driftfleet | Video

Who: Anders, a kitten and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Planetside. Probably among the trees.
When: A couple days after this post. That's right, this means war.

[Anders has something very important to say. Terribly important.]

It's been brought to my attention that the fleet has been suffering under a loss of fuzzy animals, although that's quickly being fixed with all these fuzzy slugs. But more importantly, there's one fuzzy animal that deserves appreciation, something my dear friend, Lady Cousland reminded me of.

[The camera tilts down to show a small tabby-orange kitten playing in the grass and leaves on the forest floor, stalking some bug or another, but never drifting too far from Anders' side.]

This is Ser-Pounce-A-Lot, the cutest kitten in the world. Aren't you the cutest kitten in the world? No mean dog is better than you, isn't that right, Ser Pounce?

[Completely unashamed of the baby-talk he just dissolved into, Anders puts his hand out for Pounce to jump onto his arm and up to his shoulder, purring and rubbing his head against Anders' chin.]

He's also incredibly intelligent and he knows it.

[He holds up a hand up to the camera.]

Please, hold your applause, I know this sad fleet has been kitten-starved. You're welcome.

[Is he serious?

You bet your ass he is. Right down to the baby-talking a kitten. Shame? He doesn't know the meaning of the word.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't know if he's the cutest in the world.

[ And Hermione holds up her own giant ginger fluffball, fighting her smile. ]

Snap?

[u wanna go bruh

U WANNA FUCKIN GO]

Mean? And whose dog would you be referring to?

[Step carefully Anders.]

Also, while I'm sure he's quite smart, mabari have cats beat in that area.

Edited (forgot a part oops) 2016-07-05 19:54 (UTC)

Wonderful. Now you'll be twice as insufferable as you usually are.

[Fenris can you maybe not be a spiteful bitch to him like, once? ]

And Riona is right. Mabaris are much better companions.

Edited 2016-07-05 19:54 (UTC)

[BRING IT Queen of drool-bags!!]

There are mean mabari! They're war hounds, it's what they do!

And surely not yours, my dearest lady. He seems...decent enough for a dog.

Well, he's certainly the smallest.

[But he does coo at her ginger fluffball. All cats are precious, after all.]

He's so cute! How do you manage all that fur, though?

[Anders obnoxiously makes certain the camera can catch as he boops noses with his kitten.]

Don't you listen to the mean elf, Ser-Pounce-A-Lot! He just doesn't have any taste.

[Now he glances over at the camera like the snarky bitch he is.]

Which is clear to anyone.

I think we might be running a tied race.

[ Crookshanks wiggles in her hold and moves to shove his face into her neck. It's ticklish. ]

He takes care of it alone for the most part, I just have to make sure it doesn't knot. It'll be easier once he's grown up again.

I'm glad someone agrees with me. [+15 Friendship points for you, Fenris!!] They're loyal, good beasts who only ask for love and belly rubs in return.

Are you saying the Warden Commander has no taste, either, then?

[You wanna go, Anders? YOU WANNA GO?!! ]

Decent? Maker's breath, Anders. Do you really not know better than to half-ass a compliment to a Fereldan's mabari?

[She's just as nutty of an animal parent as he is, truth be told. She's just better at hiding it. Mostly.]

They're only "mean" in battle. And I doubt you're a sweetie pie when you're hurling fireballs at your enemies.

[Awww yeah, Friendship points! ]

Certainly. They are noble, too, given their history.

Indeed. I'm curious, what do you know about the mabari? Most of their stories aren't particularly common outside of Ferelden.

[OH YES GOOD, HIS FAVOURITE MABARI STORY. Right in Anders' post, too. Suck it, cat-lover. He sounds SO PLEASED.]

Well. Were you aware that they originated in Tevinter? They came with their masters when the magisters invaded the South. And then defected to the Ferelden's side.

You're probably right. I can't, in good conscience, claim one cat is better than another. They both win.

[He smiles at the display and Pounce decides it's a good idea to bat at his earring before jumping off his shoulder to hunt something else.]

You said 'grow up again.' Riona's dog came to her as a puppy when it had been fully grown before, is that the case for your cat?

I would never say that! She's nothing but a gem, a gem set into the shape of a mabari hound, granted.

[Listen to that suck-up. He loves Riona, he does...he just doesn't love that puppy.]

It's just you. You're a party of one, you and your tastes.

I'm always a sweetie pie, I'll have you know.

And it wasn't half-assed! I meant it. He's smart and I'm sure he'll be a ferocious beast someday.

He just drools too much. It's messy.

Edited 2016-07-05 23:00 (UTC)

In Ferelden they're often said to be descended from the wolves that followed the hero, Dane. But that's a myth, more or less. Likely, they did come with the magisters. Their intelligence and size must be from some magic in the blood.

[She glances over at her own hound, who's currently curled up into a ball, sleeping on her bed.]

While I revere Dane like any good Fereldan, there's something enjoyable about the thought of them turning on the magisters. Would also explain why this one was so keen on taking a bite out of the last one we saw.

That's your complaint? Drool? Puppies do not drool that often. Even so, I'd take that over the smell of cat piss any day.

Good dog.

[He means that with all his heart. Murder all of them. Except Dorian. Probably. ]

But yes, I like the thought they disliked the magisters so much that they would turn on them and join with the 'barbarians'.

And yet her tastes mirror my own. She clearly prefers her hound to your...cat.

[Whatever, loser, your cat's still weird. ]

Looks like we have a new crew member then. Welcome Ser Pounce. No sleeping in my laundry and I think we should be fine.

I'm going to have to go with the Warden-Commander on this one. I much prefer a Mabari who minds commands and gives back as much affection as he's given than a cat who's greatest joy in life is planting itself directly in the middle of anything you happen to be reading or headbutting the privy door open when you're trying to do your business.

[Things their old Tom had done, back in Orlais. Things Hawke hated and complained about often. Things he sometimes misses now.

Hawke scratches at his beard, peering at his screen with interest anyway, despite his pronouncement about dogs versus cats. Anders had talked of Ser-Pounce often and to finally see the cat is another window into parts of Anders' life that Hawke hadn't been there for.]

He is a handsome animal though, I grant you. Even if he turns you into a gibbering fool.

[A grin, clearly the insult meant in jest.]

You're making me regret agreeing to go to that tree with you.

_{[ Because oh my god, Anders, really? ]}

Great minds think alike.

[ At least Crookshanks doesn't mind cuddling up to her too much, and Hermione doesn't do much more than stroke at his ears gently. ]

He was a few years older when I last saw him, but I suppose the tree worked it's magic and made him a kitten again. It just means I have to work a little harder to keep an eye on him.

Took a good chunk out of him, too. But that's what you get for trying to enslave an entire alienage.

[And then some. Like a sword through the gut.]

I wonder: do you think the mabari's ability to choose a master and sense their worth was something the magisters were deliberately going for, or something that unintentionally developed?

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