When We're Rollin Through the Wild Wild West

[geonomy]

Who: Everyone! EVERYONE!
Broadcast: IF YOU WANNA
Action: Everywhere! EVERYWHERE!
When: Mid-September - Mid-October

[How's your ship doing, pardners? Is it still pretty damaged? Is it glitching out hardcore? Well, there is one place to land to take care of all that, and that's on a dusty old moon in front of a planet that no one wants to go to. On this moon, you'll find a civilization that looks a lot like one's stepped into a wild west movie, hardened cowpolk and mutant horses and all. Will you become a vigilante, hunting bounties and stopping gangs from doing their dirty work? Will you go exploring planetside, with a cowboy hat and a stalk of wheat in your mouth to complete the look? Good luck with that; there is no wheat. This town ain't big enough for all you flooters, but make it so! For the ratings!

In other words, it's a planet mingle! Get 'er done!]

[September Planet info here]

Comments

[thezerothlaw]

[Daneel frowns, very slightly. "Half human" is more than enough to make him protective.]

If you mean yourself, I have to ask if you believe yourself to be truly qualified.

[jamminshield]

I think so! I fight monsters with the Crystal Gems all the time. And I'm good at convincing people not to be bad! So, I think I'm onto something here.

[thezerothlaw]

[He hesitates. This is so, so alarming to him.]

What does fighting monsters typically entail?

[jamminshield]

A lot of punching and a lot of weapons... the Gems do most of the fighting, but I'm still really handy with a shield!

And then, we poof the monsters and bubble their gems!

[thezerothlaw]

I don't believe I properly understand what a "Gem" is. What if you're injured?

[jamminshield]

I can tell you about Gems if you want! I'm half-Gem.

And if I get injured... I think I should be able to fix myself up with my spit!

[thezerothlaw]

With your saliva?

[Well, that's... odd. Is that a thing Gems can do?]

Please, tell me about Gems. I'd like to know.

[jamminshield]

Yep! I have healing spit.

Um... Where do I start with gems? They're kind of like people, but they're also kind of not. They're from another world! And they have all kinds of neat powers.

[thezerothlaw]

Healing saliva could be very useful.

[No matter how... peculiar.]

Gems are not human, nor human-descended, I presume. Are they an extraterrestrial lifeform?

[jamminshield]

It really is! I just wish it would work all the time...

Yep, you got it! They're aliens, but they're good aliens. And I guess that makes me part-alien!

[thezerothlaw]

[Interesting. Genetically improbable, but Daneel doesn't doubt him, either.]

Does this have something to do with your healing saliva?

[jamminshield]

You bet! I got it from my mom. She had healing tears instead.

[thezerothlaw]

And is this a typical ability for Gems to possess?

[jamminshield]

It's... actually rare, I think. My mom's the only person I know who had them. The other Crystal Gems don't have any healing powers at all.

[thezerothlaw]

But you did mention powers. They must have other abilities.

[This is. Fascinating. You have all of his attention.]

[jamminshield]

They do have abilities! Plenty of them. Like, any gem can shapeshift. They're all really strong, and they each have a special weapon.

[thezerothlaw]

[Ah. He doesn't like weapons.]

Do you have a weapon?

[jamminshield]

Yeah! Well, kind of.

It's actually a shield. But that's close enough, right?

[thezerothlaw]

Ah! So you take a more defensive role.

[Good, good. He approves.]

I am... not fond of violence, admittedly.

[jamminshield]

That's right.

I don't like violence either at all, you know. We're two peas in a pod, Daneel.

[thezerothlaw]

[He has to think about that one.]

You mean that we're alike, yes?

[jamminshield]

That's right. We're peace bros! [He holds up his tiny hand for a high five.]

[thezerothlaw]

[That takes him a moment, but he does clue in on what he's supposed to do here. Daneel very gently returns the high-five, as solemnly as possible.]

The First Law of Robotics is that a robot must not harm a human, nor through inaction allow a human to come to harm.

[jamminshield]

[Steven cheers as the fistbump in returns. As futile as it may be, he then goes on jokingly.]

Hey, that sounds a lot like the first law of Steven. But it also applies to animals and gems.

[thezerothlaw]

There are no gems where I am from. I'm sure my programming would have accounted for them if there were.