video ♪ well fuck this

[merchantprince]

Who: Varric
Broadcast: Open a/v on the network.
Action: Anyone on the Marsiva, since he hasn't been shuffled yet.
When: Dec 29th, or so.

[video;]

[The feed, quite frankly, is crap. The communicator's been bumped on midsentence and appears to be capturing video of an empty bunk.]

—e's ass! Where is Bianca?

[There is some mad shuffling offscreen. A door opens, then closes. The shuffling returns, and this time, there is... chest hair? Chest hair. Sorry. He picks up the communicator, examing it and turning it in his hands, and then finally looking straight into the camera.]

I may be the most desirable dwarf in all of Kirkwall, but that doesn't give anyone free pass to kidnap me twice in a row. Come out of hiding, hand over the crossbow, and maybe I'll feel generous enough not to shoot someone in the face on the way out. Maybe.

[His brows knit together. He leans back and rubs at his temple.]

Maker's breath... my head feels like it's full of cotton. Cotton and shit I've never seen before.

Comments

video, sorta;

[catamite]

--Whoa!

[at first it's just audio--the startled voice and then some shuffling sounds. and when the video fumbles on a few seconds later, this feed is also upside-down. and once it's dizzingly handed around until it's properly right-side-up, there's a big-eyed elven face staring from the screen, all piercings and a big, awed smile.]

...Did you say dwarf??

[merchantprince]

[Ah, it's an elf. An elf with piercings. Not terribly unusual, but due to where he's from, he just kind of assumes this is a city elf who has magically never seen a dwarf before. .... Or it could be someone from a whole different world, like that nagging implanted info is telling him.

He smirks back. Varric also has a lot of earrings. He likes gold, too.]

Of course! Only a dwarf could be this manly and survive.

[catamite]

Wow!

[he looks totally and utterly charmed. forget aliens--this has him fascinated.]

A real one? Like... full-blooded??

[merchantprince]

[He glances down at himself. Pokes his chest, for effect.]

Uh... should I be worried about fake dwarves? Do they go around shaving beards and tipping over merchant carts?

[Seriously, he's never had an elf freak out this much about meeting him. Usually they're like, serah, here's a message from the Merchant's Guild for Varric Tethras, and he has to pretend he has no idea who that is, and that's it. That's their conversation.]

I'd be pretty excited to meet me, too, but I think I'm missing some context here.

[catamite]

[the kid seems to have heard about ten percent of that before his own sudden thought crowds everything else out.]

--Oh! Yeah... Aren't dwarves supposed to have big ol' beards? Where's yours?

[merchantprince]

[Ah, yes. There's the shit he's used to. He responds rather dryly:] An elf once told me it fell onto my chest.

[God damn, he misses their old group.]

I heard all elves were supposed to frolic through forests and detest shoes, but that's the thing about stereotypes, kid: they're bullshit.

You've really never met a dwarf before?

[catamite]

[Nel's worldview is sadly one full of so many sterotypes and judgements, he doesn't even think about it anymore. ...he also doesn't think very hard about what he's saying before he says it sometimes--]

They're all dead.

[merchantprince]

[Varric sometimes doesn't, either.]

Well, shit.

[catamite]

[yeah, now he's thinking there might have been a less insensitive way to break the news. oops.]

...Well, I mean. You're here, so... it's obviously not true, I guess?

And I'd always heard, like, rumors that there were still living dwarves somewhere, but I always thought those were like the stories about hillfolk and centaurs, you know?

[merchantprince]

I'm thinking more along the lines of that being your world, not mine. If someone wanted to kill every dwarf in Thedas, they'd die first. There's a lot of short, angry people willing to shiv someone for a half-sovereign these days.

[He crosses his arms, letting the communicator sit on his a nearby table.]

They're always saying griffons are extinct, but you have to wonder.

[catamite]

Oh, right... where are you from? [oh but waiting for an answer is for losers. he's too excited to actually slow down for proper conversational pauses.] There used to be tons of dwarves, like... a way long time ago. Before a bunch of the gods died and all that.

And yeah, griffons, right? I swear I saw a griffon in the middle of the Andolies once, but nobody believes me.

[merchantprince]

Kirkwall. Well, Thedas. That's the world. [This kid.] The elves on Thedas talk about their gods dying too, I think. What is it with gods and dying? A living god would sure as hell be more useful.

I haven't seen one personally, but I heard a rumor about a nest no one will ever find.

[catamite]

Maybe the nest is in the Andolies. [--cue a stupid laugh at a stupid joke that only he will understand.]

And wow, so... you're from somewhere totally different? And there are dwarves there? And elves? ...What about humans?

[merchantprince]

[He's not even going to touch that one.]

I am. I mean, I assume I am, since half the things you say don't make sense, and we're all prisoners on a fleet of huge ships sailing through the night sky. I think the likelihood of everyone being from the same place is pretty low.

[He shrugs.]

But yeah, we have elves and dwarves a-plenty. Humans rule pretty much everything above ground, though. They're not bad... mostly. [He frowns.] Elves really don't have the best lot in Thedas. If you go to Tevinter and you don't have magic, you're a slave. If you're an elf in a human city, you live in the alienage. There are the Dalish, but they don't have a city, just a bunch of forests they wander through. It's... it's not good.

[catamite]

[he only absorbs about half of that, fidgeting with his lip-ring while he thinks. enough of it is familiar to be kind of spooky, honestly.]

Sounds kind of like home.

[annnd then another thought makes him laugh kind of suddenly.]

--Ha, wouldn't it be funny if, like... it was the same world, but you were just from the past?

[yes. hilarious.]

[merchantprince]

... Not sure "funny" is the term I'd use. [He shakes his head.] I'm sorry we even have that much in common, kid.

You deserve better.

[catamite]

[he almost visibly shies away from the sincerity there. he glances away, straightens up away from the camera, keeps up a nice sunny smile.]

Oh, it's not that bad.

There's a lot of people worse-off, so... [and he just shrugs]

[merchantprince]

Yeah, and those people aren't right here, so who gives a damn.

[But he can tell that the elf doesn't really know what to do with that kind of honesty-- he's seen it before-- so he lays off.]

Sorry, you just-- remind me of someone I know.

What's your name, kid? I'm not calling you 'elf'; that nickname is taken.

[catamite]

It's okay. [said so superficial, just perfectly brushing the whole topic off like it never happened.]

Oh, and I'm Nel! It's so nice to meet you.

[merchantprince]

[That's not a good habit, kid. Then again, VARRIC DOES THE SAME SHIT.]

Varric Tethras. [He smiles, and the edges of his eyes crinkle.] Look, I don't know if you drink-- you look old enough, I guess-- but if we're both in a place where there's an actual place to eat, I don't mind spinning a couple yarns.

[catamite]

[Nel is the prince of bad habits, you know.]

I drink! [said in that enthusiastic, 'oh if you only knew,' kind of way.]

And you're, like... a weaver?

[merchantprince]

[What a great pair of sinners they are.]

Good. I think. I mean, good for this anyway.

[He laughs at that, though.] It's an old way of saying I tell stories. I only wish I could sew worth a damn. Repairs cost an arm and a leg after a night on the town.

[catamite]

Ohhh...

[he gets it now. maybe.]

So, yeah! Okay. We should totally get a drink together, yeah.

[merchantprince]

[It's okay, young crack elf. The day is young, and Varric is infinitely tolerant of children. Well. Mostly.]

We should. As soon as I can find a way off this damned ship, I'll let you know.

[catamite]

Ohh, you're still on that big one, huh?

What's it like there?