Tourist ROAD TRIP (mingle)

[takingkarabusiness]

Who: Touristas and visitors
Broadcast: as needed
Action: The Tourist!
When: The month of June

[ Get bit by the June Bug and mingle to your heart's content! ]

Comments

[winn]

[ he sucks in a breath - and lets it out, trying to get rid of the tension in his body. he then proceeds to lock the drawer, and put the key away before turning to face her. ]

No, you didn't say anything. I just - [ how can he explain to her that he just doesn't feel like he has the right to talk, because what he's struggling with, it's so small in comparison with the burdens she, kara, cisco, jim, everybody's carrying. he knows what he'd say to anyone else who'd come up with that argument, and he knows he'd be right, but his logic is useless against himself. and he's spent too many years hearing that as the son of the monster, his feelings aren't just inconsequential - they're a burden, they're undesired, they're not allowed to be shared. he sighs. ] Let's go back to the room. [ he knows she won't let this go, but at least it'll buy him a minute to try and come up with something. ]

[passingthrough]

Yeah, of course. [He's right. It's not dropped. It's not gone, but it would be better to do it resting next to him with her arms around him in his room. The safest space they have. She puts an arm around him and thinks to button another of those buttons on her—well, his—shirt.]

[winn]

[ he wraps an arm around her in return, and turns off the light. ]

Hey - rescue me from stabbed toes? [ he wants her to smile, and he knows the best way to do that right now is to get himself smiling, so he tries to get excited about the most exciting thing he has available - her. and specifically at the moment - how awesome and fun her powers are. ]

[passingthrough]

[She nods against him and they phase through the wall, making their way back to his room. Back to the place she woke up to find the cold place on the bed where he was missing. Where she thought she'd lost him. She doesn't smile. She just holds him closer.]

[winn]

[ he holds onto her tight as they do, and kisses her forehead when they get back to the room. everything feels so tense right now, and he just wants it to stop. ]

That will never not be awesome.

[passingthrough]

[She likes how into her powers he is. That he doesn't seem afraid of her. But right now it feels a little forced to her.] You don't have to do that. You don't have to be on for me.

[winn]

I don't have to, it just happens.

[ no really it's a serious problem. he doesn't know how to turn this off and just talk about what's bothering him unless he's been pushed past his limit. of course, the way he says it is with a fond smile and a squeeze of her shoulder because - serious problem. ]

[passingthrough]

[Oh, Winn. She isn't buying it. Or, she is. It's just making her sad.] I know. [She leads him back into his room and lays down on the bed, making room for him.]

[winn]

[ he curls up next to her, pulling her into his arms. ]

Hey. [ he hates that he's making her sad. this is what he means by not good enough. he's messed up too. ]

[passingthrough]

Hey. [She nuzzles in against him.] Tell me about it?

[winn]

[ he's quiet for a moment. the main issue is hard to explain, and he isn't sure he understands it himself either. so instead, he goes for another symptom. ]

Last month, this kid got to the fleet. Luke. He was sick. Really - creepy weird - terminal magical illness. I was gonna help him, try to figure something out hook him up with people who know magic here, maybe explore local tech, future tech, other worldly something -- he trusted me. And then he disappeared. [ and as painful as that is, as much as it haunts and hurts him, it's nothing compared to what it would feel like if he failed kitty. ]

[passingthrough]

You can't save everyone, Winn. [She kisses his forehead softly.] And he could be somewhere now where he still has a shot at it.

[winn]

I hope so.

[ he's worried that he won't be able to save anyone. ]

[passingthrough]

[Yes, say those words without the brackets now. Come on, Winn.] How does it make you feel?

[winn]

[ oh god, is he in therapy now? ]

...useless?

[passingthrough]

[She doesn't mean to make him feel like it's a therapy session, but she doesn't want to assume he feels the same way she would in that situation. She hugs him tighter.]

You're not. You're the furthest thing from useless. I don't know what I'd do without you. [Search the ship in her underwear apparently.]

[winn]

But it's true, Kitty. When it came down to it, there was nothing I could do. Or if I could - I just wasn't smart enough to think of it.

[ but he'll cling anyway. he doesn't deserve the comfort but he wants it anyway. ]

[passingthrough]

Am I useless because I can't convince my boyfriend he's valuable and wonderful even though it feels extremely obvious? [She's not pitying herself here. Just trying to show him the logic.]

[winn]

That's playing dirty.

[ he admitted he's a hypocrite to himself a long time ago. ]

[passingthrough]

One of my favorite ways to play. I know me telling you something different isn't going to change the way you feel magically. I just want you to know how important you are to me. To so many of us. You don't have to be doing something or fixing anything for that to be true. You make me feel connected. I don't want to lose that because you're hiding how you really feel or because you've passed out from exhaustion. Not that you're well being is 100% about me. [There's a light smile.]

And I'm sorry for overreacting earlier.

[winn]

[ he can't help it but laugh softly. ]

People keep telling me that. Guess my listening skills are pretty selective.

[ he gives her a soft kiss. ]

It's alright. I would've been worse, probably.

[passingthrough]

Practically your superpower.

[She smiles at the kiss.] Hey, think you could leave me a sign that you're okay if you need to do it again? [She's hoping he won't keep it up, but he's an adult who can live his life too.]

[winn]

Yeah -- yeah I can absolutely do that.

[ he should have thought of it himself. must be his sleep deprivation affecting his brain function. guess jim's right. ]

[passingthrough]

[She gives him another soft kiss.] Thank you.

Who knows about your project to get us to National City?

[winn]

Kara. And Jim probably, we've talked about ways to open inter-dimensional breaches, so. Cisco too. [ kara's the only one he specifically talked to about the endgame but the others can probably infer. ]