VIDEO; I want to play a game

[theirondragon]

Who: the Iron Bull and YOU
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: If you wanna find him in the gym on the Iskaulit, sure!
When: Late Monday night, because when you can't sleep, but it's just because you're thinking of home, you do shitposts in the middle of the night.

[ It's pretty clear from the sheen of sweat across the Bull's considerable shoulders, he's been working out even if it weren't obvious he was in the gym of the Iskaulit at the time. He takes a seat on a bench as the feed turns on and he smiles amicably at the fleet. ]

Hey! So, back home, me and the boys used to play a game when we were on the road. It's not easy to carry around a table around for cards just to have somebody get pissed and knock it over. [ He shakes his head. ] Anyway, here's how you play: you figure out the weirdest, most badass monster you and think of, right, and then you pit it against somebody else's, and you figure out who would win in a fight. Then, the loser has to come up with something that could beat the winner, or somebody else does. Whatever works. Sometimes there's fights.

[ He rolls his shoulders in a shrug. ]

That's the fun part, anyway. Okay, I'll go first: How about...a... [ He looks thoughtful. He's not going for the dragon first off. That's sort of like cheating. ] ...a wyvern, but with wings that let it fly in short bursts sort of like a chicken...and, uh...a gaze that can turn things to stone if its held too long.

[ This is a come at 'em thing! Feel free to post your own, threadjack with rebuttals, arguments, your own "games". Have fun! ]

Comments

[dothelokimotion]

[ Hmm. ]

About thrice the size of an average human.

[theirondragon]

Yeah, okay.

[ The big guy nods. ]

What kinda stone are we talkin'? Granite? Marble? Obsidian?

[dothelokimotion]

[ Space rock?? ]

I have no idea. I never did much studying on Kronans.

[theirondragon]

Oh, come on! That ruins the game! I mean...is it hard rock? Kinda soft rock?

[dothelokimotion]

I suppose it is rather durable.

[theirondragon]

Okay, okay. I can roll with that.

Are they fast?

[ Might seem like a weird question to ask about rock people, but he's seen weirder. ]

[dothelokimotion]

They can move rather quickly for beings made of rock.

[theirondragon]

...does that mean they're faster going downhill?

[ Yes. That was thoroughly his joke. ]

[dothelokimotion]

Certainly, if you provide them with a good kick.

[theirondragon]

[ He chuckles.] Nice.

Okay, so if they're aimed well, I can see 'em taking out a wyvern or two.

[dothelokimotion]

Most likely. Fire can do very little to rock.

[theirondragon]

And you know what they say about rolling stones.

[dothelokimotion]

[ That's a new one. ]

There are sayings about stones?

[theirondragon]

Rolling stones. Something about moss...

[He lost his point somewhere...]

[dothelokimotion]

[ His nose scrunches up. ]

Mortals are so strange.

[theirondragon]

I think it's about not sitting still or something.

[He shakes his head.]

No. Humans are weird.

[dothelokimotion]

I won't deny that, but there are only so many shades differentiating them from other mortals.

Or perhaps they're merely the most prolific and whiny.

[theirondragon]

And divided. Everybody's got a different idea of what's best for everybody else.

[dothelokimotion]

And try to enforce it. Regularly.

[theirondragon]

Trust me, I know. Look, things went so sideways back home, that they had to enact an ancient organization that overrides everybody else just to sort everything else.

[He pauses.]

Not that I'm complaining. The Inquisition pays me and the boys pretty well. War's always lucrative for mercenaries.

[dothelokimotion]

I hear that's rather common on many worlds.

[theirondragon]

What, human's coming up with their own cleanup crew? [he chuckles.] Can't say I'm surprised.

And yet, I've had a lot of folks here ask me, "Hey, what's a Qunari?" But I've never heard "what's a human". They're everywhere.

[dothelokimotion]

Indeed. It's rather frustrating to explain one's self over and over again. And yet, it rarely takes.

[theirondragon]

Nah, It's probably that there's so many of 'em, they just assume you're human until you tell 'em otherwise. Me? It's harder to hide.

[dothelokimotion]

[ the iron bull doesn't look that unusual to loki, but he's traveled most of the known universe. ]

That must get frustrating in its own right.