driftfleet | it's gonna rain - and it never ends

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it's gonna rain - and it never ends

[ It's midday, or close enough to it that the sun is blazing red hot above the planet. Everything seems ordinary - for disturbing, red-tinted values of ordinary, anyway. But the normalcy doesn't last for long.

Without warning, an explosive sound shocks through the jungle. It doesn't come from any one central point, but rather several points, scattered throughout, strategically placed to the advantage of someone. And from those massive shocks rises a wave of missiles - large, fast, and apparently, freely flying. They're guided, and they've locked onto their target: any foreign ship that is currently within Lato'li's atmosphere.

There's no way to mistake it. They're headed right for the Fleet.

The first wave feels a bit sporadic - timings might be off, but the missiles are still deadly, and if they hit, they hit hard. Shields might withstand this wave, but ships without shields will take direct hits. The ability to stay airborn is very, very quickly lost.

The second wave is much more precise, expertly timed and executed by whomever is firing from below. Even smaller shuttles get caught in the crosshairs, and those ships that lasted through the first volley will take a few more shots. If shields saved you before, they will fail here, giving out under the strain.

And the third wave comes, a little bit longer after, to finish the job. There are more of them, and they are far more advanced - they make the previous two volleys look like warning shots. This time, it's all missiles launched, all targets acquired.

Seven Fleet ships - and many, many shuttles - fall out of the sky, headed straight for the surface at alarming speed. Only four ships manage to escape the assault and exit the planet's atmosphere, retreating to orbit as fast as possible. Those lucky enough to have been in orbit can only watch as all of this happens.

But the missiles aren't the only thing up their sleeve. Just when the dust settles, while the network is surely lighting up with activity, attempts to contact one another and check on the status of fellow ships and crew, A loud, quick, terrible screeching noise shocks the network. It drowns out all communications on any connected devices - ship or personal. Ships in orbit will see all on-board systems flicker, then fizzle out, all non-emergency systems have gone completely down.

And with that.. there's silence. Perhaps too much silence. No matter what you do, no matter which buttons you press, which channels you try, there is no connection. Those who have dropped to the surface are entirely radio silent, and those in orbit have been reduced to the barest of abilities and life-support, with the bare minimum of contact.

So... What can you do now? ]

(( ooc: Feel free to use this post as a mingle for all your crashy or missile-dodgy needs!

• The following ships have been shot down: Bishop, Bloodsport, Blue Fish, Goldstone, Heron, Tourist, Twin Roses.
• The following ships are now in orbit: Blameless, Caprine, First Breath, Huntress, Iskaulit, Red Fish, Starstruck, Vanquish, Wonderduck

Good luck, Dear Fleet...~ ♪ ))

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[Hawke's arms around him will always be a source of comfort and safety. Wrapped up in his love, everything from the outside world could fade away for a little while. But this wasn't a matter of the outside trying to do them harm, this was internal and no amount of willing would make it fade. Wolfe needed him.

His hand came up to stroke at Hawke's hair, gently prying through any tangles his fingers came across and smoothing the strands back out in an attempt to soothe.]

You're scared, I know. I wish there was some sort of magic to make that go away, but there isn't. [He spoke gently, quiet but knowing his words would reach Hawke with how close he was to the other mage's ear.] The truth is, it's good you're scared; when it comes to spirit healing, if you're scared, you're still you. [His heart ached to simply take all of Hawke's pain and doubt away, he wished he could fix it with a simple wish, but things were never that simple.

Quietly, he initiated his Panacea, allowing it to consume what mana reserves he'd accumulated in the last few hours. It was worth it to offer something to calm and ease Wolfe.]

Tell me what you're thinking, love.

Edited 2017-11-08 20:40 (UTC)

[He barely notices the aura at first but his body does and Wolfe relaxes just a little against Anders, sighing against the healer's neck.]

Anders, you should conserve your mana.

[He doesn't know what to say or how to say it if he did. He doesn't want to be a spirit healer but he feels he has to try for the sake of the people he loves. He doesn't know if that's a strong enough reason to prevent him from being possessed, or if spirit healing can really even lead to possession. And Justice... he doesn't know if he should tell Anders just what he felt. So much love, knowing it will be corrupted... it's all too much.

So he changes the subject. It's easier.]

[Anders' hold just tightens, more than willing to hold his love together for as long as he needed.

He pulled back to press his lips firmly to Hawke's, his fingers still playing with white hair that had already grown longer since they'd come back to the fleet. When he broke the kiss, he rested their foreheads together and rubbed a bit at Wolfe's shoulder.]

No. I'm taking care of my patient.

If you won't tell me what's on your mind, then tell me what else I can do to help.

[Wolfe returns the kiss and there's a tremble in it, one that subsides when Anders pulls back and Wolfe's able to exhale gently and close his eyes, feeling the solid weight of Anders beside him.]

It's not that I won't tell you, I'm just not sure how.

[His mouth goes dry just trying to think of phrasing, of exactly what he would need to explain. Thoughts start to flick through his mind again at dizzying speeds, avoiding capture and preventing Adalwolfe from wrangling them into a coherent sentence.]

He cares about you. Justice does.

[That's all that he's finally able to get out and he winces preemptively in worry at what Anders will think of that statement with no explicit context.]

[He continues to pet at Wolfe's shoulder and then at the other mage's hand as his fingers curl around Wolfe's. He can understand that, not know how to say something but knowing it needs to be said. He was terribly familiar.]

Then when you can,when you know how, I'll be here to listen and help.

[Whatever reaction Wolfe might have been expecting from Anders likely isn't the one he receives. Anders barely reacts at all, his expression changing only to reflect the deep-seated sadness that always rose up in him when he thought of Justice. Whenever Justice would look at him with what Anders recognized as the spirit's best attempt at affection, that sadness just dug deeper and deeper and tore at everything in him.]

I know he does.

[Perhaps better than Wolfe gave him credit for. Most people would look at Justice and see an unchanging face devoid of any particular emotion, but those that had come to know him, the Warden Commander and her group of lost rabble, knew the tiniest tells the spirit had: a slight turn of a brow, a minuscule twist at the corner of lips, the most subtle of change in the eyes, he could see all of it as plain as day. He knew Justice cared for him just as he knew Justice could feel the depths of Anders' affection in return.]

You felt something from him when you borrowed from his power, didn't you?

Edited 2017-11-22 19:34 (UTC)

[Voice failing again, Adalwolfe just nods his assent. He's glad Anders can apply his own context. In hindsight it's embarrassing that he thought his love wouldn't understand. He's known Justice so much longer, knew him as he is here in the Fleet. Of course he knows how Justice feels.

But there's more to it, too. There's a loss that Adalwolfe feels so acutely it's as if he were the one to have lost a dear friend. Or lost... something. It's on the tip of his tongue but not quite there other than the heavy weight of loss. It makes his heart ache. For Anders, for Justice even, but also for... for the idea of it. For knowing that love that deep brought nothing but pain, made worse by it being pain for someone he cares for so encompassingly. That's why he can't say, that's why he has a hard time even thinking of it, and why he reacts so strongly when Justice comes anywhere near Anders.

He doesn't even know how to begin to explain that to Anders. So he just holds him close.]

[He can't guess what exactly is weighing down on Hawke, but he's sure it's something complicated enough that Anders wouldn't have words to help very much. Anders knew how important the concept of love was to Hawke, and he could imagine that combined with the implication of his statement was making for a bad combination in his mind.

Anders knew that sometimes love was a terrible force. Sometimes it did terrible things like turn a psychotic blood mage into a serial killer or cause a man to give up his child to a life of pain simply for the concept.

And, more often than anyone would like to admit, there were things in the world that were more important than love. Things you had to do because of that love.

But Wolfe...

Anders' heart ached for the man in his arms, the man who Anders could now confidently say was his whole world. He pressed a brief kiss to Wolfe's cheek, but then pulled away enough to shift on the bed and tug Hawke to encourage him to join.]

Lay down with me, my heart, we're to rest, right? I'd like to hold you.

[He relents easily, mostly because Wolfe isn't sure of what else to do. This always feels right, laying here with Anders and feeling the warmth between them, even in a bed as tiny as this. He buries his nose in the crook of Anders' neck again, pressed against him bodily with arms tucked around the blond loosely but in such a way that if Anders shifts or tries to pull away he can easily pull him back against him. It's a habit brought on from years of Anders trying to get up at a godawful hour of the night to work and from the fear that Anders will get up to relieve himself in the middle of their nights on the road and meet some rogue Templar in the dark of the woods. He always stayed awake then, each time Anders rose from their bedroll. Anders always came back and would smile a soft and annoyed little smile to see his eyes open. It's different this time, something more with Anders in charge here but old habits still die hard and Wolfe will forever be ready to hold onto his love for dear life if ever necessary.]

How are your stitches?

[He rumbles softly, gently moving one hand hesitantly towards Anders' stomach. It's an easier topic, though one with just as much weight.]

[Wolfe curls into his hold and Anders' arms are quick to encompass the other mage and keep him close. There's a comfort in the way Hawke holds him, an old familiarity even though he knows why Adalwolfe does it. Right now, though, he has no intention of trying to slip off in the dead of night or any other time. Right now, his focus is to do what he can to wrap around his lover so completely that the universe has to go through him to get to his beloved.]

They're holding. I don't think my body remembers what it's like to heal slowly, it's not taking too kindly to the stitches themselves, but they're still doing their job.

[His fingers curled in the fabric at Hawke's back and shoulder and he pressed his lips to the top of white hair.]

You saved me.

[Again. As always, and always in so many different ways.]

Justice saved you.

[He closes his eyes, just feeling the warmth and encompassing embrace of Anders there, alive, and healing. He feels safe like this, protected, and that's such a rare feeling for him that he can't help but not quite trust it. Someone will burst through the door with some task for him or Anders, or worse enemies will attack or the ship will start to fall apart during repairs or... something. Always something.

But apparently not now. Long minutes pass and there's still just the simple quiet of the downed ship. Adalwolfe relaxes by degrees.]

If he hadn't just appeared, I don't know...

[He does know. He knows they wouldn't be here right now but instead he would have had to bury him there on this alien planet. Or burn him to prevent the cannibals eating him. That's a worse thought and Wolfe's stomach turns as his mind's eye so unhelpfully provides visual aid.

He tightens his arms around Anders, still loosely for the stitches, but tight enough.]

I should learn properly, shouldn't I? In case anything like this ever happens again.

He couldn't have done it without you, either.

Spirits were just the energy, without a conduit, they could only watch. But without the energy, Wolfe would have only had his small amount of creation magic which wouldn't have been able to do enough. Keep Anders alive for another hour, maybe, but that would have been all.

And then he would have died and left Hawke alone. It was a foolish move on his part, he knew it, but he still didn't regret it and he wasn't lying when he told Fenris he'd do it again if the situation ever called for it. But putting another scar like that on Wolfe's heart was something he wanted to put off as long as possible, his love had already lost so much, Anders didn't like the thought of his name being added to that list. Hawke wasn't good alone.

Anders curls as much as he can afford to around his lover with that thought.]

Only if you want to, love. Spirit Healers can't be forced. You have the potential for any school of focus you set your mind to, but I can't simply say "you should." It isn't simple.

[It does take two, Anders' reasoning is sound, but that doesn't stop Wolfe from feeling powerless anyway. He knows his creation magic is weak. He'd never bothered. Healing - proper healing - takes time and it's rarely time an apostate has on the run. The spells his father had him focus on were defense and attack. Barriers and ice walls, crushing force and cutting blizzards. These are the things he knows how to use to great effect both in battle and simply in everyday life. Digging holes for fenceposts is so much easier with force magic; why carry water back and forth when you can just conjure ice in a pot and set it over a fire? Cleaner too, in some cases.

But this? This can quite literally and directly save lives. Anders had been dying, bleeding out, and with Justice's help he'd fixed that. Fixed the unfixable. Yet at what cost? He doesn't know yet, other than the emotional turmoil brought on by what he felt from Justice. But who is he to say that some uncomfortable feelings should get in the way of bringing someone back from the brink of death?]

The ability to spirit heal is rare, isn't it?

[He nods as best he can while lying down.]

Yes. Well...the ability is rare enough to only touch a small pool of mages, but what typically makes Spirit Healers rare in practice is the likelihood for possession. Either they get too scared of the possibility and decide not to pursue it, or they get possessed and the templars have to do what they're actually there to do.

There was another boy training with me under Wynne, he fell for a demon's trap and let it in.

[It had been a horrible day. He'd been fifteen, maybe sixteen, and the boy who'd made it as far as Anders did in the training just suddenly contorted and changed in the middle of practicing his healing.

The patient they'd been working on had shrieked in a way that had cut through Anders then, he hadn't heard such fear before. He hadn't felt such fear before.

Wynne had thrown herself between her remaining student and the abomination, but then the knight-captain had stormed in with a handful of templars and quickly dispatched the demon. It was the only time in memory that Anders had felt grateful for their silent jailers.]

The student has to learn early how to tell the difference between a good spirit that actually wants to help and a demon masquerading as a spirit that simply wants a foothold. It gets easier the more you heal, though, often times the same spirits will come to you over and over again, like you're building a rapport with them. You'll start to know and trust them by feeling just as they'll know when you call for their aide.

[Anders doesn't tell the story, but Wolfe can tell he's reliving it just the same in his mind and his grip on his partner changes, less seeking of comfort and more giving of it. It's a minute change but one that's important for Wolfe. It makes him feel better to give than to be coddled, even if ostensibly what Anders is doing is hardly coddling.]

I'd say I may be too old to learn but with all the demons we dealt with in Kirkwall I dare say I'd have more experience than most.

[He sighs.]

I feel I have an obligation now that I know I can learn this, if there are so few who even can learn it and fewer still who are willing, but... we're cut off from the Fade here.

[He doesn't know how it would work. Would he have to keep pulling from Justice? He's not sure he could do that. He's not sure he even really wants to do this at all and not just for that reason, but it certainly is a major roadblock in his decision making.]

Not completely.

[He considers a moment and shifts lightly in the hold they have on each other, both set on comforting the other and keeping him safe. It was an unspoken thing, but it was a familiar thing.]

Even without Cole or Justice, I can still call to the spirits that help me somehow, my spirit healing hasn't been lessened for being here.

[It had been lessened for removing Justice from himself, but he knew that was a likely side-effect when he'd accepted the offer.]

The connection might not be strong enough for us to go there in our sleep, but it is still there. Typically, a spirit healer finds their own spirit partners to work with when healing, usually a virtue that speaks to you personally, but without a stronger connection, I'm not sure if we can call out to new spirits for you.

[He's silent a moment as he thinks.] I might be able to teach you how to reach out to the ones I call, use my own connection as a bridge to connect you as well, that way you could at least learn how and the rest could come later.

But...[He slips forward to press his lips to Hawke's forehead.]

Don't do this out of a feeling of obligation, my love, I don't wish for you to end up resenting it. So far, it's been fine that I'm the only spirit healer on board, there are other doctors and healers in the fleet who do their part as well. Even Hermione has a bit of healing magic available to her. You wouldn't be letting anyone down for choosing not to pursue the school.

I don't think I'd resent it, not when I know it can keep you here in my arms instead of the arms of the Maker. He's already got one martyr, he can't have mine.

[Wolfe's tone is dour, but the sentiment is earnest.]

I've never seen regular healing pull someone back who was that bad off, Anders. I could feel your life slipping away, I--...

[He goes quiet again, holding onto Anders with a white-knuckled grip.]

I have to learn this.

[The sentiment was one of the sweetest things he'd heard and between that and Hawke's voice breaking under the memory he knew was haunting his love's mind, Anders wormed his arms up to pull his love close. Anders' lips pressed to Hawke's forehead and then crown as the healer did his best to curl protectively around his champion.]

All right, my heart. If you're willing, once we're out of here and recovered, I'll be honored to teach you anything you want to learn.

[It would have to be Justice and he knows it, but he doesn't want to restate that worry, can't explain exactly just how uncomfortable that makes him and not for the reasons Anders may think. Not only for those, anyway, because certainly Justice having possessed Anders does take a role in this decision but also knowing how it was before, knowing how much love is within Justice that was warped and twisted into obsession and malice.

He's quiet for a long time, burrowed with his head under Anders' chin before he breaks the silence in a quiet voice, as if when he speaks quietly enough he can will his words not to wake the thought they touch.]

What if I do that to you, Anders? What if my love twists you into doing something terrible?

[Anders doesn't respond immediately, his mind taking a moment to trace the thoughts from their source to that conclusion. He meant what had happened between himself and Justice. They'd joined together because they'd cared about what happened to the other and what they believed in. In the end, it became only about the end goal and reaching it and then, when ash and fire rained down on them, Vegeance had been beyond placated. He was willing to stay quiet and allow Anders the death a vengeful person demanded. What justice would call for.

He couldn't say there was no love between them even then, but what warmth had been in their relationship couldn't be felt. Maybe because it had been sapped out for all the hate Anders held for himself and they'd become to closely intertwined, believing in the same cause for so long.

His hand came up to Hawke's hair and stroked through it in a way he knew his love would find comforting.]

My heart, you could never do that. Justice, Vengeance, they're hard, sometimes cruel and cutting concepts even though one comes from a desire to do good and the other comes from a place of pained love. You aren't hard, Adalwolfe. You're gentle and loving and I know you. You would never have me do something you thought was terrible.

[And that was the difference. Vengeance didn't see the lives lost as terrible. Punishable? Yes, but not without merit. Wolfe didn't see it that way.]

My heart, look at me.

[Anders pulled away enough to find Hawke's eyes himself.]

I adore you more than life itself. I would choose you over the Maker if it was a decision called upon. You're absolutely everything to me and you always will be. But, at the end of the day, you are you and I am me. You have not -cannot- posses me in the way you're implying. If I ever do anything, terrible or otherwise, it will be because it was my choice to do it and nothing else. You can't force me to do something that goes against my beliefs. [He smiled gently.] I'll give you all the credit in the world, save that much.

[He disagrees. Yes, he tries to be gentle and loving but he can be hard. He can want nothing more than to burn down the world out of ire and spite and spit on the ashes. He never shares those thoughts, preferring to pretend they never occur but that doesn't mean they're not still there...

Anders is right that Wolfe wouldn't push Anders to terrible things intentionally or willingly, but this isn't about willingness. This is about a perversion of ideals, something that Wolfe may not even see happening before its too late. He knows he carries so much weight with Anders, knows he could probably dictate the healer's behavior in a myriad of ways that he would be change never consciously set out to affect. Anders sometimes is so much the kind to be impressionable that Wolfe worries he's already done damage.

But he's stronger than he was in Kirkwall. Or not stronger, but more... even. More himself than Adalwolfe ever saw him. He wonders if this is because Justice is no longer inside him or just because his goals had been reached. There's a peace to be found in wreckage, even if the acts before were heinous. A calm in everything at least being over.

Anders is stronger and Adalwolfe doesn't have the energy to argue. For all he knows, every word of what his love says is truth and he's fooling himself to think he has so much influence. And maybe that's better.]

Alright.

[He relents and eases his head back onto his partner's shoulder, more exhausted than when he'd first laid down. He'd set out to make Anders rest and yet here he is, the one who needs to sleep until Summerday. At least he can achieve Anders resting too in this state.]

Just stay with me for awhile to nap, alright?

[He could probably come up with some reason for him not to stay, just like old times, really...but he didn't want to. He wanted to keep busy and be useful and help, but he selfishly wanted Wolfe in his arms, loved and protected.

The ship wasn't exploding. Even just for himself, he wanted to stay here with the man he loved and pretend they had some measure of peace.]

Of course. I suppose we both need the rest.

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it's gonna rain - and it never ends

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