VIDEO; I want to play a game

[theirondragon]

Who: the Iron Bull and YOU
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: If you wanna find him in the gym on the Iskaulit, sure!
When: Late Monday night, because when you can't sleep, but it's just because you're thinking of home, you do shitposts in the middle of the night.

[ It's pretty clear from the sheen of sweat across the Bull's considerable shoulders, he's been working out even if it weren't obvious he was in the gym of the Iskaulit at the time. He takes a seat on a bench as the feed turns on and he smiles amicably at the fleet. ]

Hey! So, back home, me and the boys used to play a game when we were on the road. It's not easy to carry around a table around for cards just to have somebody get pissed and knock it over. [ He shakes his head. ] Anyway, here's how you play: you figure out the weirdest, most badass monster you and think of, right, and then you pit it against somebody else's, and you figure out who would win in a fight. Then, the loser has to come up with something that could beat the winner, or somebody else does. Whatever works. Sometimes there's fights.

[ He rolls his shoulders in a shrug. ]

That's the fun part, anyway. Okay, I'll go first: How about...a... [ He looks thoughtful. He's not going for the dragon first off. That's sort of like cheating. ] ...a wyvern, but with wings that let it fly in short bursts sort of like a chicken...and, uh...a gaze that can turn things to stone if its held too long.

[ This is a come at 'em thing! Feel free to post your own, threadjack with rebuttals, arguments, your own "games". Have fun! ]

Comments

[ video ]

[dothelokimotion]

Why not?

I would pit a Kronan against your wyvern.

[ video ]

[theirondragon]

Okay, okay. Sure, but first off, what's a Kronan?

[dothelokimotion]

It is what one would call a "rock monster".

[Broadcast]

[sandywolf]

May I ask what a wyvern is, exactly?

[Broadcast]

[theirondragon]

Shit, yeah. Wyverns are big lizards, about the size of a pony, tough scaly hide, nasty teeth, razor claws. They're solitary hunters, but the live in pods. Some people confuse 'em with dragon welplings, but they're way more dangerous, fast and mean.

Broadcast]

[sandywolf]

Hmmmm... In that case, maybe a Griffin would do the trick?

[he's trying to summon his knowledge of mythological animals here.

Video - Open to Discussion.

[luckyescape]

Let's do this!

[Someone is excited.]

Ship captains all pitted against each other but in a pinata breaking competition!
Who would win?

[Freya has a few things already lined up in her thoughts.]

Zombie dog versus vampire pony?

[That one is a compromise from what she really wants to ask but Freya isn't sure if anyone will know who the Pope is.]

Dehumidifier versus a humidifier?

[This would be a costly bill if Freya tried to figure it out for real and it's something she's been curious about for close to twenty years.]

Kitten ninja versus puppy pirate?

[She has more but she'll stop there for now.]

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[theirondragon]

Okay, okay. Calm down. Who are you throwing at the wyvern?

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[luckyescape]

I don't like calm.

[Freya pouts.]

I also think dragons are boring. I mean, they're cool and all, but your dragon sounds like it needs to see a therapist.

[She pauses.]

If I have to choose something? I'd say a blinded one winged angel with an impractically long sword. [Freya has a specific video game character in mind but she knows that the name would mean nothing to The Steve.]

[video]

[passingthrough]

[Oh, well, hello. How has she been missing you, sir?]

Is it rude or an honor if I say minotaur? [It just came to mind. Can't imagine why.]

[video]

[theirondragon]

Depends, I guess. What's a minotaur?

[video]

[passingthrough]

[She probably should have seen that coming.] Part human, part bull.

video;;

[postocular]

Okay, how about a bear with sharks for arms, or a shark with bear arms??

video;;

[theirondragon]

I don't think a shark would know what to do with arms, kid, so let's look at the bear.

With shark arms, huh? Okay, what kind of shark?

video;;

[postocular]

Nurse sharks. They've got the freakiest bite.

[poisontippedcure]

What about a book, that's already stone? With the ability to devour its opponents.

[She is not speaking from experience, why would you say that?]

[theirondragon]

That sounds like some kinda weird library demon.

How big's the book?

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[krammbunctious]

Oooo I like the sound of this game - What about, uh, how about a beholder?

[He hasn't fought one himself, but the rumors he's heard? Yeah he's in no rush.]

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[theirondragon]

[ He's grinning. It's a great game, Kramm. ]

Okay, okay. What's a beholder?

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[moseyin]

Hate those things, we got stuff like that back home.

Umm I bet a Red Dragon could kick its ass though. Fire breath obviously, but even though they're not that big it takes ten tons of beatings to put the damn thing in the ground.

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[theirondragon]

...did you say red dragons aren't that big? Define "small" then.

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[tough_love]

[You know what, she's game for this. There's not a whole lot else for her to do right now, anyway. Maybe it'll let her wind down and get some shuteye herself.]

I would enjoy seeing how your creature fares against a sand ripper. One capable of digging through solid rock, and with the ability to spit acid.

[It's actually sort of troubling that she's only borrowing that last ability from another creature, but the wildlife in her galaxy's kind of nuts.]

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[theirondragon]

Hell yes, now we're talking! It sounds like a spitting spider like the ones we have back home. How big do they get?

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[ginger_firebird]

I don't know any actual animals that would survive where I come from. What about an artificial construct? Giant bipedal lizard with a large head full of teeth and short arms.

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[theirondragon]

How big's "giant"? They don't come in just one size.