[ one year anniversary ]

[dothelokimotion]

Who: Loki + You
Broadcast: Video
Action: SS First Breath
When: Today! It's a special day!

( video broadcast )

[ the feed splutters before turning on. loki is surrounded by a whole bunch of boxes. boxes as far as the eye can see. loki has started opening them while the speakers blast this song loud and clear. loki, for his part merely huffs. ]

It seems I have spent a total of a year in this place and the, ah, viewers wish to celebrate. However most of this is useless to me, so I welcome anyone else taking them into their hands.

[ which, ngl, he's into. but the gifts loki has are just . . . baffling. he holds each one up to the camera. we have the mighty thor scooter, captain chickmerica, loki on hotwheels, a masterpiece, plastic horns, disturbing panties and something for "sophisticated men" ]

Please feel free to come by to the First Breath to pick them up.

Also, this has reminded me. Since we are essentially living by this . . . awkward mortal calendar, I have decided I want a birthday. You lot should help me pick one.

[ and get him presents. this is essentially a ploy for presents. ]

Comments

video;

[necromanswers]

[She's laughing.

Yeah that's it. Just this wild, hysterical giggle with zero restraint.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ wow rude. ]

Let me know when you're done.

[necromanswers]

[have you met her?]

Okay, okay, I'm done.

[PFFFFFFFFFFT THOSE PANTIES THOUGH nope gotta laugh for another minute, sorry.]

That's some collection...!

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki huffs. ]

I cannot imagine where they scrounged all this . . . junk from.

[necromanswers]

Oooh, what if they made them? We could have some very creative fans out there! Giving you that... personal touch.

[You better believe she noticed that last one in particular.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ a very disturbing thought. ]

A little too personal, even for my tastes.

[necromanswers]

Yeah, not gonna lie, I'd be a little afraid of touching some of those.

[Who knows where it's been!]

[dothelokimotion]

[ his face scrunches up. ew. ]

Is it always this disturbing?

[necromanswers]

What, sponsor drops? No idea, I've never had one. From what I've seen, it's pretty rare that people ever get one they actually want, though.

[dothelokimotion]

Yes, this seems like an odd collection of . . . goods. Hardly befitting a God.

[necromanswers]

What's a God to a fanboy?

[Apparently not much, judging by the "gifts".]

[dothelokimotion]

Apparently nothing.

"Fanboy"?

[necromanswers]

What, you don't know? It's nothing complicated, just a boy who's a fan. Probably a nerd. Possibly a manbaby.

Your mileage may vary, but if you're rad enough you're bound to meet a few eventually.

[dothelokimotion]

I have never met any . . . "fans" of any kind.

[ thor had fans. loki does not. ]

And I'm not interested in cultivating any.

[necromanswers]

I hate to say it, bud, but you've got a box full of some weird shit that tells me you've cultivated plenty whether you like it or not. And you've got the weird ones, too.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he frowns. ]

I suppose that makes sense. That they would be strange to begin with.

[necromanswers]

I mean, the alternative is that it's normal, everyday Joe Blows watching us lose our godsdamned minds out here and being totally chill about it, and that's kinda horrifying to imagine, soooo... yeah, I'm gonna go with "viewers be wacko".

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki opens another box, skeptically. ]

Honestly, I was not sure we even had viewers to begin with. It seems more of a myth than a fact.

[necromanswers]

Oh, that's for sure still on the table. Your magic package could definitely have come from the Atroma, which is a whole other can of worms to open.

[....]

Heh. Package. Nice.

[BECAUSE THERE'S A DILDO she's never letting him forget.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki shoots her a flat look. ]

I suppose it would suit the Atroma's poor tastes.

[necromanswers]

[She just grins, entirely without shame or regret.]

The fact that we still know as little as we do means we can do all the wild speculation we want. Guess it's one way to pass the time, right?

[dothelokimotion]

Where should we start?

[necromanswers]

Oooh, good question.

How about this: there is no audience... yet. The fleet is secretly a viral marketing scheme to get planets across the galaxy wondering what the heck is going on.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he flashes a grin. ]

Or it is secretly a training simulation for potential recruits.

[necromanswers]

We could be trapped in a horrible virtual reality program, and our real bodies are just plugged in together and drooling in some nerdlord's lab!