driftfleet | the white noise is deafening silence

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the white noise is deafening silence

[In the very early hours of January 20th, as the Marsiva and her captives drift nonchalantly through the depths of the universe, there is a call. Every single personal communicator and console springs to life, spitting out a stream of indecipherable static and showing only gray snow on screen. It continues like this for a few seconds longer, going black and then going staticky, and then the signal switches to the encrypted channel generally used for speaking to the Interceptors when something big goes down.

This is a little more successful. The voice may be familiar to some, at least through the static.]

Zhade here! I trust I ███ your attention? I'm having some ██▓▓ble ██tting through. Some of the ░▓██▓█ are missing. I can't ░▓▓▓ read on their loc█████ns. [A particularly long burst of static.] ███stening. I'll s█▓▓█ more inf██▓▓▓▓▓█ I get it.

Stay sharp! [There's the sound of someone actually doing the fingerguns wink noise, and then static.

Any messages sent back won't get through, and Zhade isn't there to answer.]

[ A blip of lost time passes right after those words, before every passenger mysteriously wakes alone in their own unfamiliar room. The style of decor resembles that of the Marsiva's Hospitality Deck, if any passengers should remember what that's like. It sounds and smells the same as the host ship as well, all clean and chrome.

Welcome back to the Marsiva, dear passengers. It's time for round three of calibrations. ]

[ This mingle will cover all non-calibration room interactions. Please continue to come back to it for the duration of the plot! You are, of course, free to post any other mingles/posts/etc. that you'd like. ]

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Sure, I can cover it. First one's free.

[She tucks her spellbook back at her belt, leaning forward in her seat. She's ready to vault over the back of the couch and out of sight the moment it becomes necessary, lest their cranky critics see two people sitting in the exact same spot and assume it's still them. Though moving seats after the change would probably be good, too.]

Who'd you like to change into? Paint me a visual.

[He wishes he could go buckwild with this, but seeing how this place is kind of a closed microcosm of people, he has to think of someone who they all know or it'll be obvious he doesn't belong. Can't reuse the dullard he'd been when he and Kravitz had stolen the jewelry from the ice planet castle. Can't change himself into Kravitz either because somehow people knew that he was associated with Taako.

So?

Taako smirks and starts to describe.]

Let's see if you can guess. Elven, got some facial markings, white hair, basically always trying to one-up Eeyore, is starting to realize that there is food beyond reconstituted dried vegetables.

[She quirks a brow as he describes his request, and barely before he gets to the end she lets loose a burst of laughter, hastily clapping a hand over her mouth before it draws too much attention. His choice is unmistakable.]

Of course. It's perfect! And that makes my choice easier, too. Alright, hold on to your butt.

[She pushes off the floor and vaults herself over the back of the couch, muttering under her breath and gesturing with a hand as she disappears behind it. Arcane energy flares up around them, and in a matter of seconds the spell is cast. Taako finds himself suddenly looking exactly like Haggar from head to toe, with the outfit resembling one of the less miserly ones she'd been wearing recently, though more grim than Taako's usual attire.

And then the spitting image of Loki pops up from behind the couch, leaning over the back of it, wearing some fancy fitted green ensemble and a smug smile.]

Well. How fortuitous to meet you here, crewmate of mine. It is I, your captain.

[It's a pretty decent rendition of his accent, though the voice is pitched higher than normal. Illusions can't really fix that part.]

[He snickers when Lup disappears and notices the change in his appearance, shifting over on the seat and standing up. Makes it look like he's just come upon an empty place. He hunches over like Haggar usually does and pulls the hood of the cloak up. It's easier to pretend to be her when people can't see him trying his damnedest not to grin.

When Lup pops back up, he almost snorts in laughter though - it's hard not to.

Fortuitous?? Seriously, Lup?

He's trying his best not to laugh here!

It takes him a minute to keep his shit together, and then he inclines his head slightly and tries his hand at Haggar's voice. The inflection isn't great, but at least he has the octave range right.]

Indeed, Captain. I had not noticed you there. Behind the couch. Are you also--

[Shit, what's the word?]

Vexed by the current musical selection?

Oh yes indeed, quite vexed. Incredibly vexed. Vexatiously so.

[Her smug smile vanishes as she feigns an expression that is perfectly balanced between indifference and mild annoyance. As a god might look upon a mortal, perhaps!]

If only my incredibly ancient magics were strong enough to banish that powerful sphere, I could free us from this... aural torment.

[Fuck it's so hard not to laugh. They're both amazing at this and absolutely the worst.]

Unfortunately, I can only use telekinesis and it is unable to break through the barrier. It's-- It is quite regrettable.

At least we are not alone in our suffering, however.

[Because at that moment? The song changes back and a tangible shudder of horror ripples through the room as WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT starts screaming from the speakers.]

[Gods, it is so hard to keep a straight face- especially with the combination of Taako's Haggar impression and the sudden realization of oh no, not again falling upon the rest of the room. She lifts a hand to scratch idly at her nose while she wrestles with a wild grin. Some folks are already looking around for the mysteriously vanished elves, too.]

Oh, yes. Misery does love company, after all. Such a shame we appear to be nailed to the floor and incapable of leaving the room.

Perhaps this is what they call "hell." We are in a hell of their making.

[People are looking around for them now, but only seeing two disapproving parental figure where Taako and Lup once were. There's a few who stare a little longer, but the chaos of people going after the resilient sphere eventually distracts them.]

I have tried to discern the source of how we are cursed to remain here, but I am unable. We must suffer with the rest of these lot.

Whoever "they" might be. Those devious, mysterious geniuses who seem to have wandered off before the return of that terrible tormenting song...

[She goes back to staring at one of the dissenters, this time looking confused and disinterested instead of smug. Just who do you think you're staring at, stranger? She had nothing to do with this, of course...!]

Indeed. Whoever "they" might be, they must be magical geniuses beyond even our prowess.

[No one seems to be looking at Haggar, but it could be because Taako's managed to outfit his face with a pretty impressive scowl. It's close to how Haggar usually looks though, so most people only really give "her" a glance before looking away. The benefit of the space witch's reputation, he guesses.]

I wonder where they absconded to.

It's a mystery just begging to be solved, isn't it? But I have much better things to do, because I'm so very important.

[Lup feigns examining her nails (very busily) while keeping one eye on the crowd. They're back to poking at the sphere, getting rowdy again.]

Any guesses on how long that'll last?

Another nine minutes at the least.

[What a mystery! How could Haggar know such a thing? It's crazy!

He bites his lip to keep from laughing as he watches people bang on the sphere. He's glad he attached it to the panel itself so it can't get pushed around at all.]

But I have no vested interest in solving mysteries. I am a...lab assistant? Not a detective. I will leave that to the mob.

[And take his time watching them lose their collective minds.]

Of course, of course. And I'm a... captain.

[She literally has no idea what Loki's augment is, shit. Shaking it off with a casual shrug, she raises her voice, aiming it towards the rest of the room.]

Have you tried hitting it with a chair? That may yet work. Brute force is surely your best bet.

[Honestly? Taako lives on that ship and has no idea what anyone's augments are except his own and Haggar's. And he only knows Haggar's because she practically lives in the lab like a grouchier, less death crime-y Lucas.

Someone takes note of Loki's suggestion though and throws a chair at the sphere. The thing rebounds in an arc through the air, barely missing the head of the one who threw it, before skittering off across the floor. Meanwhile, the song keeps going on, not noticing a thing.

Pussycat, Pussycat, I love you
Yes, I do!
You and your pussycat nose!

Taako turns his laughter into a casual shrug as they look back at them again.]

Perhaps you need something bigger. You could try the couches or tables.

Edited 2019-02-28 02:13 (UTC)

[ And Lup just... quickly sinks back down behind the couch for a moment, because it is a genuine struggle to collect herself and not just burst out laughing. That went about as well as expected.]

Ah- y-yes-

[NOPE STILL GIGGLING, TRY AGAIN]

Mm. Mm-hm. Please do try with a couch. ...Just not this one, if you please.

[People start arguing over how they're going to use a freaking couch when the chairs didn't do anything, and Taako slides on over to where Lup is sitting. He can't sit himself, that's not what Haggar does, but he can hover in the background close to her and subtly kick the back of the couch. No laughing! It'll blow their cover!

Even if watching people gesture wildly at the couches and tables and chairs is hi-lar-i-ous. Someone tries to beat the side of the sphere repeatedly with the earlier chair and-- nope, fuck he's going to lose his shit.

Taako bites his lip and looks down at Lup, lowering his voice so only she can hear.]

I can't fuckin' believe this is working.

[She lowers her voice in turn, half-muffled behind her hand as she still tries to conceal her smile. She can't see from her vantage point anymore, but she can hear the thunk sounds of various furniture smacking against the sphere.]

Right? Sure as hell didn't imagine it would last this long. I think this song has driven everyone batty.

I mean, I did put it in like...fourteen times? Twenty-one?

[He shrugs a little, careful not to lean against the back of the couch.]

And these people have the self-control of excitable puppies. I never thought I would see people lose their actual shit over music though, this is great. Holy shit.

No kidding. ....Oh shit, [Her voice drops to an abrupt hiss of horrified realization,] I should have been recording this!

A grave miscalculation there, homie.

[Taako hadn't thought to record it either though. Now he's kind of sad, but it's a fleeting thing as the people start to riot even louder. It feels so weird to be emoting right now, biting his lip and trying not to laugh, while wearing Haggar's face.]

I mean, you still could. They don't seem to settling any.

Eh, it's okay. I missed the big reveal, the rest is just icing on the cake.

[She pushes herself upright again, somewhat composed, and leans over the couch to continue watching the chaos.]

Thankfully I've got a good memory, so I think I can hold onto this one.

[Makes one of us, he wants to say, but bites his tongue back. Taako's memory is a sticking point of late and one that he doesn't like to actually think about for more than, oh, now amount of time. He quickly brushes that aside and steps around to the front of the couch, perching himself on the arm of it.

He's only seen Haggar sit a few times, but she usually "perches" rather than sits. Lingering at the edge of seats like she's afraid relaxing into them might swallow her whole.]

Man, didn't think people would be this mad over a little musical appreciation. It's got a catchy tune! They should lighten up.

We could always sing along. I'm sure that would wildly improve the reputation of the- ....us.

[Almost slipped, there. And while she's joking, even as she says it she's tempted. The mental image of Loki and Haggar doing karaoke in front of an angry mob is kind of spectacular.]

[Taako, other than his mannerisms, has all but dropped the rest of the act until Lup's slip reminds him. Right, he's supposed to be acting and speaking like Haggar.

He resumes his best attempt at her voice, getting a little closer to her doom and gloom inflection this time.]

I have been trying to learn new things since...talking to these people. Perhaps this could be one.

Ah, yes. An excellent exercise in socializing with the peons. At least we've heard the song enough to know the words well, yes?

[She gestures with a hand to materialize the illusion of a fancy cocktail in her hand and lifts it in salute, beginning to belt out the lyrics in a ~~Griffin-esque~~ mediocre English accent.]

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