driftfleet | the white noise is deafening silence

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the white noise is deafening silence

[In the very early hours of January 20th, as the Marsiva and her captives drift nonchalantly through the depths of the universe, there is a call. Every single personal communicator and console springs to life, spitting out a stream of indecipherable static and showing only gray snow on screen. It continues like this for a few seconds longer, going black and then going staticky, and then the signal switches to the encrypted channel generally used for speaking to the Interceptors when something big goes down.

This is a little more successful. The voice may be familiar to some, at least through the static.]

Zhade here! I trust I ███ your attention? I'm having some ██▓▓ble ██tting through. Some of the ░▓██▓█ are missing. I can't ░▓▓▓ read on their loc█████ns. [A particularly long burst of static.] ███stening. I'll s█▓▓█ more inf██▓▓▓▓▓█ I get it.

Stay sharp! [There's the sound of someone actually doing the fingerguns wink noise, and then static.

Any messages sent back won't get through, and Zhade isn't there to answer.]

[ A blip of lost time passes right after those words, before every passenger mysteriously wakes alone in their own unfamiliar room. The style of decor resembles that of the Marsiva's Hospitality Deck, if any passengers should remember what that's like. It sounds and smells the same as the host ship as well, all clean and chrome.

Welcome back to the Marsiva, dear passengers. It's time for round three of calibrations. ]

[ This mingle will cover all non-calibration room interactions. Please continue to come back to it for the duration of the plot! You are, of course, free to post any other mingles/posts/etc. that you'd like. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[On Haggar's side, she seems tireless as the ritual progresses, the arcane energy of course only fueling her intensely focused state with its potency. It feels good--almost too good, as to be expected with such raw power.

The glyphs continue to glow, and she maintains her sphere, her poise, continuing to siphon the energy away and allowing it to transform and flow through the weaves. There was still too much excess energy present for there to be any considerable balance reached, yet. More time was required.

Something seemed off with Lup, and there was the constant reminder that anything could change at any moment, with this energy. With Lup's mental state. Risks. But they had their precautions, and she was still confident that they could deal with any surprise side effects they hadn't calculated. But hopefully there wouldn't be. It seemed too early to question, and the less risk to her concentration the better.]

[Things progress like that for some time without incident, those little pinpricks an aggravation and a growing concern at the back of her mind, but nothing too alarming yet. Five minutes... twenty minutes... she quickly loses count. It's slow and almost monotonous, a gradual drip-feed that over time she simply grows used to, zoning out a little, since her role is just to sit there and endure it.

...a spark jolts off of her body, scarring itself across the wall adjacent to where she sits. Then another, on the opposite side. Arcane energy attempting to escape against her will, like a snarling wild animal thrashing against bonds trying to tame it. She grimaces, murmuring an apology, and tries to rein it in. It resists, of course, which is precisely what it's been doing since this whole mess started, but she can still push back against it, she's had plenty of practice with-

snap

She feels it then, before she can fully build up her confidence, her ability to stamp down the wrestling arcane energy. Something tearing out of her, coiling and thrashing around the glyphs that Haggar's set up around them, and her form hunches over as if her spine had been torn from the skeletal body beneath her robe. Bony hands brace herself upright against the floor, and a low moan escapes chattering teeth. The sparks intensify, looming closer to where Haggar is still working.

Her spell slots are spent, the extra batteries drained, and all that's left is her. But they're not done yet- she's not safe yet.]

...I think I... see what you meant. Before.

[Oh fuck, but this one hurts.]

Edited 2019-03-20 04:20 (UTC)

[There it was.

Haggar could have gone faster with the ritual, but it might have caused something like this to occur sooner, and it might have been more intense. Energy that wouldn't remain tamed, energy that wanted to break free--but Haggar could feel it in the room, in the air, see those steadily approaching sparks, the increased danger, the challenge.

Lup's state.

Above all it was still-- energy, she needed to draw it in, make certain it hadn't dragged anything of Lup with it when it escaped, and redirect it with the rest. It was too soon to waver, but they were close.

So close. She does not speak, though she sends a mental whisper to Lup instead.]

I will handle it. Remember yourself. We are close.

[Haggar still sounds confident enough that Lup tries to draw upon that, metaphorically leaning against her, trusting that she'll know when enough is enough. It hurts, yes, but she's endured a lot over the centuries that she's been alive, and this isn't the worst she's ever had to suffer. It just usually isn't quite so... prolonged.

But fine. Fine, it's for the greater good. Or at least her greater good, which is pretty damn great and good in her mind. She can do this. She will.

By hour two, though, it gets... very hard. She's panting for breath she doesn't need, she's growing unfocused, and arcs of lightning have charred the walls around her a pure black, weak flames licking around the edges of her form. Those outbursts are growing weaker the more of her energy is drawn out of her, but stubbornly they keep fighting against her, as if the very idea of behaving is contrary to her very nature. Which is... fair enough. And accurate. But sucks, because it makes this a lot harder over time.

A lich's energy is the essence of their soul, and a lich's soul is pure, unbridled emotion. And in this moment her channeled energy is frustrated, angry, distressed. Fear licks at the edges of all of that, beginning to weave more prominently into the energy ebbing away from her, eating away the other emotions until it rises above them, sitting heavy at the forefront of her arcana.

Suddenly, without warning, the ritual digs too deeply. Whether Haggar meant it or not (she wouldn't, she wouldn't, Lup knows but she feels it and shit, no) it pulls upon a particular strand of her soul that twists up within her and rejects everything about this feeling. The experience of being pulled apart like this is-

-is-

no

NO!

She screams then, a truly wretched noise that she tries to strangle in a fleshless throat but can't, there's nothing to stifle it with. It's not a sound of pain so much as terror, shrinking away from the awful sensation their combined magic is dragging through her soul. It's carried in her energy, it's torn out of her heart, it's spun into the very essence of what Haggar is pulling out of her and she can't, she can't, she's being ripped apart piece by piece and woven back together inside that fucking orb and it's dark and it's cold and it's

familiar

not this

please don't

nails dragging through the dirt

she fights but

it pulls, and pulls, and pulls

not this

legs gone arms gone voice gone body gone

a scream in the dark that no one hears

find me find me find me find me

a corpse rots in the corner flesh peeling off in layers worms crawling

it's hers it's hers it's hers

don't look at it

curtains rustle and never part

there's no way out she can't go back

LET

ME

GO

With another unholy scream she jerks upright and raises a hand, powerful energy crackling around trembling skeletal fingers, upright palm faced directly at Haggar- or rather, at the sphere that lies between them. An unhealthy dark mist ebbs away from her body as she channels what's left of her power (too much, not enough, it hurts) but that doesn't stop her; she keeps going until it comes to a head and she utters a single, unintelligible word, releasing it, lashing out instinctively at the thing hurting her and dragging her torment to the forefront of her mind. Their magics clash in the center and twist together, fighting for dominance: Haggar's ritual, and the most powerful Counterspell that Lup can muster.

Though left unspoken, her intent is clear.

STOP.]

[This entanglement of spirit, of energy--it was hard to deny even now, that pull, that fascination...

As time had gone on, Haggar had streamlined the process. It was taking long--much longer than it might have taken otherwise, had she not had to be so precise with the delicate balance of soul and energy. She retained her caution, but she could sense, when and where she could draw the energy in quicker, where to maintain the separating, thread by thread, seeing only the energy and soul and less of -- well, the state of the room itself around them. The time for Haggar passes differently than it does for Lup. She can sense Lup's holding on, that inner turmoil--but she must remain focused, logic over emotion.

The goal in mind was to help preserve--to help maintain the person on the other end of it, which differed so much from how she would usually handle such a task. Understanding and consistently recalling that there was more than just an artful array of energy here. It was more than doing what needed to be done for the sake of being true to her role in maintaining an empire. This was -- an individual, who had already gone through so much.

Individuals had not ever really stood out before, if not for their strength or their uses, and previously, only one had been elevated to any height of importance. But this was different. So very different. She maintains. It's close, now, and yet--

It happens, then, that swirl of something buried deep, and that backlash of pure--raw emotion and words that ripple back upon on her like a sudden wave and all she can do is brace through it as the counterspell clashes through the orb, threatening to break apart the process. It barely holds long enough for her to release the energy safely, and finally Haggar lets out a scream of her own as the sphere dissipates and she crumples to her knees, breathing hard.

The wards remain intact, the lingering energy still powering them from the ritual, but Lup's intent was crystal--and she’d certainly promised to stop, at that.

Finished then, for now--but was it enough?]

[For a while, Lup does nothing but stand there, hand still outstretched, her form visibly trembling from the effort and energy expelled over the course of the ritual. More of that ugly black mist ebbs away from her body in wisps and curls, dissipating into nothingness. It stops after a few moments, but evidently the damage has been done. The wraith twitches, flinching back as if stung by something, and finally drops to the ground and collapses in a heap of robes and chains, face down and unmoving. Her form still ethereal, she actually sinks into the floor somewhat, but the chains holding her in place prevent her from going too far.

There's still some energy radiating from her corner, indicating that she's- well, not alive, because that's not how undead creatures work, but existing at the very least. The level of power she possesses has been severely weakened, her form damaged, and too exhausted to move for the moment.]

[Haggar watches Lup, sensing for her energy levels to make certain she's still--present, but that had been... rough, to say the least. That emotional backlash had been something she could not prepare for, despite everything else.

Reality was so much different when you could feel what was in it. And that pain and desperation, that utter sense of despair leaking from Lup had been... awful.

Either way it was a learning experience--there was some threshold there to not cross. Should not have been crossed. She had learned so much about--regret, here.]

... Lup. I am sorry.

[There's another lengthy silence, until finally the heap on the ground stirs very slightly. She doesn't get up, content to just lie there and rest, but very quietly she speaks up.]

...no... don't be. I should've... seen that coming.

[She doesn't know how either of them could have anticipated that, but in retrospect, this is a predictable conclusion. Ever since the tree she's been unraveling, so of course those memories would be at the forefront of her mind when she's already in such a poor state- and in her lich body, trapped and powerless to escape? Yeah, she definitely should have known.]

[Haggar slowly shifts her position, drawing her knees up and draping her arms over them, leaning forward. She was physically energetic but the emotions were heavy. A combination that just felt like everything around her was buzzing.]

We had much to prepare for.

[And it went without saying that Lup was already overwhelmed with all of it.]

More importantly, you are still here.

[There's a huff of weak laughter in response.]

Against all fuckin' odds. Might have, uh. Pushed a little too hard, there. [She hesitates, taking stock of her condition, and then adds,] I don't feel like I'm gonna blow a hole in the wall anymore. Actually, I don't think I can cast any spells, period. So... mission accomplished, I guess. For now.

... For now.

[She agrees, cautiously, reassessing what had happened. Sitting the way she is to try and contain that jittery sensation, from all the energy, the hijacking of emotion resulting in longer pauses between her words, while she catches her breath, from the sensation of her heart wanting to leap from her chest.]

At some point, we must account for what this means for the future. We can adjust... this method, now that we are aware of what the threshold is, to not--push so far. If you still accept this as an avenue, with what has happened.

[We she says, because when she commits herself to a purpose she doesn't do it lightly. Still, it was Lup's choice and she had bought her some time.]

... however, keeping your energy stabilized is one matter. Your... tether is another.

[Another long silence on Lup's part, broken only by the strange, ethereal noise that is her breathing in this form. She has no lungs or lips, but her soul remembers.

Her tether... Taako. It's true: Haggar can absorb all the excess energy that she likes, but it won't solve the bigger problem causing this.]

...Yeah. But my tether can also wait until this whole situation has been dealt with before I start worrying about that full time. I can't do anything about it when I'm... like this.

[If she tried to face him in this form, without him knowing, without him being okay with it? Either she'd get blasted or he'd Blink his way out of it, make himself scarce. He knows what liches can do, and any trust he has in her is tentative at best. Still far too easy to break, and she's already pushed him enough.

More than anything else, though, she just isn't safe.]

Once we get off this ship... I'll do something about it. For now I'll just use all this spare time to come up with something.

Yes... that can come later. For now, you require rest... perhaps even a distraction.

[As long as Lup was prepared to deal with the future down the line, she need not do it right away, especially not while in her current state, where she was too vulnerable, still.

And looking out for someone else's interests... well. That was something Haggar really needed to do, right now.]

Nnngh... maybe just a good thunk to the head until this headache goes away.

[Not that it works that way- she barely has a head to be aching, and any attempted thwacking would phase right through her.

Reluctantly, though, she finally shifts and floats herself up a little, until she's at least out of the floor and halfway sitting up. She gives herself a once-over, and... yep, all parts still accounted for, ghostly though they may be. Whatever just happened, it probably won't have lasting damage.]

Um... seriously, though... thanks. Even if it's temporary, I feel a little better about being stuck here.

[She manages a soft sound of amusement, at that first part. Her too, honestly--between the rush of energy and the emotion and the unpleasant persistent thrum of backlash from the augment's interference she did not feel inclined to move from her current position. She lifts her gaze slightly as Lup shifts to assess herself, but--only slightly.

... And then that gratitude follows, and it gives her a brief moment of pause before she replies, as she's surprised, in spite of it all.]

... you are welcome.

[It was still unusual to be thanked for the use of her magic, even if she had been the one to offer in the first place. It was never something to be thanked for, as much as she had serviced the empire as an instrument, to refine, stabilize or to destroy, but... not ordinarily to be used to aid another like this.

And with Lup, she had not hesitated to offer--let alone give thought to warn for the suffering it might have caused. And did, no less--but Lup had taken the offer, and so here they were.

Still strange. But it was important to -- be able to feel that, too.]

... it was... difficult for you. I am glad that it was able to help.

...Nah, just...

[She shifts uncomfortably, tucking her hands in her lap; the chains rattle as they drag against the floor. She's not even sure how to address what just happened, so after a long silence she falls back on her default: shrug it off.]

Dragged up some stuff, you know? Not fun in the moment, but I can deal.

... you deal with quite a lot.

[She had known many resilient people, but her job either had been to push them or to break them, not... relate. Not sympathize. She was still wrapping her head around the emotion that had settled into her. The terror of that power. Her power.

The terror of something that was--far less careful than Haggar had been, for all her intentions and preparation, but Haggar well knew she could have done the same, were Lup a resource and not--important, and it was an unpleasant sort of reminder all around, as important as reminders were, to -- resist such impulses, to stop classifying people the way the witch might.]

... you should know that while we were 'in the moment', as you say... I saw what happened to you. I can feel it.

[Granted, she didn't have all the pieces assembled, but something of a guess.]

[...Ah.

Lup is quiet again, for a long moment, then exhales a false breath and presses two skeletal hands against whatever passes for a face within her hood, a tremor passing through her form.]

Fuuuuuuuuck. Seriously, you saw that? All of it?

[Worse- she felt it? Because she felt it too, and it hadn't felt nice. About as un-nice as it'd felt back when it actually happened.

Seriously, fuuuuuck.]

Yes, all of it.

[She's quiet for a long moment, allowing Lup the time to process-- well, that. After all it was Lup's experience, and it wasn't as if they were in the Atroma-induced mindspace, either.

Her words carried a slightly less measured cadence than usual. There was never any--sitting around talking after a ritual. Especially invasive ones. Accidental as this result was, it was still an overstep, which -- had prompted that apology, earlier, as unaware as Lup had been at the time. So she scrapes for the words. It feels strange to explain this. She had forgotten to mention the possibility of it before, with all else there was to safeguard against. Flashes could often be disregarded easily, unless the goal was to search for them, which was an entirely different process. An entirely different ritual.

And yet what had occurred here was--not a flash. It was more akin to being engulfed by a wave, but she did not exactly have the language to describe that, either. Even when Allura had countered her magic, it was different, from this.]

... When it comes to... handling souls, encountering flashes of memory through a process is... sometimes to be expected. This was different. It was... as if your entire experience was fighting back at me. It must have felt... similar what you had gone through before.

[Welp. So much for keeping that little nugget to herself.

She huffs and leans back until her cloak touches the wall, sitting quietly as Haggar speaks. At the last part, she just nods and weighs her options... but there really isn't much else she can do. She can't just pretend it was nothing. And she's been on Haggar's case about honesty, and... ugh.

Times like this she wishes she was more of a hypocrite.]

You remember... that time, at the tree? When it gave me that umbrella?

[It's a rhetorical question; perhaps it's a little egotistical, but she has no doubt that Haggar remembers. That day had been stressful for both of them, and she'd put on one hell of a show before she bailed. They'd talked about what happened after, but she never truly explained herself. Hadn't wanted to, or needed to.]

I made it, years ago- it was my spell focus. It's called an Umbra Staff, and it's speciality is absorbing the power of defeated magic users... it swallows their spell focus, their wands, and adds that power to itself.

[Go figure. Try to do something good for someone else, and rip open old wounds instead. About right, for her luck with these things.

There had been no need to press further at the time it had happened, but it was not something to forget. She nods slowly, as Lup speaks, the description of the wand helping fit in some of the missing pieces about Lup's reaction to that weapon, as she reflects on that all over again. That feeling that there had been an untold part to the story. Lup had said she went off to try and fix their mess alone, for that final time, and then -- that incident must have occurred along the way.

A different story.

And to have on her a weapon with a power that was able to absorb, that trapped and held her within it... a weapon that she had herself created, only to be betrayed by it. Lup was no ordinary magic user.

... No wonder. She felt something in her react, as the pieces flitted to place, snapping her head up from where her chin had been nearly resting on her arms. What.]

-- And it gave that to you?!

[Lup didn't even go into any details and she was-- already angry. She shakes her head abruptly at herself for speaking out so suddenly instead of continuing to listen, but, it couldn't be helped.]

... My apologies. Please continue.

[It's hard to tell within the shadow of the hood and the lack of features, but after being momentarily taken aback, Haggar might catch the faintest glimmer of a smile, albeit brief. Sounds like she already gets it, at least to some degree. That makes this easier, in a way.]

Continue, and tell you what you already know, now? Yeah, sure. I was stupid, I went into this shitty abandoned cave to hide my relic- just me and a dwarf, acting as my guide. He noticed the gauntlet, and the stupid bastard stabbed me trying to get it. I still managed to lock them both away, but... well, poison. He got me good.

[She gestures vaguely, as if that explained anything, as if that can somehow convey the anger and self-loathing for her own recklessness or the regret she'd felt that there was no going back, that she'd be trapped like this, that her body was lost and the Bond Engine couldn't bring her back this time.

If only that was the worst of it. Idiot.]

I died there. And when I fell out of my body as a lich? Like I said, I'm pure arcane energy in this form. Umbra Staff did its thing, chomp chomp, down I went. And there's no way out from the inside.

[Haggar remains quiet, listening, the pulse of anger not quite faded, as the other pieces join in, from other conversations they'd had...

It explained things she had not even considered fully, before, all of those hints and implications that she had not pressed. The least of all being the reminder of that grasp of her hand, when they'd met again after the tree, as if Lup had not been able to do so for some time--and Lup would have known what it was like to miss that, in her isolation.

Because her next leap... well. Hard not to guess, there, and unfair to have Lup continue on with what she had hinted at during other times: that she had ultimately been forgotten there, and that if she were to be sent back now she would still be there. Erased from the memory of her own brother, with no way out, and there really were no words to describe how ... even to use Lup's own words, shitty that was, no matter how resilient she was.]

I thought it better to hear as much in your own words, though the pieces... have come together.

...I figured, yeah.

[She fidgets uncomfortably, her hands lifting and twisting the chains together, letting the links click together like worry beads. It's hard to listen to her own voice relive the awful things she's been working all these months to bury and stop thinking about- except that this damned place is conspiring, over and over, to drag it to the forefront.]

I didn't... tell anyone where I'd gone. I thought they'd stop me. I thought- it'll just be a few days. I even left a note for them. "Back soon", I said. Gods. [Clink, clink, clink, go the chains, almost frantic, aggressive.] And then their memories were blocked off, so they stopped looking. How can you look for someone when you don't even know they exist? Not that I knew that. I didn't know anything, I couldn't do anything. I sat in an umbrella, in a cave, in the middle of nowhere, for ten years.

[Haggar listens: to the sound of the rattling chains, to Lup explaining, to that still lingering sense of fear and recoil coursing through, that perpetual cycling of energy.

Granted the amount of time isn't exactly something she's able to conceptualize clearly, but she well knew how tested the resilience of others could be, whether it spanned days or centuries. And to be in a state of energy, trapped within darkness, with nothing else?

She had once referred to it as a fate worse than death. But this was different, still.]

... for you to endure in such a state, and yet still have your own mind.

[Her tethers must still have been strong. And yet, keeping it that way... to think that things weren't worse for her right now. No wonder Lup had fought against this magic with her whole self. She hadn't been able to before.]

... But something must have changed. For you to -- know.

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