driftfleet | the white noise is deafening silence

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the white noise is deafening silence

[In the very early hours of January 20th, as the Marsiva and her captives drift nonchalantly through the depths of the universe, there is a call. Every single personal communicator and console springs to life, spitting out a stream of indecipherable static and showing only gray snow on screen. It continues like this for a few seconds longer, going black and then going staticky, and then the signal switches to the encrypted channel generally used for speaking to the Interceptors when something big goes down.

This is a little more successful. The voice may be familiar to some, at least through the static.]

Zhade here! I trust I ███ your attention? I'm having some ██▓▓ble ██tting through. Some of the ░▓██▓█ are missing. I can't ░▓▓▓ read on their loc█████ns. [A particularly long burst of static.] ███stening. I'll s█▓▓█ more inf██▓▓▓▓▓█ I get it.

Stay sharp! [There's the sound of someone actually doing the fingerguns wink noise, and then static.

Any messages sent back won't get through, and Zhade isn't there to answer.]

[ A blip of lost time passes right after those words, before every passenger mysteriously wakes alone in their own unfamiliar room. The style of decor resembles that of the Marsiva's Hospitality Deck, if any passengers should remember what that's like. It sounds and smells the same as the host ship as well, all clean and chrome.

Welcome back to the Marsiva, dear passengers. It's time for round three of calibrations. ]

[ This mingle will cover all non-calibration room interactions. Please continue to come back to it for the duration of the plot! You are, of course, free to post any other mingles/posts/etc. that you'd like. ]

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[Thor sinks back on the couch with a sigh, tipping his head upwards to stare at the ceiling.]

I don't know what to tell you then.

[ loki looks over thor, his gaze unreadable. finally, he also flops down, curling around thor. ]

You don't have to know or where to start. Just starting is enough. I'm sure there are things you wish to say. That need to be known.

[ a pause. ]

We're in this together, Thor.

[Thor jolts a little when Loki moves in, not really expecting it. He's on edge lately, all this diving into souls just further fracturing his already precarious mood. Things are better than they were a month ago, yes. It's not hard to step up from rock bottom. It doesn't mean he's climbed out of the hole though.

He makes an amused noise, to hear Loki say such a thing out loud. How things change.]

I haven't forgotten.

[Yet a part of him thinks the time for this was earlier, after Loki had traipsed through Thor's head. Only more pressing things had happened first - like Loki's knife pressed into Thor's throat. He shakes his head a little, banishing the thought.]

It almost doesn't matter, does it? With these dreams just laying memories bare like that, everything comes out anyway.

[ he is trying his best. it's not easy and it does not come to loki naturally. ]

Thor, you're deflecting.

[He is. And he knows he is. It's built up over these past few weeks, gaining memories of events so terrible that he can't find a reasonable way to explain them to those they affect. Having to jam his ragged edges back into the daily life of the Fleet instead of the ashes of home. It doesn't fit, yet he has to make it work anyway. Then there's Loki's mere presence, rendering things much more bearable but a constant reminder of what happened all the same.

There is one thing hovering over them both that Loki doesn't know about. If nothing else, Thor needs to tell him about that. He's hidden it long enough.]

...I told you I made that hammer to kill Thanos with, right? When we came back here.

[ loki's brow furrows as he turns to face thor. ]

Yes. You went to the dwarves and they forged it for you.

Dwarf. Only one was left alive.

[And now isn't the time to say what part Thor had played in getting it made. It succeeded, that was all that mattered.]

It has the power of the Bifrost upon it, so I used it to immediately get to Earth.

[Of course it doesn't work now. Thor's already tried it, attempting to use the Stormbreaker to return to a planet in this universe they had visited. No reaction at all.]

[ thor was building up to something. loki keeps any conclusions to the background for now. he nods slowly. ]

Which is where Thanos was. Getting the rest of the stones.

Yes. He had already gotten the last one when I came upon him.

[Only moments before. If he had made it into the area faster--]

I drove the axe right into his chest.

[ that makes no sense. if thor had — comprehension dawns on loki's expression, all the pieces neatly slotting together. ]

Oh, Thor.

[Thor doesn't see it at first, looking fixedly somewhere straight ahead. He's back in that moment again, driving the blade further into Thanos's ribs and watching him scream. Stupid. He had been utterly stupid.

Eventually he turns, and if his expression is stony Thor's eyes give it away: the guilt.]

I wanted him to suffer. I wanted to watch him die and know that it was me who did it.

[A short, sharp shake of the head.]

I had him and I failed to kill him.

[ loki is not really the forgiving sort. there is a lot in his life he has yet to forgive, even if he has, for the most part, moved on. it doesn't surprise him that thor had this shard of guilt lodged in his heart. finally he sighs, resting his forehead against thor's shoulder. ]

But he could not kill you. All that power in his disposal and he failed. That is his mistake. You will make him pay.

[ perhaps it is still childish of him, to hold onto that ideal. but loki could never give it up. thor is alive and when thor is alive, there is still hope. thanos is not a god. he was not loki's older brother. ]

Loki, you don't-- understand. He did what he was planning to do. Because I did not stop him in time... half the universe died.

[There's no denying Thor will pursue his vengeance against Thanos. If it's the only reason he still lives, he's not done yet. But in making this terrible mistake, he couldn't stop an apocalypse of unfathomable scale.

Thor could have prevented that. He didn't.]

[ a soft exhale. ]

If he did so with the Stones, then with those Stones, you can reverse it. The Stones are not the immutable law of the universe. They exist to counter it. And whatever is countered can still be undone.

[ and loki could not care about the huge loss of life. he's too selfish for that. ]

You have time yet.

[Easy for Loki to say. Harder for Thor to believe, though he chooses to do so anyway. Because he can't do this any other way. He can't think that it's all over. Where would that leave them all? Thor doesn't rightly know - it had been only minutes after the event that he was whisked back into this place, with no time for fallout to truly settle.

Thor exhales roughly, that deeper malaise acknowledged once again. At very least he's told Loki of his failure. Holding it back hasn't been good for him, yet speaking of it had proven harder than he thought.

He turns a little, not dislodging Loki's weight against him.]

I have time but no plan. He escaped to places unknown.

[ hmm. ]

I might be able to help with that.

[That has Thor twisting his neck to stare at Loki, uncomprehending.]

...what?

I can track down the Stones.

[ going into vision's room had given loki the inside knowledge he needed to work around the stones. ]

[It takes a moment for that to sink in, but understanding lights in Thor's eyes when it does. Tracking the Stones would let them figure out where Thanos is. They hadn't much hope otherwise of working out where the Titan had disappeared to - the universe was vast, the planets countless.]

If you can -- then we'd be able to hunt him down. But how is it done?

[He doesn't think to ask how Loki knows. There's all manner of things his brother could have picked up on while held by Thanos, or sometime in between.]

I'll have to imbue the spell onto your hammer. It . . . should work, regardless.

[ regardless of whether loki is there or not. ]

[A spell. That makes sense, in it's own way. Loki's always talking about how the Stones call to each other. There must be a way to tap into that.

The unsaid fact that Loki may not be present when Thor puts it into practice doesn't go unnoticed. Swallowing, Thor ignores it in favour of gripping Loki's shoulder.]

If it has a chance of working, we must take it.

[ loki nods. after a beat. ]

You said before that blame should rest on the one who does the deed. The blame rests with Thanos, not you.

[It really isn't fair, to use his own words against him. Yet it makes it harder to argue against their import. Thor's jaw clenches, wanting to disagree. He isn't blameless in this, no matter what Loki says. He may not have done the deed but it's clear enough that he had a chance to stop that act and failed in it.

"Why should you make up for the sins of others?" Loki had asked him in his mindscape. Whatever Thor's response had been had made sense there. Here, in the waking world, it's much harder to articulate. The gravity of his mistake.]

I'm not absolving him of blame. Of course he's responsible for this - massacre.

[ thor says that, but loki can feel it. the clawing noose of guilt around thor's neck, the weight of all those lives. how does one shift such a burden? loki isn't like thor. he's not particularly kind or giving. he's selfish and as such, despite such a great loss, loki knows he is glad. glad that thor lives, despite the abject despair.

recently, he has realized, it was cruel to thor. loki had regretted that much. but the rest?

if he was a better brother, loki would have better answers. ]

He made that choice. You made the choice to fight him. You'll do it right — by them and by — by me.

[And that's the heart of the matter. Thor knows that to be true, without Loki saying the words. It's what drives him now really, the desire to tear Thanos down and right what was wronged. Failing in that smote him with a wound that hasn't healed. Maybe it never will. Some hurts shouldn't fade into the background. But it's not going to stop him. Thor isn't the kind of person who stops when things are left unfinished.

Thor nods once, something firmer in his expression. The guilt remains, a rock in his stomach. He doesn't intend to swallow any more of it though. For old actions or new.]

I will. No matter what.

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