selvin-9 system mingle

[rebuildyourruins]

Who: everyone
Broadcast: no
Action: Selvin-9
When: throughout December until mid-January

[It's fluff-planet time, fleeters, and there's plenty to do. Snow time like the present!]

* System info

Comments

[expellerhead]

...it's not as if I knew you before, either. [maybe that's not exactly a comfort, but-] So you have no expectations to live up to.

[it's the way she quietly crawled to a place to die, the way she'd watched her memories of her fighting with that flat, empty-eyed expression...aizawa can handle people used to violent work. all of his friends have seen terrible things, he's seen terrible things; people crushed beneath buildings, held hostage, screaming, dying. it's not new; blood, and violence, and even hopelessness, it's not new.

but he's also handed children to their parents, and received their tearful thanks. he's seen the looks on his students' faces when they learn something new, when they believe in themselves, when they succeed. he's had people in his arms that he's carried to safety, people he'd seen later with their families, laughing, living. he's seen the good.

jayden was woken up to fight...and she has companions, yes, she has friends, she has anil, but from what they've talked about, what aizawa's heard, so much of her fighting is just endless repetition; "kill this, kill that." raids, storming strongholds, pictures of slaughter over and over and over again. the life of a hero is hard but heroes are praised, are appreciated; in small ways, some of them in large ways.

not in a single memory did aizawa see anyway thank her. jayden's pain, her deaths...it was treated by all as a matter of course.]

It means a lot to me. [she's trusting him with this, he knows. she's trusting him with that uncertainty, that vulnerability. it would be the height of selfishness not to acknowledge that, because of his desperate thirst to know.] Hearing it from you like this...makes it easier to accept. The lack of plan, I mean. I can handle that, now.

[stormfist]

[ Maybe not a comfort, but yeah - she nods, with an expression that clearly says, "Fair enough." ]

If you're sure, then okay. Just tell me if it ever changes. If I can do anything.

And... this is going well, overall. And she's glad he feels better about it, that they had this talk, but something is still sticking with her. ]

And it means a lot to me that you'd even... notice any of that. Care about it. ... Not that it's something that comes up, but no one's ever...

[ ... She trails off. Back home, her friends would look out for her, of course - but it wasn't like this. They're all in the same situation as her - the same duty, the same expectations. This is someone from the outside looking in, asking her to put words to just how okay or not okay she may be in the grand scheme of it all. It's a hell of a thing, and honestly, the weight of the words, "no one's ever asked if I'm okay like that," is a bit too much to handle right now.

She closes her eyes, tries to swallow around a sudden knot in her throat. She gives up on trying to sit up straight and focus, leaning in to rest her head against his shoulder - even if only for a brief moment. ]

... I don't expect you to cater to my idiosyncrasies, either.

[ Her voice is quiet, a little bit shaky, but at least she hasn't completely shut down and thrown up her walls all over again. The thought hasn't even crossed her mind. ]

[expellerhead]

[she always sounds so firm, like she's constantly steeling herself against an expected blow. the waver in her voice, however faint, speaks the volumes that she has trouble saying in her own words.

aizawa can't help but reach up with his free hand to cradle her head there against his shoulder, briefly, stroking her hair once before turning to press his mouth to the crown of her head. i want to protect you.

he certainly does.]

...tough shit, Price. I'm already out to do just that.

[stormfist]

[ Just the simple motion, keeping her close and letting her stay there, is enough to keep that particularly unhelpful set of spiraling thoughts away. For now. She hates that dredging up anything about herself is like opening an entire Pandora's box worth of disasters, but... Here he is. By her side, willing to listen, and... he cares. Not just because he's a hero.

He wants to protect her. ... And she wants to protect him, too - from pain. The uncertain and unknown. And protecting someone from nebulous ideas like that is tantamount to impossible, especially when there's no actual, concrete solution. But... well, they can take turns protecting each other, it seems.

She quietly scoffs, rolls her eyes a little, though there's absolutely nothing real behind it. She's even smiling, faintly, when she sits up again. ]

Fine. Guess we're even.

[ There are worse things. For sure. ]