driftfleet | December Tourist Mingle

Entry tags:

December Tourist Mingle

Who: Touristas + Friends
Broadcast: n/a
Action: The Tourist
When: The month of December

I. General Mingle
Have fun!

II. Let's talk!
[ Kara's been away. Since her stunt running through cannibal-infested forests planetside, she's only been back on the Tourist a handful of times, mostly for clothes and a suncharge. It's not that she's outright avoiding anyone, but her priorities have lied elsewhere. However, through her conversation with Pavel—observing his anxious opinions of the ship—she's decided that some good old fact-finding is in order.

Despite her own guilt over neglecting her crewmates (and not really knowing the most recent additions), she's decided to seek out her crewmates that she doesn't know so well or hasn't talked to about everything. She tries to be super casual about it, but it's clear she wants to Talk. ]

Hey, so, how's it going? It's been a minute, huh?

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Care to elaborate on that? I can't imagine a situation where you would have been okay with that happening.

You're right - I wasn't okay with it. I actually protested.

But I also realized that I could continue protesting that, while we were under constant attack, and anger the three responsible and shatter what actual working harmony we had - or just let it go. At the time, making sure we all made it out alive felt more important than picking fights over the state and placement of a corpse, however much I disliked it.

What were they thinking? It's horrific to even think about!

Pavel's not comfortable being on board anymore and I can't say I blame him.

I'm not saying they're right for doing it, but if you understand the world they come from, it's reasonable to see where the logic of it comes from. Their worlds are quite a bit more ruthless than what either of us is use to, I imagine. I won't deny that it served us well on that planet, though I have made a point of not encouraging it in future battles.

_{[ Because there would be future battles, wouldn't there? ]}

I am also well aware of Chekov's feelings about staying here right now.

_{[ The words on that lest sentence were were curt, more than he meant them to be. ]}

[ she just can't conceptualize a situation where it was a rational decision ]

How did it serve you well? What was the point?

I meant their ruthlessness, not the corpses.

As for the point? According to them, it was meant as a deterrent to keep others from attempting to attack the ship. A warning and scare tactic in one, I think. I can't fully wrap my head around it, myself.

[ she makes a gross-out face involuntarily ]

That's ridiculous. And barbaric.

I agree, but as I said, at the time, it would waste more energy and resources to argue it than just let it go. We had bigger things to worry about.

And, for them, it wasn't barbaric. It was a survival tactic. I can't fault them for that.

It's a good thing I left when I did, then.

_{[ At that, Kirk levels a hard look at her. ]}

And why is that Kara? Why is it good you left your crew in the middle of a crisis?

Because I wouldn't have let it happen, and you would've had a lot more drama to deal with.

Clearly our priorities are different. I would have preferred the drama and with you there.

_{[ In other words, he is still very angry at you for running off. It
hurt on many different levels for him, and as exhausted as he is he can’t
find it yet in himself not to be angry about it still. ]}

[ she's not exactly pleased, either. everything feels so complicated lately, and the worst part is she's completely sympathetic to her anger at her about this. she chews the inside of her cheek trying to measure out her reply ]

I'm sorry that it upset you, but I don't regret doing what I did.

And that’s far more upsetting than those corpses - that you don’t regret abandoning us and leaving us a man down when we needed it. Not to mention put your own life needlessly at risk.

_{[ And that was the heart of it. He liked Kara. He did. She was like a
little sister to him, someone whom he enjoyed spending time with and wanted
to protect and encourage as much as he could. But when she had run of it
broke a little something in him. Looking at her, he just wasn’t sure he
could trust her in a crisis anymore. He couldn’t put the same faith in her
he once had. And that hurt, a quiet ache in the back of his chest every
time he looked at her. ]}

[ let's just ignore the part about putting her life at risk. self-preservation is an acceptable loss when you're normally superpowered ]

Yeah? What role did you have for me? Because I'm pretty sure an inspiring speech wasn't going to stop those things.

You could have helped with repairs. Could have helped tend to injuries. Could have been running systems checks or trying to reach the other ships on the comms. You could have been keeping a watch around our perimeter. You could have helped make sure everyone got food and water and measured our rations. I could have easily taught you how to use one of the guns we have.

Believe me, you would not have just been sitting there.

_{[ He kept his voice pitched even, resisting the urge to raise it.
]}

Clearly, you were fine.

It wasn't just some lark, Jim. I needed to make sure Mon-El was okay. I assessed the situation here and saw that you were more than capable of dealing with it. But if that's too much a betrayal and you don't want me here I can find somewhere else to be. Even if I don't want to.

[ her tone is quiet, short, and chilly. there's some desperation in the way she says "needed". another path was never an option for her given the circumstances ]

_{[ He looked at her for a long moment then, his grip on his coffee cup tight. ]}

I don't want you to go Kara. I would never want that. But right now, Kara, I'm not entirely sure I can trust you like I used to either. I suppose you'll need to decide if you can stay on here knowing that.

_{[ He might as well put all the cards on the table with that, the energy seeming to drain out of him with it. He looked down at his coffee and sighed, pushing away from the wall he had been against. ]}

Oh, like you've ever trusted me, Jim. You aren't my dad, you're my peer, captain or not, and you have never treated me that way. You assume I'm too stupid to recognize what is safe and unsafe on a spacecraft but you're not the only one with experience.

[ So this is not going the way she expected, but might as well get it out now. her voice isn't raised but it is cold ]

This isn’t about your experience Kara. It’s about whether or not I can count on you in a crisis, powers or no powers, and right now I don’t know if I can.

_{[ His voice isn’t chilly. It’s hard and hurt as he says the words
because he hates them. He does. They scrape at his throat but damn if they
weren’t coming out now. ]}

[ her eyebrows raise and her lips purse. she takes his lack of denial as having nothing to deny ]

Well, I'm glad we cleared up your opinion of me.

It’s not really an opinion. It’s a conclusion based on your actions. And until proven otherwise, it’s one I have to operate around should something happen again.

_{[ He drained his coffee and keyed open the door. ]}

I don’t want you to go Kara. I still think you’re needed here and have a place here. Go or stay - that decision is yours to make.

_{[ Not seeing any more value in a discussion that by now he saw as
going in circles, he turned to go. ]}

[ welp. she goes to pack an overnight bag ]

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December Tourist Mingle

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