losing it hurt the first time

[somakemelaugh]

Who: Undertaker and WHOEVER!
Broadcast: Video
Action: On the Goldstone, in the lab where Undertaker works
When: Naow


The loss of 20/20 vision had been a crippling thing when his life ended all that time ago and Undertaker found himself thrown to the mercies of the afterlife and what awaited him upon his suicide. No one needed to explain it to him then, but it was a form of control enacted by the gods, designed to keep everyone who followed those same footsteps in check. By degrading vision, something people relied on heavily, and giving them a singular means to correct it, the higher ups were assured that those under their employ would follow the rules.

Only they hadn't counted on Undertaker and what he did to bend those rules. Those first few weeks after his escape had been painful, to say the least. First with the injuries that led to his many scars, then to the headaches as he taught himself painstakingly to live without spectacles. Oh, it hadn't been easy, but it had all been necessary.

Now, it was necessary again, and all in the opposite direction. He was well aware of what he had been missing, forcing himself to cope with only half of the sight he should have had, and what he paid for in the wonders around him, he gained independence. Getting it all back, having his sight not only corrected, but improved, now that one hurt. He had tried to tolerate it, tried to fight through it. But it's quite clear to anyone who comes across him or views the footage that he's having a time of it.

Every few moments, he has to stop what he's doing and cover his eyes. This happens several times before he stops completely and feels his way to a seat in the lab and just sits there, face in both hands, and groans aloud where he thinks no one can hear him.

Poor him. If only he knew...

Comments

[somakemelaugh]

[Er. Not quite.]

It's, ah... a bit like that. It's not changing so much as it already has changed. I've had terrible vision most of my life, but now they've gone and made that right again at my request. Trouble is, that's always hard to adjust to. Try looking through the bottom of a glass bottle for a few hours straight and you'll see my meaning.

[scalpelofmarmora]

I think I am beginning to understand then. Your eyesight has already improved, but you are unused to being able to see that much.

[somakemelaugh]

[He lifts a finger and crooks it, almost in a wave.]

Precisely. Always hurts either way. This just hurts more.

[scalpelofmarmora]

I would imagine it would. This way your mind has more to process as your eyesight improves when it used to processing less.

So it was the Atroma who have done this?

[somakemelaugh]

[He would not, but he decides wisely not to do so.]

Just that. But you see, I asked for it to be done. Placed my faith in a world that brought me here for it's own entertainment and profit. What sort of person does that make me? [He giggles, but there's no loathing to it.]

[scalpelofmarmora]

There are worse things to place your faith in. These, while their overall intentions are questionable, at least seem to be willing to provide supplies to keep everyone in good health. Others have asked for stranger things than repairing their eyesight.

[somakemelaugh]

Well, yes. What kind of audience can you keep hold of and profit from if the cast you want to use to entertain them is dead? [Then again, there are worse things than death. The crew putting this whole show on didn't have to keep them whole and healthy, that was true enough.] Might be they're not so bad as we think, but all in all it'll be a small price to pay to be able to see the leaves on the trees again.

[scalpelofmarmora]

Very true. But it seems like there is more than the bare minimum required even if its lacking in some ways. [He's seen worse, been an unwilling part of worse]

Then it is good. It has benefited you in a positive way. That is what is important.

[somakemelaugh]

[Testing himself, he peers out again, but settles a hand over his eyes after a few blinks. Nope, still too weird. He'll have to get used to it, but for now, baby steps.]

Have you ever put a sheet of very thin paper over your face or tried to look through a bit of glass that wasn't quite smooth? That's what the world looked like to me for years. I've forgotten.

[scalpelofmarmora]

I can't say that I have trying to look through a thin sheet of paper, but I have tried to look through things that were distorted. That must have been difficult.

Hopefully it becomes easier quickly.

[somakemelaugh]

[Another giggle.]

Oh, it's not so bad once you get used to it. Losing it hurts less than gaining it back. At least the process then wasn't as abrupt. They don't tend to play around with those augments here, do they?

[scalpelofmarmora]

I will take your word on that. I have neither lost nor gained back my sight. We do occasionally have glitches which run the gambit for what happens.

[somakemelaugh]

Oh? I wouldn't recommend it. If you rely on it, it's hell. If you don't, it's a shock. But tell me, what do you mean, these glitches? Something concerning this fleet? [It wouldn't surprise him if it was.]

[scalpelofmarmora]

So the augments that we have, which is what gives us our various skills, can malfunction and it changes some aspect of us, either mentally or physically. I am a race known as Galra. I was turned human by a glitch. I also had severe OCD and kept disorganizing my ship, much to my shipmate's dismay. Another has been changed into... I believe it was called a mermaid.

[somakemelaugh]

[He giggles again.]

That sounds sinister. Perhaps, in exchange for my renewed vision, I might hide my tools in the lab or put the pillows out in the hallway. Won't I be so very cross with myself when I come to?

[scalpelofmarmora]

It is hard to tell what the glitch might be. Of course, when it is not a physical change, all your decisions seem perfectly normal to you even if they clearly are not.

[somakemelaugh]

I do hope I won't have to go through anything too terrible. This wasn't cheap to begin with and I'd hate to continue paying for it. Though... it might liven things up about this place. Work has been terribly slow in this lab I've been borrowing.

[scalpelofmarmora]

Well, the glitches are essentially free. You don't have to ask anything from them to get it. They do make things more exciting.

To be honest though, I prefer to not have the lab busy.

[somakemelaugh]

But of course I did. I asked for the augment, didn't I? The glitches are just freebies I was never told about before I jumped into that decision.

[Well now that sounded interesting.] Oh? Seen yours busy, have you?

[scalpelofmarmora]

Glitches are also temporary so they would take them back and there is no guarantee you would have gotten something that benefits you in anyway.

I have seen it busy at least on my ship. Not multiple people, but enough.

[somakemelaugh]

No, there isn't. I don't imagine moving everything around for no reason other than it sounded like a good reason would help you if you put something you needed in a place and lost it.

[As amusing as that would be after the fact though. Maybe.] Ah, not something I would envy. It's enough sometimes just dealing with one client at a time and their mourning family.

[scalpelofmarmora]

No, I don't think it would help. That sounds like it would be a terrible way of doing it.

I have never had to deal with a mourning family. There were times though that I think that may have been better.

[somakemelaugh]

[He hums, rolling that around in his head a bit.]

Better than having to find something you've done gone and lost? Do tell. Must be something quite important.

[scalpelofmarmora]

I have not done good things in my life though it was with reason. At least having to deal with mourning families would have meant more... I wouldn't have been doing what I was.

[somakemelaugh]

[Well, there's a telling moment if he's ever seen one. He didn't ask for the information, but it's been his experience that people won't offer something unless they want the story to be told.]

Bit of regret there, I see. I've been no saint myself, but if ever you want to talk about it... My eyes are useless, but the old ears work just fine.