driftfleet | (no subject)

It is . . . most certainly new.

[ He can appreciate that. A new experience isn't easy to come by and while he's not so egoistical to believe he can't be forgotten, he does have a tendency to stand out, even in places as mixed as Driftfleet. ]

But not unwelcome.

I see. Enjoy the novelty of it, then, I suppose.

[There's a bit of formless jealousy to it now as well, which he is keeping a tight lid on. He's not liking how any of this is making him feel, for a myriad of reasons, and he's on his guard.]

And may you find useful answers. [His lips twitch into a brief, wry smile.] And enjoy the pursuit.

Oh, no. I won't be doing that.

[ She's not his Susan. Rekindling that romance in another person is pointless and cruel and disrespectful to them both. He steps closer, looking at Loki. He briefly rests his hand on Loki's chest. ]

Silly boy.

[A slight narrowing of the eyes, but he doesn't move away.]

Then what matter your question?

[Which has left him feeling so exposed. He hates this. Leto's stolen a march on him, it seems. So he's on the defensive, and he's terrible at defense. The best he can really do is be a frozen wasteland about it. It's in his blood, after all.]

I was curious. Love is a passionate subject. People open their hearts to it, one way or another. Hate is, after all, a form of love at its most destructive.

[ He pauses, looking at him. ] I'll not sully what you have.

[He hates Odin still, for all the man's dead. Academically, he knows that hate is love turned on its side, but the knot of anger that still exists within him doesn't feel like that at all.]

An academic curiosity for a being with no heart. [His other favorite lie about himself.]

Hah. I've already doomed myself a thousand times over. Flatter not your own efforts. [Whence the uncharacteristic anxiety here. Being angry and feeling betrayed would be normal, because it is something of himself that feels exposed. Feeling fear that this will be noticed by Rogue is something else entirely, and that he does know to be his own fault for being so flawed from the foundations.]

[ He lets it lie. Only Loki can break his own truths and lies. Leto cannot do it for him. ]

I will take credit when it is due.

[ He presses a light kiss to the side of Loki's mouth. ] Would you prefer I stopped?

[He'd like to resist, but impulsiveness is the marrow of his bones, the contradiction of thinking both only short term and always long-term like breathing. So he can't help but slide a hand through Leto's hair at that, eyes half shut.]

Credit yourself a useful reminder that I cannot trust you to guard me as I would be guarded,.

And it would certainly be wise of me to prefer that.

[Which is not even in the same neighborhood as yes. He's the god of chaos, not the god of wisdom.]

[ He huffs, amused. ]

Then I suppose I'm lucky not to be talking to the God of Wisdom and Good Life Decisions.

[That, he can laugh about as well, and lean his head briefly against Leto's. Because it is ridiculous, when viewed thus.]

Only a fool would place any sort of trust in myself or my decisions.

[Shall he make Rogue into a fool? He doesn't wish it.]

Oh, Loki. You see so much and see it foolish.

[ But foolishness resides in all of them. He runs his hands through Loki's hair, comforting. ]

[It brings to mind his mother's last words to him, of all things, though he hadn't known they would be her last. You're always so perceptive about everyone but yourself.

He sighs, eyes slipping half shut.]

I see the truth and the universe itself is a foolish place.

Is that such a bad thing? Fools tend to be the happiest lot.

While having the least of all reason to be happy.

Nay, I would rather know all and never be satisfied.

[ Leto frowns. He knows all and is never satisfied, but for different reasons. ]

It is a price too heavy for you.

That is not for you to judge, nor choose.

[Odin tried to take his choices away in the guise of being protective. He's severely allergic to it now.]

[ He raises an eyebrow. ]

Since I have chosen it, I am allowed to judge it.

I am not one of your little humans. [You don't get to choose for him.]

No. Nor would I choose for you, but I do get to judge. The luxury of experience, after all.

As you will, then.

[He snorts, hand coming briefly to his forehead. It isn't as if anyone else in his life has ever refrained from judgments. It's one of those things like breathing. At any rate, he knows he's thoroughly lost this encounter, and it's a safe retreat to look at it from that angle.]

You've won the day. Shoo.

[ His expression flickers, almost hurt before it smooths over into his casual nonchalance. ]

As you wish.

[Is that as he wishes? Not in the slightest. But can he have what he does wish? No.

Leto and his bloody questions. He sighs, head leaned back against the tree.]

It is not, and surely you know that as well.

[ He steps back carefully. ]

No. But we are both too old for this song and dance, Loki. Would you prefer it if no one contested you?

One is never too old for foolishness.

[He swallows a flippant answer and actually considers it, eyes closed to slits.]

I might become bored with the winning, after a time.

[Hah.]

And I might forget who I am, without anyone to declare I am not. [The entire being of Loki at this point has been defined by his fight to be himself, whoever that is. All he knows is what he is not, because of the boxes he's refused to be put in.]

That is a fight we all face, but there is more to it than simply the fight itself.

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