Adalwolfe Hawke (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wolfehawke) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2018-01-20 11:18 am
wolfehawke) wrote in driftfleet2018-01-20 11:18 am
Do pigeons have feelings?
Who: Adalwolfe Hawke
Broadcast: Yes, video
Action: Yes, Malum or Tourist.
When: In the wee hours of the morning, during drift week
Stop me if you've heard this one.
[Hello fleet, it's a very drunk Adalwolfe Hawke on your feed tonight. Which is weird because usually he doesn't make drunk posts, but hey it's been a hard wee- no, mont-... year? No, not long enough.
Life. It's been a hard life. And sometimes that catches up with him, so hooray alcohol and existential 2am thoughts.]
But, right, so, some people in the fleet are from earlier that other people in the fleet from the same versh.. version of the same world, right? So then would them changing someone when they get back - or if I guess 'cause who knows - would them changing a big thing then change that thing for the people here from later there? If say... Idunno, I was from before all the stuff and decided not to go to Kirkwall, would other stuff have happened instead of my stuff? Would that change all the... the stuff?
[Maker he needs Varric or Carver to translate his drunkspeech. He's not so far gone that he can't tell he's making the least amount of sense.]
Or if-if... I dunno if I should say that nevermind, but you all get my point, right? Is it set in stone? Or is it like... all these different Thedaseses that everyone is from, they just get made when something else changed so it still happened but the other thing happened too, somehow? Uh.
[He frowns into his mug. These are very murky, complicated thoughts. Clearly he needs to wash them off with more alcohol.]
Were we meant to do things or do things just happen even if we don't do anything? You get what I'm trying to say, right?
[Someone? Anyone?]
Broadcast: Yes, video
Action: Yes, Malum or Tourist.
When: In the wee hours of the morning, during drift week
Stop me if you've heard this one.
[Hello fleet, it's a very drunk Adalwolfe Hawke on your feed tonight. Which is weird because usually he doesn't make drunk posts, but hey it's been a hard wee- no, mont-... year? No, not long enough.
Life. It's been a hard life. And sometimes that catches up with him, so hooray alcohol and existential 2am thoughts.]
But, right, so, some people in the fleet are from earlier that other people in the fleet from the same versh.. version of the same world, right? So then would them changing someone when they get back - or if I guess 'cause who knows - would them changing a big thing then change that thing for the people here from later there? If say... Idunno, I was from before all the stuff and decided not to go to Kirkwall, would other stuff have happened instead of my stuff? Would that change all the... the stuff?
[Maker he needs Varric or Carver to translate his drunkspeech. He's not so far gone that he can't tell he's making the least amount of sense.]
Or if-if... I dunno if I should say that nevermind, but you all get my point, right? Is it set in stone? Or is it like... all these different Thedaseses that everyone is from, they just get made when something else changed so it still happened but the other thing happened too, somehow? Uh.
[He frowns into his mug. These are very murky, complicated thoughts. Clearly he needs to wash them off with more alcohol.]
Were we meant to do things or do things just happen even if we don't do anything? You get what I'm trying to say, right?
[Someone? Anyone?]
no subject
It is wrong, what is done to the mages. And it is wrong to see that injustice and do nothing. But it is also wrong to kill innocent people. I was truly changed, if I was able to do it regardless.
[Justice doesn't think that Wolfe will ever be able to appreciate just how horrifying this future is to him. Knowing that he will lose his free will, his independent mind, his sense of self, and then betray the very core of his being... it is the very worst nightmare any spirit could imagine.
He doesn't blame Anders for this fate, but that doesn't mean it's not still utterly mind-numbingly horrifying. Justice has never been the sort to fear the future, but he is afraid now. He is afraid of what he will lose. He is afraid of what he will become. He is afraid of what he will do.]
It is not Anders' fault he was angry. His anger is natural, and its effect on me was not something he could have predicted. But I do not relish my fate.
[The justice of destroying the Chantry and hurting Anders will always be his primary concern and everything that happens to him in the meantime is a distant second, but still. The thought of being absorbed into another person, twisted by their anger, unable to know his own thoughts any longer, unable to even speak save through their mouth, utterly consumed by their rage and the injustices they suffered until he is unrecognizable even to himself... it's not something he'd look forward to even if everything else about it were just.]
no subject
[None of them do. Adalwolfe doesn't enjoy being the Champion of Kirkwall and everything that everyone around him thinks that entails. He doesn't like being responsible for unleashing one of the worst evils Thedas has seen as a secondary Blight upon the world and then leaving the Inquisition to clean it up. Anders feels the weight of being the most wanted man in Thedas like a stone pressing on his chest, far lighter than imprisonment in the Circles of all mages, but still making it hard to breathe. But at least they still have their faculties. They still know who they are, what they are.
Justice turns to Vengeance, Vengeance can turn to Rage...
He goes for the bottle again and frowns to find it empty.]
I should get more. Do you want more?