(Video) Looma's mad about something, news at eleven

[tough_love]

Who: Looma Red Wind and you!
Broadcast: Video
Action: Bishop crew
When: Around space noon-ish on the 11th

( Her first sponsor drop, and it's exceptionally useless )

(no subject)

[geonomy]

Who: Clay Terran and You
Broadcast: Yes!
Action: On the Vanquish
When: Now!

[Looks like Clay's in the cargo bay, if the equipment around him says anything. He's sitting on the floor with a crate behind him, a big smile on his face once the feed comes on.]

Hey everyone! [He waves for the camera] How's everyone doing? I know these rumors are, uh... a bit embarrassing, but I know they're all just lies! If you say they're not true, then hey, they're not! In fact, I appreciate you all the more for being able to put up with them like this! I mean, this is space, not high school...

Anyway! The real reason why I got on here. [He holds up a book that was sitting at his side, a book on beginner's astronomy.] There's a small group of us who're looking to open up a school on the Iskaulit, and I'm going to be the astronomy teacher. I encourage everyone, young and old, to take the class; I know some of you haven't even heard of space before coming here, and I'd love to teach you more about it!

What I'd like to know is: If you're interested in taking it, what kind of things do you want to hear about the most? Is there anything about space life that puzzles you? I'd like a good starting point on this, and that'll really help me out a lot! I'll be covering everything, from the basics to something more advanced, so let me know what level you consider yourself, too. I don't want to go over how planets orbit the sun if you're way beyond knowing that!

If you've got any other questions, let me or my assistant, Apollo Justice, know!

[Yes, Apollo, you're his assistant now. No, you don't get to say no.]

Oh, and one other thing! [He gestures to the crate behind him] I got a shipment of, uh... play-doh, recently? I don't need any of it, so anyone want it? I'll gladly share!

[With that, Clay gives another wave, then turns off the feed.

What he doesn't know is that shortly after this, rumors of his own start to appear.]

Clay claims he's human, but he was actually made from clay back on his home world.
Clay recently proposed to space.
Clay's first girlfriend turned into the moon.
Clay's hair isn't natural; not only is it gelled, but it's also white! He's just so ashamed of it he dyes it black.

Video. happy birthday loser

[theroadwarrior]

Who: Max and you!
Broadcast: Video.
Action: Starstruck.
When: April 12th! Max's birthday. :)

(future-dated because I don't know my availability tomorrow lmfao)

[The screen is black.

There's quite a lot of shuffling; a sound of cardboard being knocked on or jostled around. Max's tell-tale hummmmmmm is heard. Footfalls. They walk in a circle around the mysterious box. Tap tap. It's suddenly clear: the video feed is inside a box! And slowly, with great caution, the man clearly identified by grumble as Max Rockatansky opens this cardboard box...

Only to have an explosion of confetti and whistles in his bewildered face.

He disappears from view for a moment, the sound of a gun cocking and going off, probably scaring any poor soul watching. The top of the box explodes with shotgun buckshot, and as he slowly wanders back over, his brow is furrowed and there's confetti on his head, in his facial fuzz. He slowly reaches down into the box... and pulls out a can of dog food. Dinki-Di's. His confusion is palpable. On the screen, where Max can't see, it flashes in bold, glittery letters:



The birthday theme plays on the loudspeakers.

And Max, realizing just what's happening, GROANS IN DISPLEASURE.

For fuck's sake.

As he rips the little camera from inside a box filled with dog food cans:]

[grmblegrumble] Smegheads— [grumble] fuck off— [grumble] head up your ass [grumble] —

[... But you can find him later in the Starstruck cargo bay, spooning dog food from a can into his mouth.

He switches between giving Rock the Dog a spoonful too, of course. He's gotten better about sharing, y'know.]

[Video] Rumors

[passingthrough]

Who: Kitty and everyone else!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Twin Roses
When: Now, soon, wheneverish

[The video kicks on from an odd angle but you see a woman's hands trying to scrap the paint off of a musical triangle. They are silver except for the part where they are covered in tiny pink and red hearts. Love triangles! When that doesn't seem to be working she takes two of them and slides them into each other. Except she does it in a way that break the laws of physics. Solid matter is slipping through other solid matter. Then she removes one of her hands and they simply freeze that way. She picks up another one, continuing her sculpture.]

Hmm? [A hand moves toward the screen as she picks up her communicator, revealing Kitty's face.] Who turned you on? Right. Silly question.

Hi, everyone. I guess the Atroma wanted you to be in on this. Soooo, I have a crate of triangles for all you music lovers or people who might want to repurpose the metal. Let me know.

Oh, and as long as I'm here, the dance studio is officially up and running on the Iskaulit. Or up and just sitting there like studios tend to do. I'll post a sign up sheet on the door with some various types of dance I can feasibly teach. So mostly ballet, modern, and I'll give ballroom a shot since it's going to be the most popular. But go ahead and use the space to practice or perform when there isn't a class going on.

[She means to end the feed there, but a text she had nothing to do with goes out afterward.]

Kitty is actually 10 cats stacked on each other.

Kitty is a ghost—she's dead and she can walk through walls.

Ironically, Kitty likes it doggy style.

Kitty is so tough Chuck Norris is scared of her.

Kitty is secretly growing catnip in the Twin Roses garden.

Kitty is in a love triangle with Winn and C̷̨̞̫̗̭͎̳͉̟͔̍͜h̷̡̡͖̜̉͂̀̎̂͂̂́̀͆̋́́͋͒͜e̴̡̱̱̍̈͜k̶̙̰̜̹̠̤̹̀̋͋̒͐͊̋͋̎̔͘͘͝͠o̶̥̬̖͙̠̞͕͙̦̜̺̰̜̯͙̽̒͑̀̔̉̎͂v̸̢̧͕̯͈͉̥̫̤̪̥̯̍͛̚

[She manages to slightly distort the end of the message.]