driftfleet | [Open Moons Mingle Log]

[Shirley opens her mouth to reply, then stops. There's a pause before she speaks again - more carefully this time.]

And how are things with Nel?

[Yeah, she hasn't forgotten about that.]

[aw, and here he thought he might get a break... there's barely a change in his expression, though. he's still in a bizarrely good mood.]

Things are rough, but I've done what I needed to do. It's a lot of hoping, at this point.

...Good. I haven't seen Nel yet, but I'm keeping an eye out for him wherever I go.

[She promised, after all. But thinking on their last conversation, Robin seems to be acting a little strangely compared to what she would have expected.]

You're not worried about him?

Oh, I'm very worried about him. [his smile remains, though it gets a little sad...] Always.

Oh.

[She can work out the rest for herself. Yeah.]

...When I see him, is there anything in particular you want me to look for? You would know him better than I do.

[he shrugs. he's got a whole list of things, actually--dozens of little signs, nicks, traces of bad nights and shitty sleep and blatant misery that he wishes he could watch for. but he can't. and he doesn't want to burden Shirley with that.]

Mostly just if he looks like he's having a hard time or not. He's just like anyone else... You probably know what a bad week looks like.

Yeah. I do.

[Shirley nods, thinking of her friends at home and the things she's seen them go through. That only adds to her resolve to find Nel - she wants to help, and she can't help if she's always missing him. Where to find him, though...]

And do you know what kinds of places he might like to be?

[he laughs, suddenly--] Opium dens and nightclubs, if we're being honest. You'll have better luck looking for him in clothing stores and parks, though.

Um...

[She's not really sure what to say to that.]

Right. I'll be sure to look around.

Hey. [he pats her shoulder.] Don't stress yourself out, okay? It's just if you happen to see him.

[She shakes her head.]

I want to try. I want to make sure he's all right, or at least make sure he won't do anything he'll regret.

[A beat.]

That goes for you too, you know.

For me? [that's... maybe in any other mood he would take this poorly, but something about the chemicals buzzing around in his brain make him want to believe her.] That's kind of you.

Like I said before, I've had experience. Me, and my friends from home...since I met them, we've all needed to do things like that for one another. I think that goes for people here as well.

[Is that counting Robin as a friend? Maybe, maybe not.]

Oh, Canary... [he seems a little wistful, but it fades as he looks at her... he puts his hands in his pockets, but his face stays very open. very honest.]

I don't know if you trust me, after all of that, but... I would be happy to do the same for you, should you ever ask.

[Trust - yeah. Shirley's learned a lot about that. She nods, with a set firmness to her expression.]

I think can trust you, but if there's anything like--like what happened with Nel, that might be bad...it doesn't have to be now, but I'd rather know sooner or later.

[She softens there. Not easy to throw stones here, after all.]

It's hard, but it's better than not saying anything. Senel, my friend...I once found out he was hiding something from me at a bad time, and I lost the courage to trust him when I should have. It's something that both of us regret.

Ah...

[Tek comes to mind. Crow comes to mind. there's a great deal about himself and his friends and his past that could potentially come about and make people very upset. it's a little absurd that someone would just... ask him to talk about it, though, and absurd that he'd consider answering truthfully. a couple of years ago he would have threatened her away from the very notion.]

You know, it's a funny thing... [he tilts his head up, looking up at the sky above them. it's nice, on this moon--the weather. warm, clear. it'd be wonderful to fly through.] I had a friend who tried to tell me I should talk about myself more, be more honest and open. She left a while ago, but I haven't quite been able to shake the memory of it from my mind, since then...

It...it's good.

[Robin may not be able to see but she's smiling to herself now, thinking of the friends she's made and everything they've been through. Talking about feelings with Chloe, seeing Norma achieve her dream, helping Jay accept his family...all of it, important.]

It's not always easy in the moment to be honest, or open up when you're afraid. But once you've done it, everything comes so much more naturally.

[that makes him laugh. it's hard to tell... if it's a good laugh or a bad laugh. it sounds strange, like even he isn't sure whether to be pleased or doubtful. embarrassed, maybe.]

I feel very shy.

Ah...

[Yeah, that's understandable actually. Her work aside, Shirley isn't the most outgoing of people either.]

How about I tell you something first? It would only be fair.

[okay, he laughs again--but this time it's because it's funny.]

Right now? Ah... All right, but I bet mine's going to be the tougher secret to swallow.

...

[Way to make a girl feel good, Robin.]

If I wanted to, I could kill most of the people in the world I come from. I nearly did just that, and I would have if my friends hadn't kept trying to stop me. If I hadn't trusted them at the very last moment. If it weren't for that, all the Orerines would be dead by my power.

[Shirley lets out a long sigh, glancing down and pulling absentmindedly at her skirt, but it's not as troubled as Robin might expect. She's wrestled with all that already, so that her resolve holds even when her shame lingers. She looks back at Robin, dead serious.]

That's why I can say the things I do now. I don't want to let others keep falling into the same mistakes I did, and then regret what they've done.

[...to be fair, he takes this very well. he looks a little surprised, perhaps, and she's certainly giving him a run for his money in the severity of this secret, but... overall, he almost keeps a smile on his face. seems very calm. there's something going on behind that gaze of his, but it's hard to tell what it is.

he's got questions, of course, but he doesn't say any of them. that's not what they agreed to.]

All right. [he nods once, at least taking things seriously himself.] Here is mine: I'm an ancient, immortal avatar to the Gods of my world, and hold dominion over the pain and suffering of all who live there.

[The scale of the revelation doesn't shock her so much as the relation to Robin himself. Shirley's eyes widen, and without thinking she whispers to herself.]

Like Schwartz...

[But of course he wouldn't know who Schwartz was.]

We fought somebody like that once. She was the incarnation of human weakness, and encouraged people to accept nothingness as an escape from suffering.

["Do you do that?" she almost asks - but that's a little too much like judging him, which isn't the point of her asking.]

Edited 2015-03-09 07:52 (UTC)

[that finally gets him to frown a little, settling into thought. he brings his hand up to fidget with an earring. this information is somehow more bothersome to him than her previous confession.

she doesn't need to ask the question. he gets where this is going, and shakes his head.]

No. I don't do that. Suffering is a necessary part of the world, just as important as joy and comfort.

[Shirley's quiet for a moment, and then she nods.]

That's what we thought, too. "It is because joy and pain exist that people are swayed by emotion." It's...Schwartz's opposite told us that. She was a dear friend.

[Grune. Shirley closes her eyes for a second there, missing the woman acutely, and lets the pain wash away naturally. Grune wouldn't want her to be sad, so she smiles instead.]

How strange, that you would sound more like Grune. You certainly don't act like either of them.

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