[ video ]

[ananym]

[ there's a pretty vampire, looking into the camera curiously before speaking. ]

I have been meaning to ask. Is there anything that you have learned here that has changed your lives?

Comments

[ananym]

That would explain your credentials.

[ or utter lack of them. ]

She was burned at the stake. That's why my father went mad.

[abracafcku]

What the fuck.

[Because he can't even goof on that. That's pretty fucked up? No, that's super fucked up???]

What the actual fuck? Who just burns a woman at the stake? That's-- [Taako gestures wildly at the communicator.]

What the fuck!

[ananym]

[ yep. alucard just waits it out. ]

She was a doctor accused of witchcraft. For the church, there is no quarter.

[abracafcku]

Wow. So she was a cleric and they burned her for it? What a bunch of shitheads.

No wonder you've never been to a church or a temple. They're a bunch of assholes. Fuck, I'd want to destroy them after that. No wonder your dad went psycho.

[ananym]

But it is not what she wanted. For him and . . . for the people she helped, despite her end.

She would never want genocide.

[abracafcku]

Kinda the shitty thing about grief, huh? It's super selfish but it's not like you can help it if it drives you insane.

[Doesn't mean genocide is justified though. That one? Kiiiind of a deal breaker for Taako.]

But yeah, probably, you're right. If he wanted to just burn that stupid church and those people down, go for it, but genocide's taking it a bit far.

[ananym]

[ his fingers lightly brush against his own chest. ]

He is beyond reason now.

[abracafcku]

Yeah well sane people don't go hopping over to genocide for funsies, so yeah. Sounds like it?

Fuck, man, that sucks.

[ananym]

[ what can alucard say to that? so he remains quiet. ]

[abracafcku]

[Taako lets the silence sit for a moment and then he huffs, popping his lips as he thinks.]

Well, as shitty as it is to say, I hope you stab your dad real good? And maybe also definitely, yeah definitely also the assholes who killed your mom because those dickwads deserve to die.

[ananym]

Thank you.

[ he'll take it. ]

[abracafcku]

Mmhm, not a prob, my man. Happy murder spree to you. May all your stabbings be directed outward and none be returned to you-- or something.

[ananym]

It really isn't a murder spree.

[abracafcku]

Well, I'm gonna assume he isn't just going to let you wander in and kill him. He'll probably have, like, goon squads or lackey fodder you'll have to go through, right? So you'll have to, y'know, kill them too. So it's kiiiind of a murder spree.

No judging here, homie. I killed a dude once and threw him off a cliff. Or was it a well? ....Maybe those were two different guys. I have no idea. They weren't important.

[ananym]

[ fair enough. alucard can't deny that. murder spree just sounds so . . . macabre though. ]

I'm hoping it'll be quick, at least. Now that I have help.

[abracafcku]

Oh deffo. You don't want a murder tour to take more than like an hour tops or the cops show up and ruin everything.

[Is he serious? Who knows! But he's definitely smirking]

[ananym]

The who now.

[abracafcku]

The cops? The popo? The party crashin' law-abiding--

...

Do they not have police where you're from?

[ananym]

As I said, the authority is the church. Or whatever force the elders of that place may have appointed.

[abracafcku]

Oh my gods. Your world is so shitty??? How do you not have actual cops?? Oh my gods, I could get away with so much shit in your country. Like. I'd steal everything not nailed down.

No- no, wait. I'd steal the nails and then the shit that was nailed down!

[ananym]

[ not sure if there's anything to steal . . . ]

I don't think performing magic there will win you much luck.

[abracafcku]

Pfft, well they can try to come after me. I'll throw their dumb asses down a well, too.

[Fuuuuck anyone who tries to mess with him. Taako's gonna live no matter what.]

[ananym]

Then we can all be glad it won't come to that.

[abracafcku]

Are we though? Because it sounds like they deserve to get thrown down a well.

[ananym]

[ they do, but alucard is unlikely to voice that. ]

Perhaps. Though I pity the well and its water.