deal with it - when he replies, his tone is dripping in venom. ]

I don't use magic. [He starts for the door again. He can feel the tension building, and he wants to remove himself from the situation before he lashes out at someone.] I'm leaving.

[A part of Anders is earnestly surprised Fenris doesn't just blow past Jim, even he knew cornering Fenris was not a good life choice, but it all crossed through his mind silently, his expression still a stony mask. His arms draw tighter across himself as he refuses to look at his Captain or his lover and thoroughly ignores Fenris' retreating form. He wasn't going to be able to run away from this, but just as the elf wasn't giving an inch into their own personal...issues, neither was Anders.]

It doesn't matter, no one on this ship was in real danger, nor was the ship itself. [Not even Fenris, but he wasn't going to correct them if they tried to say otherwise, he knew what his threat had looked like, even if it hadn't been any more than that. He would defend, but actual harm...didn't interest him as it once might have.]

I apologize for the disruption.

[But he certainly couldn't promise it wouldn't happen again.]

Andraste's tits, you're both bloody impossible.

[Adalwolfe mutters under his breath, though Anders with how close he and ear turned towards his boyfriend in lieu of making eye contact can probably hear him.]

No, you're both responsible enough for that, I'd wager.

[He would, though he's still nervous about magic flaring in the middle of a ship floating in the Void with only a bit of metal to keep them from suffocating and--- no stop don't think about it. They're not idiots, they wouldn't do that.

Best to let them separate, then. Cool off. They're both much cooler heads apart than together and perhaps when things have calmed down they can speak with more civility.

And maybe nugs will grow wings. One can hope.]

Fenris, we'll talk about this later.

[It's all but a dismissal, Hawke glancing at Kirk. The Captain can go after his first mate if he sees fit, but Wolfe tries to communicate nonverbally that talking maybe should wait just a bit, at least for Fenris.

Adalwolfe drops his arms and turns fully towards Anders, serious but not unsympathetic. He has no doubt that someone started something and it really could have been either of them, but it's more likely than not just an ill-placed word or one of them not liking how the other looked at them or something else similarly banal and unnecessary on both ends.

Still, he uses a soft voice, gentle and somewhat coaxing, like one would use when trying to calm a pet with raised hackles.]

What happened, Love?

It certainly didn't look that way. I really shouldn't have to say it, but I will - no destructive magic on this ship. Ever. Unless it is absolutely necessary in an emergency. One hole and we're all in a lot of trouble.

_{[ He wasn't glaring how, but his look was hard. He wasn't about to let
this go with Anders, whom he had always taken to be a reasonable man. As
for Wolfe, Kirk flicks him a look with his eyes that says he knows. He's
learned a thing or two about his lover. He's let Fenris by, so now his
focus is Anders. ]}

I would like to hear that as well.

_{[ It's phrased nicely, but it's not a request in Kirk's mind. What
happened here could have had much worse consequences and as a captain he
can't let that easily slide. ]}

[Anders' jaw clenches tight. Nothing he could say would avoid sounding like a petulant child, either in the defense of his own actions, or in his desire to keep this whole thing quite. He supposed that ship had already sailed. Fenris hadn't said anything, Anders didn't want to say anything, but 'it's none of your business' was hardly true when it was Jim's ship and Wolfe was, once again, stuck in the middle of his companion's infighting.]

We don't get along, it's as simple as that.

[It was nothing simple and it wasn't even wholly true anymore. They'd...managed in small bursts and only in private, thrown together like this, their sharp edges caught and ground against each other in a way they'd been able to avoid while on different ships.]

I...he insinuated I didn't care for my patients. He took my offense to mean I thought he didn't care about the people on this ship, which he took offense to.

[It was too simplified, there was plenty more that had been traded in only seconds, stoking the inferno that had suddenly sprouted between them, but it was what he had to offer.

He finally looked up and over to meet Kirk's eyes.]

This goes farther back and more complicated than can be explained simply, Captain. It is not something that can just be 'put right' with a few words. Just know that I will do my job with as much dedication as I would anywhere else, it is not my intention for it to be any more complicated than that.

[It just...would be, so long as they would have to share a living space. They'd barely managed to abide by each other's existence in the space of a whole city, a ship was bound to be worse.]

[Kirk does his job as captain well. Adalwolfe can see in him what made Aveline a good leader too. He treats everyone with similar respect but knows what flies with whom and where it counts his puts his foot down. Phrasing goes a long way. If Kirk had simply demanded to know what happened, Wolfe knows that Anders would have clammed up, and if he'd gone after Fenris then he'd get absolutely nowhere. For all of Adalwolfe's knowledge and practice with diplomatically diffusing situations, Kirk has him beat by leagues.

There's one thing he doesn't know better though, and that's this particular feud. Adalwolfe puts his hands on his hips and breathes out for a long beat.]

Alright, so you were both making sure you each care enough for the other's liking about your positions and the crew. Even if it ended rather... bombastically, I'd still say that's good in essence. You've proved to each other that you both care if you're willing to fight about it.

[Silver lining.]

Just... try not to have to prove anything to each other again the same way, alright?

_{[ Kirk listened, letting Anders get his piece out without
interrupting. He crossed his arms as he listened, keeping his face schooled
into a firm, but dispassionate mask. Kirk glanced at Wolfe when he began
speaking, thinking the other was making a bit of a stretch of it. The two
of them had not looked like they'd proved anything to each other except how
much each hated the other. There were silver linings, and then there was
reaching for fool's gold.}

_{Kirk's attention went back to Anders, deciding he had better not let
this situation remain open-ended, so to speak. ]}

I don't doubt your dedication to your calling, Anders. I didn't hear the majority of your fight, so I am not going to make judgements on either side as to what happened except that both of you have seemed to cross serious lines with each other. I am not in the habit of mediating disputes between crew members - I believe we are all adults and should be able to handle such things ourselves.

However, I am going to make this clear: Fenris is my first mate. He is second in rank on this ship only to me. In a state of emergency, if he gives an order, you will need to obey it. Within reason, granted, but he is the ranking officer below me. I trust him with the safety of this crew and this ship, and if nothing else I would hope you trust my judgement on that. I am not going to ask you get along with him, or even like him. But I am going to ask that your dispute not put the crew or the ship in danger.

If it begins to become a problem, we will have to revisit other solutions. Am I clear?

_{[ All of it delivered in the even tone of a captain. The last part
isn't really a question so much as a badly disguised order. He would be
having a similar talk with Fenris later, when the elf had cooled down.
]}

Did I not just say as much? I told him that very thing and it meant nothing, do not-!

[He visibly bit back the anger and frustration that welled up at hearing the very promise he'd made moments ago issued to him as some order as though he couldn't possibly understand. He wanted to lash out and bite back like an animal cornered. And he was cornered. 'Not take sides' his ass, he knew which side Kirk was on and he knew Wolfe never took them where he could avoid it.

That emptiness that had torn at him since Justice had been separated from him ached now more than ever. He was the only person Anders could trust to try and understand and be on Anders' side no matter what. True, this 'incident' would likely have been ten times worse if Justice had still been with him, Justice and Fenris were more at odds than even Anders personally was with the elf; the threat likely would have ended in actual action.

Still, he could spare the selfish second of wishing for that backing now when it was impossible and he was busy staring down the man who was supposed to be leading him and have his best interest in mind as well as that of his First mate as all part of the crew. Perhaps he couldn't trust him as much as he'd thought.]

Yes, Captain. It's clear. Thank you for stepping in.

[His tone was cold, but even and lacking the venom he felt in his veins. This wouldn't be fixed now or ever, but Maker give him strength to not fight back against those that might try.]

If you don't mind, I was in the middle of something, as I'm sure you were as well.

[Throughout the entire exchange, he never once looked to Hawke.]

[Kirk and Anders talk and Wolfe frowns. He hears what they're saying, knows a little of what he could say to try and calm Anders but it might undermine Kirk's authority and maybe having that authority is a good thing here. Maker knows Fenris and Anders don't listen to him, but they knew him before he had any title. Kirk though, Kirk is Captain Kirk and insofar as that means anything it means he commands respect that Adalwolfe does not.

But Anders won't look at him now, which makes this all the harder.]

Here, I'll give you a hand.

[Carefully, Wolfe channels some of his mana, lifting the mattress and maneuvering it to where he imagines Anders would want it as another medical cot. What he wants to do is speak up and ask that Kirk be just as hard on Fenris, find out that Kirk understands it take two to start any argument and Fenris is just as culpable as Anders is. Hell, Adalwolfe would love if they could actually come up with some sort of method to stop them butting heads altogether, but asking any of that would also undermine Kirk in this situation, so he stays quiet and helps where he can, hoping that his earlier conversation with the captain will suffice. He has to trust that Kirk knows what he's doing, even if Wolfe would rather be the one in the middle in this case.]

_{[ He can see the frustration. He doesn't mean to stoke it, he doesn't, but he has to verbalize. He has to say it aloud and know that Anders understands it. He will address the same thing with Fenris later, but Fenris is not here in this moment is he? Anders is, and of the two, he believes Anders to be the more reasonable. Or perhaps not, since he had let Fenris goad him, and threatened the use of magic from what Kirk understood.

He let out a sigh, not backing down from that attitude or that particular dismissive tone. If this had been a Federation ship, he would have had Anders on cabin arrest. ]}

Anders, I'm not blaming you for the argument and I know there is more than one side in this. But I have to say what I said aloud because I need to hear it, from you, that you understand. If you said the same to Fenris, I didn't hear it.

_{[ He crossed his arms again. ]}

I will speak with Fenris later about this, and I think we should speak again too. But you should know I don't share Fenris' views. I believe you are a good doctor, Anders, and I am glad you are here.

_{[ He looked to Hawke and gave a slight nod. You take care of your boyfriend, Wolfe, because it seems they are both involved with ridiculous people.

And with that he turned and walked away, leaving the two of them to work things out and contemplate how and when he was going to bring this all up with Fenris. ]}

[Anders remained stubbornly silent. What Kirk said made sense logically, Anders couldn't begrudge the man for covering his bases and just trying to do his job, but there was a part of him that still wanted to anyway. He set his jaw and simply waited instead, his only other response being to give Kirk a nod to at least acknowledge that last part.

But then Kirk left and the silence remaining in the room was bordering on suffocating.

He busied his hands with whatever he could to put things away or straighten things out and avoid looking at Adalwolfe for as long as possible.]

Thank you for moving that. [His tone was clinically even and held an edge of dismissal as though he expected Hawke to just leave now that the proverbial ire had been put out. But Hawke was still there and Anders was painfully aware the distance between them was of his making and that he wasn't being fair at all with Hawke. And yet he was too stubborn to do anything else but take another 'step' back even as his inane movements stilled.]

If you aren't going to go, then why don't you tell me why you don't seem to ever pick a side.

That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?

[He levels an even gaze at Anders, letting that sink in on its own. He'd sided with Fereldens against prejudiced Kirkwallers, he'd sided with Kirkwall against the Qunari, and most infamously he'd sided with the mages against what felt like the entire rest of Thedas, so it is a miracle he doesn't just roll his eyes and leave too.

But he doesn't, because for all he finds this ridiculous, he makes the effort to understand, too. He knows how Fenris just crawls under Anders' skin and that the healer isn't actually angry with Adalwolfe.]

Love, we have to live here. I'm trying to be civil.

[It was and it wasn't true, but Anders had never been good about apologizing when he was angry, only after, once the guilt set in.

His jaw clenched and his eyes bore holes into the lab's countertop where they'd settled. He bit his tongue to keep from saying the next thing to spring to mind. 'How well will that go this time?' was a blow too low and too deep to make to someone he loved so much. He couldn't even as the question still rang in his head.]

Wolfe, you're great at keeping the peace, you always have been, but some things just can't be helped.

This isn't one of those things.

[He regards Anders for a moment, trying to judge whether he can close the physical gap between them without getting an elbow in his ribs. A second later has him stepping forward and putting a hand gingerly against Anders' arm.]

You just have to learn how to talk to each other. It's a feat, but not an insurmountable one. I have faith that you can do it.

[Faith. Something Wolfe doesn't have about much of anything save for Anders, and he choose the word carefully.]

[The touch was something Anders expected. They were both more on the tactile side and it brought both of them comfort to be near each other, even when one of them wasn't in the greatest of moods.

What he doesn't expect is that exact phrasing. Wolfe rarely used words lightly and when he was specifically trying to get a particular point across, he could use them as expertly as an artist used brushes.

Hawke had faith in him. Hawke held very little faith in general, it was a difference between them that they'd rarely touch on much. So to know he held what little he had in Anders, who so rarely held any for himself, it meant something.

Anders still didn't have faith in himself nor Fenris nor the idea that they could somehow make this living arrangement work, but Wolfe did and maybe that would be enough for now. It would have to be.

His posture lost some of the tension that had been there before and Anders sighed warily, but his hand came up to cover Hawke's.]

I hear you, love.

[It's a heavy relief when Anders relents. The tension between them has been heavy not just now but about other things as well and it's getting to be more than Wolfe thinks he can take. But with this some of it breaks and he feels much better for it. Anders' hand covers his and he covers it with his other hand in turn, leaning in to press his forehead against his boyfriend's.]

I love you, Anders. Don't think I wouldn't defend you with everything I had, if it came to that again.

[Ashes falling around them, everyone looking at Anders in horror as the Chantry burns. Even him, at first. But the condemnation thrown at Anders just made Wolfe want to fight harder, to stand between them and the healer as a wall. What Anders had done was indeed horrific, but that didn't mean that Wolfe was going to leave his side.

Never.

Not for that, and not for this either, not if it came down to the worst.

He's going to try his damnedest to make sure it doesn't come to that, but he does think that Anders needs to hear once more where his loyalties lie. As if it were ever in doubt.]

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