(no subject)

[robitussin]

Who: natalie goodman
Broadcast: yes
Action: she'll be on the planet and the pathstone if anyone wants action!
When: 6/27

so i passed out for like literally a week and apparently woke up in hell because i went to check out this new place and everyone keeps trying to hold my hand

question 1: why

question 2: what did i do to deserve this

discuss

Comments

[robitussin]

i can call them

[winn]

please do.

[robitussin]

cool all good then

anyways did anything big happen this week other than the whole planet thing

[winn]

planet's been the headliner far as I know

[robitussin]

guess it's time to cut off my hands

[winn]

that'll just land you in more uncomfortable hugs.

[robitussin]

source?

[winn]

common sense+trying to walk around with hands in pockets. you have nothing to defend yourself with.

[robitussin]

incorrect

i have the sheer force of my rage

[winn]

and it's obviously very effective, if you're considering amputation. pretty extreme move for someone who hates doctors.

[robitussin]

why would i go to a doctor to chop off my hands

they would just say no

[winn]

well it's not like they know what they're talking about or anything!

[robitussin]

if this were a video i would be doing that thing where i tilt my hand back and forth to indicate uncertainty

in short: ehhhh

[winn]

if this were a video I'd be doing that thing where I give you a I-judge-your-life choices look.

in short: :|

[robitussin]

yes

because i was being extremely serious when i said i was going to cut my hands off

no sarcasm at all

[winn]

shh, you're spoiling the banter.

[robitussin]

right sorry

note to self don't break character

[winn]

rule number one of reality tv: nothing can ever be real.

[robitussin]

do you think if we ever started bullshitting less they would like cut off our coverage

space ceo's like "you're not making people laugh anymore"

[winn]

hey, worth a shot! got anything you wanna get off your chest?

[robitussin]

first i want you to guess like a percentage of how likely it is that i'll answer that question honestly, given the fact that i am allergic to feelings

[winn]

let's see, divide by a hundred, carry the never-gonna-happen... about...0.1%?

[robitussin]

your calculations would be correct

but if the reverse is true, shoot

[winn]

I don't shoot, I'm schott

[robitussin]

you don't know how tempting it was to just not respond and pretend that pun never happened