Video | straps him to a lie detector

[edwinjarvis]

Who: Edwin Jarvis
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: Tourist or The Melting Pot, lemme know.
When: Now! ... Also, he has a truth-blabbering glitch for this post. Have fun.

Hello, everyone! Business as usual, I suppose!

[He puts on his glasses, adjusting them to scribble some notes on a pad of paper.]

For anyone who is unaware, The Melting Pot has near-constant openings for chefs or waiters, so do let me know if you're interested in joining the community there. I'll be working on restocking our supplies here at the latest location, so if there is anything in particular you're pining for, fear not, I'll have it back in the pantry. It's particularly important for me to keep myself occupied from the godawful nightmares I have of doom and destruction, or from the fact that I feel rather helpless and entirely inadequate sometimes.

[Wait, what? He doesn't seem to have noticed that rather revealing yet somehow stupidly jovial commentary, though. He just keeps scribbling away in his notepad. Dotting those i's, and whatnot. He clears his throat.]

Please let me know if there's any food you'd like added to the menu, also! We could do with more selections.

[A pause.]

Another point; our dear friend, Matt Murdock, had something important to share with me before he vanished from the fleet, a short time back. He has particularly honed super-senses you see, especially with regard to hearing — what with being blind — and had informed me that there are no sounds of camerawork in any of the ships. It does make me wonder how they know what we're doing, if they indeed know what we're doing. Or if they're actually broadcasting anything at all. Anyway, knowing that he hadn't the chance to point this out, I figured I would do him the courtesy.

... With that in mind — please let me know if I should be hiding in a ship bunker at any point, because I'm particularly sick of all this chaos we seem to fly right into. I have a terrible feeling, is all... though the strange snowy marshmallow planet was a delight, truly. I suppose I feel inadequately prepared next to some of the people from my world. And other worlds. All worlds, really. It's why I spend so much on augment enhancements, so I can keep up properly.

... Ah. What was I talking about, again?

[He scratches his head with the end of his pen.]

Sorry, I lost my train of thought. Pardon me. What's a decent conclusion here...?

.... Oh! Valentine's Day is coming up. Have I really been here a year...? Well! I won't be getting drunk this time.

But I'll still be baking everyone sweets, if they'd like.

Comments

video »

[edwinjarvis]

[He huffs, folding his glasses and putting them away.

There's an augment for sight, you know.]

It's hardly just coffee. I need to be capable of helping as much as possible.

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[mucked]

You don't need to let them muck about with your brain in order to be of service, Mister Jarvis.

video »

[edwinjarvis]

[With entirely annoying patience:]

It's already been plenty mucked around with, as far as I'm concerned. It's how I know how to pilot a bloody spaceship, or how I can understand someone who speaks full Japanese. We have absolutely no control over anything they do to us — it's quite a hopeless defense, to think avoiding upgrades will somehow protect us.

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[mucked]

Just because the devil knocks and forces his way through your door, it doesn't mean you ought to put out the good china for him.

[ STICKING TO HER GUNS. ]

video » 1/3

[edwinjarvis]

[He sputters, voice growing in size, unable to help his honest response:]

I would gladly serve the devil some tea and massage his fiery red shoulders if it'll give me more capability to protect the lot of you — whatever the outcome for me be damned!

video »

[edwinjarvis]

[.......... Wait, what in the world.]

video »

[edwinjarvis]

Iiii must be going see you later have a lovely day goodbye!

[DISCONNECTED, AN EASY ESCAPE, GOING INTO HIDING BYE]

(attempted) video »

[mucked]

[ okay. something's wrong; she's suspicious, now. but before she goes trying to track him down in person, she tries a few more times to ring him up and get him on the line. ]

Mister Jarvis--?

[ never has peggy carter ever sounded so desperate for someone's attention. good lord. ]

(attempted) video »

[edwinjarvis]

Hello, this is Edwin Jarvis; I'm unable to answer the phone at the moment, but leave a message and I assure you I will respond as soon as possible.

[Ugh, voicemail. A true sign of something being entirely not quite right.

I shall hide in The Melting Pot and never emerge.]

[mucked]

[ he gives her the brush-off. honestly. she'd be more steamed if she wasn't also so damned worried. a simple glance over other public conversations hardly helps to quell her concerns. still, she gives him a good few hours to reconsider his retreat.

and, eventually, she takes a shuttle over to the iskaulit.

peggy doesn't go to the melting pot's kitchen -- she takes a booth, instead, and waits for him. ]

1/4

[edwinjarvis]

[He is about to walk out, sees the back of her head, and does a full 180 back into the kitchen.]

2/4

[edwinjarvis]

[He pokes his head out a bit later. Is she still there?

Yes. Yes, she is.

Oh, bloody heck.]

3/4

[edwinjarvis]

[Goodness gracious, Edwin! Are you not a mature adult?!?

Stop this at once!
















.... Is she gone yet maybe?]

[edwinjarvis]

[... She is not.

And he sighs, entirely in defeat, before he sheepishly steps out — and eventually finds himself sliding into the boot behind her, back to back, feeling a little more defended by this familiar situation. Really, there's no hiding from Agent Peggy Carter for long. It's not like she's even particularly trying to drag him out of the bushes, but he knows if he takes too long, she may very well.

He clears his throat slightly, anxiously.]

... I apologize for my skittish behavior.

[mucked]

[ back to back. well, doesn't this feel familiar. achingly so -- but, then again, it had always been a safety precaution back then and she supposes it fulfills a similar function just now. it keeps him safe (ha!) from her. from her look of disappointment and reproach.

as it is, he need only hear it in her voice: ]

What you should be apologizing for, Mister Jarvis, is your omission. How many upgrades is it? How many have you hidden?

[edwinjarvis]

[He can hardly stop himself from speaking, which he's starting to notice is a grave issue.]

... Five... or six times-

[He shifts, feeling discomforted by his lack of filter.

By an inability of omitting and lying, of course.]

Miss Carter, I don't think this is a good time to discuss this.

[mucked]

Because of your glitch? [ oh, look, she didn't even need to guess. she merely proceeds under the full press that she's probably right. ] Seems to me it might be the ideal time to discuss it.

[edwinjarvis]

... This feels suspiciously like an interrogation in the works.

[But he deflates in his seat, quiet for a moment.]

I just don't see how being more well-prepared is such a problem, when our augments are already compromised constantly; it's not as though any choice I make with these will change the next glitch or change to our heads — we've little to no free will.

[mucked]

If you had absolutely no qualms about it -- if you truly thought there wouldn't be a single problem -- then it wouldn't have taken these circumstances for you to say anything about it.

Admit it -- you felt as though you had to hide it.

[ and she's not calling him out for having secrets, per se. after all! she has so many. but the very fact that he kept it secret suggests to her that he knows this is no small thing. no easy choice. ]

[edwinjarvis]

... Had others asked, I probably would have admitted it freely. I just knew you would take issue with it and come tell me how much you didn't approve of it; it had nothing to do with worrying about side-effects.

[He hit the nail on the head there, but it's not like that's some big shock to anyone ever in the galaxy; Peggy would come roaring like a china shop bull (or mildly, like a china shop cat) at the sound of someone around her doing anything she deemed ill-advised.

He can't stop himself from talking; the glitch pours it out, leaves him breathless from the admittance.]

I don't particularly worry about side-effects... It's already quite clear whether I'm upgraded or not, I'm in danger of being toyed with. What I am most concerned with right now is protecting you and the others, because I cannot bear to let anyone else down.

[He swallows back whatever he can, hands clenched on his knees.]

[mucked]

Mister Jarvis.

[ she cannot -- will not -- speak for others. but she can speak for herself, twisting in her booth so that she can stare at the back of his head. there's an ache in her expression that he misses so long as he stays turned away. ]

You have never let me down. [ perhaps she's being too generous. but her heart compels her to be. ] Don't torture yourself with a disappointment that doesn't exist.

[edwinjarvis]

I wasn't here to help you — and I won't be there to help Ana... Or — Mr. Stark and his family. [He can't turn towards her, because it's too open, and he feels a bit hollowed out by the terrible thoughts in his mind. Unable to particularly hit the brakes on his own thoughts, he elaborates honestly:] My family.

[His tone is rather morose, a far cry from his usual chipper facade.]

... If I keep being a step too late — if I'm inadequate for any terrible situation that may arise — I will not be able to live with myself.

[mucked]

What happened -- [ what will happen ] -- to your wife is not your fault.

[ if anyone is to blame? well, peggy grimaces where she sits. overcome with her own seed of shame. ]

[edwinjarvis]

I'm supposed to shield her from danger. Regardless... Having fault and being unable to prevent it, they're two different things, aren't they? One or the other... either way...

As I am, I am not enough.

[mucked]

That's bollocks. [ this time, she reaches out -- a hand on his shoulder. ]

Do you remember what you told me when you were stitching up my leg? Not long after first met?