driftfleet | Stick a Fork in Me

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Stick a Fork in Me

Who: Katie McCoy and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: Vanquish, Iskaulit, Malum
When: Today!

[Video]

Just a moment--

[She'd apologise for the deafening thunk of a very solid piece of metal striking the floor in front of your screens, but she's in too bad a mood. It's the business end of a battle axe, runes inscribed along the metal edge and the weapon far too ridiculously big for a person like Katie to use. In fact, it's not temper that made her slam the stupid thing into the floor. She just can't lift it for very long, it's too goddamned heavy.

(Especially for someone who's been out cold for nearly three months, and this is what she comes back to?)]

Now. Who's responsible for this? Where did you get it?

[Anyone who saw any Tully-related flashbacks in calibrations will recognise the weapon for his. Otherwise, the runework is distinctly Scandinavian (Younger Futhark, to be precise) if there are any geeks in the audience.

...also, that's from the Atroma and it's been sitting in the cargo bay for months. Merry belated Christmas? She really appreciates it. Honest.]

---------

[In person, one can find Katie either dragging said stupid axe back to her quarters on the Vanquish, down at the fox park on the Iskaulit, or lurking at a table in Malum and getting really drunk, which is possibly not wise but par for the course.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

How annoying. So are you both now just ignoring each other forever?

No, I'm just not talking to him. He'll have to come to me this time. Hitting him would be pointless and painful. My delicate bone structure would be injured.

Can't have that.

Want me to bounce him to the top of a mountain or something?

That seems a bit pointless, Katie. He's an Earth Seraph. He might like it.

[But, honestly, the thought of Katie trying to do something to her idiotic brother to teach him a lesson is...humorous and she lets out a soft chuckle.]

Thank you though.

Well, there's always the bottom of a lake, too. [Grin.]

You're welcome.

[Her chuckle turns dark.]

And he can't swim. He'll sink like a rock.

[Aren't you glad you aren't related to her, Katie? AREN'T YOU?]

[Psh, being related to you would be fun. At least she'd have relatives that talk to her, then.]

Poor boy. He'd have time to reflect on his wrongdoings.

[It's true. Being related to Edna is a lot of fun. For her, mostly. When her "relatives" aren't being giant morons.]

If he hasn't learned after nearly three thousand years, I don't know that there's anything that will work. He's rather stubborn.

[Pot. Kettle. Cauldron. Whatever.]

[Yeahhh, she bets that runs in the family.]

That's a very long time to not learn the important things.

[And to think they aren't actually blood related.]

Now you see what the problem is. He's just an ancient moron.

[Blood relatives are overrated. (...she 90% means that.)]

Ah, yes. Ancient morons are the scourge of our society.

[Said utterly sagely like every problem ever was caused by one.]

Katie. Don't humor me.

[But that's said without any anger or passion. She's actually sort of grateful to have someone to poke fun at her again. Even if she doesn't sound appreciative.]

So, besides playing with the vulpine, do you have any plans?

[Well, she was only half-humouring her. She knows some ancient morons of her own. But she can hardly clarify, so she gives an easy shrug.]

Unsure. Perhaps I'll sit here forever and overthink things. I shall have to remain perfectly sober while doing so.

[Maybe they should put all the ancient morons together and throw them off the edge of the world. It might do some good for a few places.]

I've never seen the point in drinking, but then again, I like my brain cells, such as they are. Besides, I do all my best overthinking on a mountain.

[It's nice talking to someone you know will flip what you say.]

I drink all the time. It's only special occasions I like to be sober. Just in case.

[She really just wants to stop thinking about Tully's axe.]

[Well, the charm of Edna is that she does that with everyone. It's only with Katie that it happens to be necessary to get anywhere in a conversation.]

Hm, yes, you're practically a fish. A stumbling drunkard who does nothing but make stupid videos after you take too long naps with overly large weapons and then plays with near-dogs.

Must be why I took a shining to you.

[It's an opening if Katie wants it.]

[Katie smiles at that. It's a less guarded one, genuine appreciation.

It fades after a moment.]

Do you remember those silly calibrations rooms? [Of course she does.] Where I learned the importance of always being honest?

[As a rule, Edna doesn't talk much about the Calibrations. No good comes of looking too closely at what anyone saw in them. Especially not what it says about her. She does, however, know exactly what Katie is talking about.

That scene is as vivid as one of Edna's own memories in her long life.]

I remember it. [She cocks her head to the side.] Why?

Do you remember the man who was trying to tell me not to?

[Her smile is thin.] He'd have been more successful if he threatened me with an axe.

The big, weird guy....

[Like she has room to talk. Eizen, Zaveid, Sergei, Heldalf, they all fit that description. Especially Kittybeard.]

I dunno. I think it's possible that you're related to Eizen. The axe might not work anymore than words.

It might be fun being related to Eizen. Wouldn't that make you my little sister?

Being related to Eizen is a pain in my foot. You might like it more. And I suppose it would make us sisters, if seraph families worked the way that humans' do.

And humans have such a perfect model, too.

[Says the girl with no blood relations who remember she exists.]

How do seraph families work?

Eh, it's overrated.

[Says the seraph who's seen humans sell out their own family for ephemeral things like power and money.]

I think the term is 'found family'. With my dumb brother and I, it was just knowing that we were the same fundamentally. Not every Earth Seraph born on Rayfalke was going to be compatible and put up with Eizen's personality.

Ahh.

[...]

Hmm. I suppose that could make Tully my found brother. Or uncle. Or nephew. Depending.

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