003 - Blingee yourself!

[onlyanapple]

Who: Crowley and you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Pathstone
When: 24th

[Crowley turns on the video with a wide grin. Those who know him well enough would know nothing comes from that grin but sheer, unmitigated trouble. It's the sort of grin that makes the knowledgeable get the heck out of dodge, and fast.]

So. Ino told me to do something useful, so I decided to put something on the network for you all to play with.

[PING and a link appears. Do you want to click it? You know you do. It also has annoying popups, mostly "give Crowley alcohol!!!" or "don't forget your lube!!" but still. Got to make it authentic.]

Now you can entertain yourselves to your little heart's content. Go nuts, kids.

[Encrypted to comms officers- another link:]

Here's the hack-code, if you want to make sure they can't delete the little buggers. Have yourselves some fun.

Comments

[delincuente]

Wait, you're serious? You really did that?

[onlyanapple]

[And, suddenly, there's a snake on the screen. Just like that.]

Serpent of Eden, at your service.

[delincuente]

[She kicks back in her chair, laughing.]

Dude. And all these years I just thought you were just some annoying stockbroker type with a boring fashion sense.

[onlyanapple]

[And ping, he's person shaped again. ]

You take back that fashion sense comment right now, or I'm turning off this feed.

[delincuente]

Okay, okay, I take it back.

[She's not even bothering to sound like she means.]

You look fabulous, dahling.

[onlyanapple]

Good, that's better.

[delincuente]

Awesome. I'd hate to be smited or something.

[onlyanapple]

Oh no, I'm not much of a smiter. That's terribly messy.

[delincuente]

Really? I always thought smiting would just be, like, a lightning bolt. Quick, easy electrocution.

[onlyanapple]

Oh no. Smiting is pretty gross. Lots of bodily fluids flying all about the place. Eugh.

[delincuente]

Ew. Logging that under things I wish I hadn't asked about.

[onlyanapple]

Welcome to Having a Conversation With Crowley.

[delincuente]

That's usually what people say about me. I've just never blown anyone to pieces before.

[onlyanapple]

Neither have I, it's not my style. Once you've seen it, you never want to take part in something like that.

[delincuente]

I'd rather just watch the blood and guts in movies, T-B-H.

[onlyanapple]

I...

I don't understand what those letters mean.

[delincuente]

T-B-H. "To Be Honest".

[The capitalization is practically audible.]

Get with the times. Acronyms are in.

[onlyanapple]

I'll have you know I'm very with the times.

...So long as those times are 1990.

[delincuente]

What, so like Spice Girls and Space Jam? Do you know the Macarena?

[onlyanapple]

Oh yes, please pick the possibly worst things of that decade, go right ahead.

And no, demons don't dance.

[delincuente]

Don't, or can't? And hey, I was eight when the 90s ended. That's the stuff that I was into. That's what the 90s were.

[onlyanapple]

The 90s are also terrible tracksuits and shitty music videos. Can't forget those.

i feel like i need to apologize for alex, and that's how i know this cr is going great

[delincuente]

Oh man, the shitty ones were the best, though. Like the "Blue" video with the weird CGI aliens? And don't tell me Britney's schoolgirl outfit wasn't the best part of 1998.

this si truly the greatest of signs

[onlyanapple]

I haven't got to 1998, who the fuck is Britney? I don't think she's one of mine. Space Jam is, definitely. Had that in the pipeline for a while.

[delincuente]

Teen pop queen of the century. She's definitely one of yours, just wait a few years.