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video

Who: Undertaker and ERRYONE
Broadcast: All
Action: Goldstone
When: After calibrations/shuffle

[Welcome to the parlor. Or at least, it would be the parlor if it was back in his home. Either of the ones before. For now, it's just Undertaker's modest little abode on the good ship Goldstone, not too unlike many of yours who stand witness to it now. Maybe he'll add to it over time. He has heard audiences like to get to know people, and what better way to do so than to personalize?]

[Alas. Without much means to add such customizations (yet) you get only to see his smiling face, complete with the scar crossing right over it. How's that for unique?]

We're a lively bunch here, aren't we? Starting things off with a bang, visiting people in their past lives with or without them knowing. Just like the good old days, back in the academy. [There's a giggle, one which might or might not put a shudder down spines. He's an... unusual git and he knows it, complete with the mortician's facade and, some might recognize, the overly cockney accent.]

Ah, we're going to get along just fine, I think. Too bad they've not made use of the smarts I was given, [He flicks a hand.] lab support or something other, bandages I suppose. Wouldn't be much use to me anyway, but you'll find me on the Goldstone, should you have need of my assistance. Look for Undertaker.

[And, with a tip of his hat, the video feed ends.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ugh, no, if it isn't a work accent, then it's not as much fun.

Diggin' the whole [He motions to the camera and thus to all of the Undertaker] aesthetic though. Totally jives with him, too. Although he doesn't go by his work title as a name.

Unless that's actually your name and not your job in which case, holy shit your parents needed better naming conventions.

That's a shame. Can't say as I wouldn't have tried it anyway myself, but to each.

[Is it just him or is this person talking to someone else on the other side of the screen at the same time?] Undertaker is what people call me. I'll confess, it's not my given name, but I go by my title if it's all the same to you.

So this is like a Black Spider and Magic Brian sitch? Good to know.

[He just hopes this guy doesn't pull out a giant spider from his ass either and tries to kill him. That part wasn't fun.]

Do you just not like your given name? Or is learning it your, uh, like your friendship quest or something.

[He... doesn't exactly get the reference, but he nods anyway.] It would seem so.

[A small shift and he's leaning a cheek against his palm. In another day and age, he would charge for so many questions, about him in particular, but he'll let it slide for now.] No, nothing like that. The people who knew my name are long dead, and I'd prefer to keep it that way. You may call me Undertaker.

Yeah, sure, no prob, Underthings.

[Because Taako can't go more than oh...two seconds before he tries to annoy someone. And this cockney accent is just too much for him. At least this one is good? Considering it's his natural speaking voice, he shouldn't be surprised, but it's still hard to divorce the sound from Kravitz's dumb work one.]

So are you like, a billion years old or is that "all my friends are dead" thing more recent?

[The misuse of his name doesn't bother him in the least. His life centers on what amuses him and if he can't laugh at himself, he would have gone insane long ago.]

I suppose that depends on which side of my life you look at. It could be a few years ago, it could be a few centuries ago. I just don't know. Is that normal for your kind?

[Damn, no reaction at all? That's no fun.]

Well, seeing as I'm an elf and the two idiots I run with are a dwarf and a human, yeah. Our lifespans are incompatico with sticking it out 'til the end.

[He's hard to offend, given he's usually the one who does the offending. He had noticed the pointy ears and it made him wonder, but he doesn't jump to conclusions in new worlds, not often.]

I see. Would yours be longer than your friends', or shorter? I've heard of elves, though what I've heard might not apply to you.

Whatever you've heard? I'm probably an outlier. None of that fancy prancing around the woods and worshipping, I dunno, the moon? Sun? Trees? Fuck, I have no idea.

[He's been an outcast and on the road since he was 12. If there were any family 'elven' traditions, he certainly didn't learn them.]

But uh - longer, is the answer. Elves live to be around 700 or 800 years on average. Humans are, well, humans and dwarves are closer to 350 years.

[He supposes they all would be in some way if they're here. This entertainment mess wouldn't be successful if they were all terribly boring.]

That does seem to ring with some of what I've heard, at least in the life span. It's a good, long time to spend here, running around, putting up with the wiles of the audience, whoever they may be. Aah, I won't bother with them yet though.

Pfft they'd have to be there first. Some people here? They're not so sure. The Atroma are shady as fuck and some things we've seen here don't add up.

Oh? [Now he has more than his interest, though he wouldn't be surprised in the least to learn of shenanigans in their midst.] Do tell. It seemed off by me that we'd be pulled in for some entertainment fodder and that'd be the full story.

That'd have to be face-to-face, my dude. They're monitoring the airwaves here - all the time. So, y'know, be careful of what you say on or near this thing if you wanna keep a secret.

A solid point. I should imagine for that to happen, we'd need to be on the same ship, yet here I'm not even sure who to search for, if ever I was so inclined.

Well, lucky for you that I'm easy to find. I'm the head chef at the Iskaulit's one and only source for a damn fine meal: the Melting Pot. Come in, ask for Taako, and we can have a nice little chat over, I dunno, whatever it is you like to eat.

Well, and a pleasure to meet you, I'm sure. I can be there any time you like. I'll be the head lab technician on the Goldstone, and I believe you know who to ask for should you be so inclined. What do you offer on the menu? You've my curiosity all over again. [Given the... cuisine he has been used to on his short time in this world, he's not impressed so far.]

Everything that the old proprietor set up on the menu like shepherd's pie, potstickers, challah, waffles, pasta - just about anything.

And? [He smirks.] I can do requests if you give me enough of a heads up and a general idea of the recipe in case it's something unique from your world or whatever. Costs extra, but isn't that little luxury of getting a taste of home worth it?

[That gets a grin from him. He isn't in a position to be frittering away what funds he has, but he's good with money. It won't be long.]

Some of those sound familiar. I suppose with that, you carry a decent variety of drinks to go around with it. Not all adult beverages, of course.

Bars are close by enough that we can get shit sent over if that's what you want. Otherwise, we have the usual selection. Been trying to get better coffee and tea in, but I'm not wasting my spell slots on transmuting that.

[He's already tired enough from all the other things he has to do.]

Can get dessert shakes and other things going though - Mickey's got the cold thing down pat.

[He's not familiar with what is and isn't a "usual" selection in these worlds, even with the augments, but he'll have to find out for himself is what he gathers from this.]

I see. I'm not a fan of the fancy stuff myself. Too much of the higher quality is a bit much for my tastes. I'll have to make a point to stop by one day after my shifts here and see what it's all about.

More of a-- [Fuck, what's a less fancy dish?? -tavern food kinda guy? I can get that, no probs.

[He likes the fancy things because it brings in more money, but he also knows that food is meant to be enjoyed by everyone. Higher quality ingredients, but with simple recipes can sometimes satisfy far more than some dumb luxury dish.]

But come on by anytime. There's usually someone in the kitchen.

[He waves a hand.] Whatever you've got, I'm sure I'll find something I like. Long as it's better than what they've been handing out in those tubes. [That gets a frown from him.] Might as well be toothpaste for all I know.

Ohhhh it is loads better. I wouldn't serve anything that didn't provide a top-notch culinary experience, my dude. I got a reputation to uphold.

[Then the elf already has his interest that much more.] I see. If you should see a boy wandering about, short dark hair, eye patch perhaps, let him know about your establishment. I'd like to see what he thinks about it. Goes by the name of Earl Ciel Phantomhive.

[Taako stops suddenly and then starts laughing.]

Oh my gods, I thought it was weird you'd have the same name. Fuck! Yeah I know the kid. He's already slated to start work here.

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