driftfleet | And We Danced (Masquerade Overflow!)

original thread here

Of course.

[ she follows without protest, allowing the dwarf to lead her by the hand to their new destination. a part of her worries that she might have said something wrong when asking that question, while another part feels only a strong concern for varric. both emotions show so clearly in those dark eyes, and in the way her leylines flicker. ]

[It's nothing too major, he thinks, and tries to school his expression into something that agrees with those thoughts. He does a pretty good job, too. The noise disappears behind them as he shuts the door, glances around for anyone, and then finally faces Lior.

He lets go of her hand; his palm has become sweaty.]

I haven't been completely honest with you. I mean, I haven't lied, either, but it's something I haven't... talked about. With anyone. And if anyone needs to know-- absolutely needs to know-- it's you.

[ once released, the dark elf moves her hand back reluctantly, intertwining her fingers together in a nervous little gesture. her worry and concern has not ebbed, and the more he speaks, the more prominent it seems to be.

her brows furrow, eyes set on the dwarf. ]

What is it, Varric?

A long time ago, there was a woman. And then there was a story.

[He breathes in, breathes out. Doesn't quite make eye contact.]

We tried to run away together like all rogues dream about, but we didn't make it. Her family had her marry someone else, and I... didn't.

There's never been anyone else. Hell if I know what to do about it, or if it's even smart. [He runs a hand through his hair.] Shit, I'm no good at this. What I'm saying is-- what I'm saying, Velvet, is that I am crazy about you. And I'm worried I'll screw it up because of what happened last time.

[ varric talks, and she listens. her fingers clasp together so tightly her knuckles lighten; and she can hear her own heart beating loudly in her ears. ]

I am so sorry, Varric. [ she whispers instinctively, about to say something else when she realizes where he's going with this. the pounding gets louder — like a drum and it's threatening to deafen her, to mask the words he speaks. but she hears them somehow, loud and clear.

every leyline on her skin is bright enough to illuminate the surrounding area, her eyes wide. she's so stupid that, despite everything they had said to one another, the looks they have given and the feelings she has been suppressing for some time now, she couldn't imagine he would feel that way about her. ]

I — [ she stammers, and in her suddenly flustered state she laughs, not at him... but at herself. ] If anyone were to "screw this up" it would surely be me. [ she admits lowly, shaking her head, a hand reaching up to press against his cheek ]

It has been quite some time since I felt so strongly for another, but there is no denying how deeply I care for you. I did not imagine you felt the same, did not think... [ she didn't think, that was the problem. ]

I am glad, but I... I do not want you to be uncomfortable, of course.

Edited 2016-05-03 06:37 (UTC)

[He shakes his head. He doesn't want her pity or her condolences. He just wants her to understand that he's fucking terrified and he might not be the best choice of companion. Yeah, he's loyal-- it's his best quality-- but you need more than loyalty to make a relationship work.

He doesn't pull away when she places a hand on his cheek. His skin is warm, and he can't help smiling against her hand.]

No, it's not that. Maker, I thought you were about to turn me down. [He laughs nervously.] I'm not uncomfortable, I'm just... afraid. I'm too old to go through that shit again.

I want to say I'd find a way to survive, because I would. I always do. Surviving's not living.

[ she falls silent for a moment, considering. there are so many things that could go wrong here. she could go home, he could go home, and they would leave the other alone for — quite possibly — the duration of their stay here on the fleet. he could find that, once he gets to know her even better than he does now, that she might not be all that he perceived her to be.

and if that happened... she doesn't know what she would do. she doesn't want to lose someone else, doesn't know if her already cracked heart could take it. it's terrifying, but at the same time... potentially pushing him away seems even worse. ]

'Tis always frightening, is it not? Willingly opening your heart to another. [ she tries to keep her eyes focused on varric's face as she speaks, but she seems to be nervously glancing off to the side every few seconds. ]

I know not what the future holds here aboard the Fleet, but I do know that I would never willingly hurt you, or make you suffer the same hardships again. I can promise you my heart, my loyalty, and my fervent desire to stay by your side — and pray nothing tears me away from you.

[He rests his ungloved hand against hers.] I know, Velvet. [softly, again] I know.

[All they can ever do is hold each other and pray. That's what life is like in Thedas. That's just life. If they weren't here, they'd still have to contend with war and famine and all those things that they can't control. And death. Death, the great equalizer. The truth is written on their faces and in the smile lines of their eyes: Varric will only live to be seventy at most, and Lioriley will certainly outlive him.

But no one's aged in the Fleet. Seems impossible. They'll have to deal with the age problem later.]

I don't know how you were hurt before, but I don't want to make the same mistakes they did. You gotta talk to me. And I'll make sure I talk to you. Like tonight.

[ if only it were death via old age that truly worried her the most.

she shakes her head slowly as if to dismiss the first part of what he says. ]

'Twas not them that hurt me, but I, them. [ an admission she had hoped to avoid, but with varric willingly telling her things he had not told anyone else before — she could not think of holding it in any longer. ] There are a few I could mention, but only one I could properly compare to how I feel for you now. His name was Alairr, he was my knight, my protector. I did nothing to help him when he had done so much for me. I loved him and I led him to his death. Him, and so many others.

[ her gaze has averted completely now, dark eyes focused instead on an adjacent wall. ] I could not bear to do the same to you.

[Varric is quiet as she tells her story, but when she's done, he scoffs. It's a rough way to end the silence.]

That doesn't sound very much like you. What, did you tar the man and throw him into the fire? Slip him some arsenic with his evening wine? You might be an adventurer by trade, but you're not a cold-blooded killer. You're a woman with a guilty face and a bleeding heart.

[His tone is mild, his expression understanding.]

Bad shit happens all the time. It happens to good people as much as it happens to bad people. It's got nothing to do with faith or piety or how influential you are-- it's just luck.

No! I — [ hearing someone else say it seems to shine a whole new light on the situation, makes her second guess everything she has told herself for centuries. she hadn't intentionally hurt her friends or sent them to their deaths knowing full well what would happen, but she did bring them all together on that journey — asked for their help and repaid them with nothing but an abrupt ending to their lives.

and here she was, living without them, making friends here in space and even daring to think she could move on. ]

'Tis luck, then, that strikes down all those that I care for, simply by being in my presence. Would you dare to test such luck now, Varric?

[His lip curls.]

My lady. Is that a dare?

[He places both hands on her shoulders, though not in a controlling or rough way. He's always gentle, especially now. Lior needs a guiding hand-- not an aggressive one.]

I've weathered assassins, violent critics, the Merchant's Guild, demons, darkspawn, dragons, ancient deathtraps, invasions, and my own lyrium-crazed brother trying to kill me. I think I can handle whatever comes from associating with you.

[He leans in just a little.]

Never bet against a dwarf.

Edited 2016-05-04 04:06 (UTC)

A dare? Surely not. [ that question had been completely serious, and she looks just as serious as her tone implies right until she feels his hands on her shoulders. she turns to face him fully once more, eyes darting to his lips when she catches sight of that grin.

she expected a reaction — but from her wide-eyed stare and flickering lines, this was surely not what she had in mind. he's accepting it, seemingly anticipating whatever danger her terrible luck could potentially bring him. varric will never cease to amaze her.

there's so many things she wants to ask now — most of which pertain to the colorful list of things he just named, things that he supposedly faced down and still managed to get back up and be who he is now. but her focus remains solely on the closeness, on the last words he speaks. the elf finally breaks her own mask of sadness and uncertainty and laughs, embarrassed. ]

I should have learned that lesson when I played those card games with you, hm? [ she smiles a smile more genuine than many others she had worn before, both hands resting on either of varric's arms, she leans in just as close so their foreheads touch. ] If you are willing to see this through together, then so am I.

Yeah, you should have.

[He looks down, unavoidable when their foreheads are touching, and has to coach himself to meet her eyes. He's not a fifteen year old boy going on a date for the first time. He's forty. Still, the way his heart jumps around in his chest certainly makes him feel twenty years younger.]

Wherever it takes us.

[It's so easy to tilt his head beneath hers and press their lips together, and he marvels at how natural it feels. Maker, when was the last time he kissed a girl? Why didn't he do this sooner? It seems so stupid in hindsight.]

[ if it makes him feel any better, she is five hundred years old and she feels like a schoolgirl confessing to her crush — butterflies in her stomach and all. but it's nice to feel it, she thinks, nice to not fear the emotions that well inside her as she relishes in the sensation of being so close to him.

the kiss comes as only a very mild surprise now, and only the faintest hesitation. a tilt of her own head, a hand on his cheek and the other on his shoulder as she closes her eyes and returns it. ]

[She's soft and warm, just like he imagined, but he's wary of lingering too long. He breaks the kiss-- smoothly, without any nose-bumping-- and looks at her.]

It's been a while since I did that. Far longer than I'd like to admit.

[Something in his heart is eased with the resolution of their tension, though that will surely give rise to ten thousand other worries in a little while.]

[ she leans back with an almost wistful sigh, relishing in warmth that lingers on her lips. ]

I fear I must admit the same. I hope I did not disappoint. [ she laughs, rubbing her thumb over varric's cheek before she finally lets it fall down and away from him. now, she dares to ask: ]

Should we return to the ball, or...? [ she's... not sure what to do now, honestly. ]

A little is better than nothing. [ she would prefer the other woman feel a lot better, but surely that would come soon enough (ha). ]

Though it may be difficult, I am sure you did as well. You should know by now that if you need anything, or anyone to talk to, you can come to me, yes?

[Keep dreaming, Lior.]

I... thank you. Really. I know we don't know each other terribly well, but you've been very kind to me. And Alistair. So thank you.

And We Danced (Masquerade Overflow!)

Lioriley OTA + continuations

VARRIC

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knees weak, arms spaghetti

there's vomit on his spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti

bUT HE KEEPS ON SPAGHETTI also im screaming

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RIONA

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