driftfleet | Action | Who needs a gosh dang drink??

Entry tags:

Action | Who needs a gosh dang drink??

Who: Steve and everyone else who just needs to get drunk. One closed to existing CR
Broadcast: No
Action: The Iskaulit/Space Bar
When: Post Calibrations/Bombing the eff out of Marsiva

[OPEN]

Tony would probably be proud of Steve, if he were able to see him right now. He'd slap his back and welcome him back to the world of inebriation while ordering shots for everyone in the bar to commemorate the day. As it is, though, Tony isn't here and, without him, there's not a damn person who would feel proud in this entire bar. That's part of it's charm.

Steve sighs and swallows his fourth drink. It's strong and alien and somehow enough to give him a strong buzz but not enough to really get him drunk. Not yet, at least. But he's not a quitter, so bottom's up! He hisses a little at the burn of it and feels, not for the first time, like he was being a coward. He saw some stuff in those rooms, sure. But other people had it so much worse. Saw so much more. He should really be thankful, actually.

But he's not. And this is a 30's approved way of getting over trauma. There were worse ways of coping, he was sure. So for now he's just going to stay in his seat and keep ordering drinks until that elusive drunken state hits him once more.

Should only take another hour or three.

[CLOSED TO EXISTING CR]

No one could blame Steve for starting. He'd messaged his friends about fifteen minutes ago, telling them to meet him at the bar for some drinks. But just sitting here, waiting? It was done better with a drink in hand to look social, at least. And it's not like that one is going to be his last. No, after Calibrations he can imagine himself coming over here quite often. He can imagine all of them coming here quite often, in fact. But maybe tonight (today? Space was hard to judge) would help take some of the sting off. Or at least some of the awkwardness.

But it wasn't as though they <i>chose</i> to share all of that. Loki, Steve is sure, would have preferred to keep his death to himself. And Thor? I am sure half of those memories were things he'd rather not have replayed over and over again. And <i>Hux</i>. God... That was just what Steve knew of. Who knew what other people had put his friends through? What they'd been through themselves?

Steve preemptively orders another drink for whoever shows up first. Whoever it was, he's sure they won't say no. Not now.

First round is on him.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

She'll take his answer at face value then, at least for the moment. Natasha is inclined toward protecting her privacy, and protecting Steve. If someone was overstepping...

Probably better they didn't.

"Oh, very proud." Her attention falls to her drink. "I'm glad you remember that conversation. I owed you more from it."

Steve nudges her with his shoulder lightly. "All I remember is that I'm owed a dance. And we have a bet over whether or not I can flatten your toes." He smiles and nudges again to be playful.

"I'm still pretty sure you'll come out of it limping. But we'll see. Maybe waiting for the right partner means waiting for one fast enough to get out of my way."

"Still say it won't happen." Give a girl some credit. This is what she does. The joke gets a smile out of her, appreciative. Her eyebrows go up archly as he continues though. "Sounds like you're making this into a real challenge. If I get out of this toes intact, I wouldn't take it as a sign we were meant to be."

She takes a drink, letting her words set a beat. Then: "You could owe me dinner."

Steve is ready to start the backpedal before Nat starts joking back and his alarms turned off. Relaxing he lets out a small laugh. "Is there anything worth eating around here?" But he still gives a small shrug and grins. "There's no way you're gonna win so, sure. Dinner is my loss. And when I win you can owe me dinner."

He looks around the room and wrinkles his nose a little.

"I'm gonna wait till we're at a good planet to claim that one, though."

"There's a cafe—not sure who's running it now." It used to be Mr. Jarvis, a fact Natasha keeps to herself, because it leads to a lot of explanations. A lot of those explanations come at things she intends to talk about, but not from the direction that makes sense.

She likes to keep her mind organized when she's picking and choosing what to say. Even now, she's not entirely sure how much she intends to tell him or how she'll start.

They have time to get to it.

"It used to be all right, but all things considered we're both better off waiting until the next planet. You can owe me until then." Because she is very, very confident she'll win this, Rogers.

Steve raises his glass to toast this bet. He is still going to win though. Make no mistake, Natasha. Steve was going to collect that dinner.

"I'm kinda excited to see the next system. I hope it's a good one instead of the cannibals and all else I heard. But even then, I'd like to maybe get some of this aggression out." He drinks deep and starts looking around to get another.

"You hoping for anything in particular?"

"I'll take anything where the planet doesn't blow up." Her standards aren't so high at this point. She's seen worse than cannibalism here. Though as luck would have it, she slept through the cannibals. "Beaches would be a bonus. Anywhere we can get out and get some fresh air. I've had about all of the inside of ships I can handle."

There was something that Steve hadn't even thought of. His face probably shows it as he stares at Nat, stunned. "Blows up? How often does that happen?" He's security so he already knows that all these weapons will be needed for something. But a planet blowing up?

"Please say 'never'."

Her smile fades at that, softening into a wince. She's seen too much. Between here and home, she's seen more than anyone should have to.

"There was one system we stopped in, a resort world. While we were staying there, we spotted an asteroid heading toward the planet. No way to stop it. The rest of the stay was devoted to evacuation." Natasha and James has been planning a cruise; obviously the plans had changed. "We were in orbit when the asteroid hit. Front row seat for the atmosphere catching fire and most of the crust becoming molten. We got everyone onto space stations and rescue ships, though."

So not never. Sorry Steve.

"I hear that the planet was stabilizing faster than expected. Maybe a generation and they'll be able to resettle it." Natasha's not sure if Steve will take the hint in that or not. He's smart, so she thinks he'll get it.

"That's the only actual explosion."

Steve frowns listening to it. He has no idea whether this planet was put in their path because the Atroma knew that they were going to be hit or whether they had arranged that for 'viewing'. Either way, it's a cruel thing to stand by when people can be killed. Steve has a fresh wave of fury against their captors and the people watching this all to be entertained.

God, he's glad he shot them to shit. But it leads to a question.

"Where are they now? Just drifting along? Or did they find another place to live?"

"As I understand it, they're just waiting for when they can go home. Until then, they're refugees." And there's not much that anyone here can do about it. She rubs the back of her neck, then finishes her drink. "But they're alive, so I guess it could be worse."

For Natasha, it about the worst thing that's happened in Drift Fleet. Probably the second or third worst thing she ever saw.

"There's something else I owed you." Natasha circles back, because if she doesn't then she'll never find the right time. "I told you before I'd have an answer, that I'd let you know when I'd go back to if I could."

Steve had almost forgotten, but this return puts a warm smile on his face. Nat is one of his closest friends so he knows what it means for her to be trusting him with something like this. He leans forward, showcasing how she has all of his attention, now. Undivided.

"Yeah. You do. Did you come up with something?"

"I did." Natasha remembers what Vision said about opening up more, and the Iron Bull. Apparently she hasn't been all that good at concealing the fact that she doesn't have the support network she should. That alone might not be enough to get Natasha to say it, but... she'd rather tell Steve herself than have him find out some of the things she's held back because the Fleet decided to expose her secrets.

Plus, he had shared with her. Maybe that sort of thing shouldn't be transactional. Reciprocal, though? She could aim for that.

"The funny thing is, it happened here. And it might be more like your pick than you'd expect." Is that funny, if they'd both chose to be with Barnes? "The time that keeps coming to mind was two years ago, Barnes's birthday."

Steve smiles but the edges of it are showing his confusion. He knew they were friends, after all. Here probably better than he could know. But at home, he can still remember that Natasha hadn't completely trusted him. Hadn't gotten on their side until the end and Steve really doesn't know what was going to happen next with their group. With them.

Maybe this is going to give him a hint.

"His birthday?" Steve has memories of birthdays past. What would it have looked like, here? "Did you have it on a fun planet or something?"

"Not really. It was quiet, no plans. But it was the first time we kissed." That's a pretty big hint, she thinks. It's also not entirely true, because there had been New Year's Eve before it, but that hadn't been a real kiss. Just a peck. "We had been friendly for a few months. Before that it was more like allies. We got in a routine where I'd sneak onto his ship and leave things behind to prove I'd been there. Testing his security."

Souvenirs. Notes. Bullets in his coffee much. Tiny teddy bears. Whatever struck her fancy.

"For his birthday, I got him a combat knife but I didn't want that to be the only thing he got, so I kissed him." It had made sense in context. Then she'd teased him that since he was turning a hundred, maybe she should do it a hundred times. "We didn't actually recognize the relationship for a few more months. It was just playing around—it was good."

And in retrospect, that's when she thinks she started really getting soft on him.

Steve's eyebrows hit his hairline at the first 'kissed'. At the second, they just stay there, the rest of Steve's face surprisingly blank. He didn't know what he'd been expecting but it hadn't been Natasha and Bucky in a relationship. He didn't even know how to feel about it, given the fact that the Bucky's he knew were both too broken and too different to really gauge comparatively. But it did make sense. The more he thought about it, actually, the more it made sense.

Nat was a spy. Bucky, after Hydra, was almost the exact same mold of Russian killer that Natasha was. Of course they got along and of course Bucky would fall for someone as gorgeous as her. Who could understand what he was going through so much better than anyone else could.

It all made sense.

Steve's face carefully turns up into a smile, eyebrows still trying to find the sky. "Oh," he says, finally, voice high. "Oh. Right. Wow."

He clears his throat and tries again.

"Yeah, that sounds...real nice. I can understand why that would be the time you wanted to get back to."

But after his shock wears off, the realization of what this all means hits Steve between the ribs. Bucky had been here. Had been with Nat and had been here. A different Bucky than the ones he knew now.

Which meant he was gone.

Finally Steve's face stops looking shocked and starts going soft again.

"Oh. Oh, Nat. How...long has he been gone for?"

"A few months. Almost half a year now, actually." Which, as luck would have it, is about how long Natasha has known about what happened back home. Telling James had been one of her last conversations with him.

"He'd been here longer than I had. You wouldn't believe how far he'd come here."

That brings a warm smile to his face, eyes shining just a little at the thought. At the reminder that he had to do it all over. And who knew if he'd manage it the same time. If he'd get to the same place of peace again. Just to have it all taken away.

And then die.

"Tell me about him?"

Natasha smiles slightly at the question, fond and sad in equal measure. "I'm not sure what there is to say. You know him, but at the same time he'd had a chance to heal. I think there way maybe a little more of the man you used to know. At the same time, you can't go back can you? He was strong, and thoughtful, and sad. He was also a nerd—he made me read the Lord of the Rings."

Technically, he read them to her.

"And then sometimes he was a surprising flirt."

The next laugh is watery but fond as well. He smiles, thinking of what that Bucky must have been like. What their relationship must have been like, together. It must be killing Nat to have lost it. Steve thinks back to the moment Bucky fell off the train and wonders if he knows a fraction of what it must feel like.

"He was a flirt. God. He could charm every girl in town. How else do you think anyone agreed to date me?"

The nerd part isn't new either and Steve has to look down at his drink, the memories overcoming him.

"He was never sad, before. Not like how he is, after it all. You probably were what helped him through it."

"I'd like to think so." She'd like to believe they helped each other with it. Sometimes even just by being there for each other when their respective ghosts were particularly loud.

Her drink arrives and she's quick to sip it. Not nervous, but it gives her something to do with her hands rather than fidget or remain unnaturally still.

"I thought you should know."

"I'm not his keeper," he says, sipping his own. "I'm glad that you found someone. Both of you found someone. I can see how you both could be really good together."

Steve thought the same about Bruce, he remembers. Before he'd left. And then Bucky, before he'd left too. How much was Nat going to have to lose before she got something she could hold onto?

"I'm sorry. You deserved better than to have that ripped away." He thinks he knows the answer to this, but he asks all the same:

"How are you doing? Since?"

"That's not why I thought you should know," Natasha tells him. It's hard to put into words why he should. All of the reasons he should. Ultimately, it might be because more than Vision or Thor, she thinks Steve knows what it's like to see someone important with that blank look in their eyes.

Barnes had other friends here. She could probably talk to the Bull about it. He'd offered as much.

But Steve is Steve.

"I'm grateful for the time I got with him. Neither of us thought it would last forever." And she wishes that were the end of her answer, that she really did have her emotions on such a tight lock down that could be the end of it. "Otherwise... I keep going. But it's been hard having him back like this."

Then, after a pause: "Twice."

His eyes don't leave Nat as he considers his next move. Around them is the sounds of talking and laughing. People who can see them and see Nat as she talks about this personal matter. One that Steve can see cut her to the quick no matter how many layers of wax she tries to hide it with.

He throws his drink back. "Finish yours," he orders. "We're gonna go take a walk someplace where we can talk better. Alright?"

It's an offer for privacy thinly veiled. Nat is tough and so is he but tough doesn't mean invulnerable.

Trust Bucky Barnes to have shot both of them in the gut.

Natasha hesitates. There's a kind of safety being somewhere public. It's exposed, but it also removes the temptation to go too deep, reveal too much. She can keep her voice down, put on a stoic face, and avoid talking about anything that makes her too vulnerable. If it's just Steve, then she might let her guard down.

Maybe too late for that, though. That look he's giving her says that even if most people wouldn't see just how thin she's been worn, he has.

He finishes her drink. "A walk sounds good."

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