[text]

[thebarkside]

Who: Jade Harley
Broadcast: Y!
Action: N/A
When: Todayyy

i got a fox on the last planet and hes awesome
his name is newton and hes the cutest thing in the universe i swear


so with that out of the way
HE IS DESTROYING EVERYTHING D:
everything .___.
this is the biggest nightmare ever
dear wonderduck: im really sorry about me and the fox
but especially the fox

Comments

[thebarkside]

wait youre texting me right now
you cant be driving

[feathery]

fu
you already got so much faith in my vehicular management skills whats another driving violation

[thebarkside]

im rescinding your shuttle piloting rights

[feathery]

you cant do that
i outrank you

[thebarkside]

nope
im the pilot
piloting is my thing

[feathery]

still cant blockade me from using the shuttles
seriously theres nothing to even hit in space i can text and drive all i want out yonder in the big black abyss of fucking nothing

[thebarkside]

i should probably go let newton out of your room, huh

[feathery]

im demoting you
isaac can be first mate instead

[thebarkside]

TOO LATE im already staging a mutiny

[feathery]

no way
no ones gonna trust a dog girl who cant even handle proper negotiations with a pet fox
and just teleports it into peoples belongings instead
thats fucking tyranny thats what it is

[thebarkside]

so instead you expect them to trust the dummy who supplied the girl with the fox????

[feathery]

nope i told you earlier
that is a patently untrue fact
slander even
i could sue you for that and libel in accordance to space law

[thebarkside]

omg
im going to go help newt finish trashing your room
see you when you get back to the ship!!!

[feathery]

dude did you seriously put your amphibious fox in my room unsupervised
who knows what weird dead shit he could be chewing on
you dont know where that crusty old arm has been
or
more importantly
where the hell im gonna replace it or the rest of the body

[thebarkside]

urgh nooooo
i dont let him in your room with me anymore anyway
he woke me up from a nap yesterday morning by trying to make me play fetch with something dead :/

[feathery]

what really
was it the frog
i couldnt find the fucked up bunny frog i found in frostball hell

[thebarkside]

i dont know!!!
it freaked me out so i sort of just made it go away
im sure its still on the ship somewhere

[feathery]

with teeth marks in it
man that thing was in mint condition
now its probably
i dunno
ripped up a little and somewhere too moist
where am i gonna get a taxidermied zoological monstrosity to replace it
and dont say i fit that description it looked way more like harry if we got to be real about it

[thebarkside]

i dont think he had time to destroy it
i will find it, davesprite, relax

and you be nice!!!! harry was a good looking guy :(

[feathery]

you could have put harry and john in a room together and the major distinguishing features between them would have been oversized incisors and a cowlick
or lack thereof

[thebarkside]

you could practically say that about me and harry too, though
we both even have green eyes

[feathery]

oh shit youre right
let me count off every single time i got you and harry mixed up from afar
youre nigh identical i cant think of a single fucking thing that made you easier to tell apart

[thebarkside]

i knew it!!
i knew that people had trouble telling us apart
thank you for confirming my suspicions
maybe he and i are secretly related

[feathery]

yeah and draco is my cousin twice removed
who would have fucking guessed

[thebarkside]

omg!!!!!!!
now that you say it i can totally see it :O
you didnt date harry did you