lord_wizard: (spooked)

[personal profile] lord_wizard 2016-09-27 01:02 am (UTC)(link)
[He doesn't, really, but Crowley has a right to knowing anything he wants just as the reverse may be true. He laughs, but the sound is distant and empty]

Which part of it? You know more about me and than most, and yet I still have my share of lies. The abomination of a spell I cast on him? The fact that I desired him? The reason for his loyalty? If you want to know I'll tell you. All of it...

[He rolls his shoulders, however, not entirely content with this slight evasion. It felt like a cheat to dance around it when the Circle had heard more truths from his own lips than even the demon had. When he finds himself still speaking, he decides that maybe he does]

There was a reason my brother was always close by in the castle. That spell made it necessary. It made us each other's protectors but only by way of slavery. And I have always regretted it. I regretted at the moment I cast it, at the same moment I turned it against him and not for the first time. But never as much as I should have.

He was right, I think. With the obligation d'âme he could not have come with me, and I believe both of us would have ended up dead before long.
onlyanapple: (Have a light)

[personal profile] onlyanapple 2016-09-27 10:56 pm (UTC)(link)
All of the above? None of the above?

[He doesn't want to push Felix into anything he's unhappy about. He won't be that person. Still, Felix speaks, and Crowley listens. He likes to think he's come to know Felix pretty well, despite how well the man keeps his cards close to his chest. ]

You had to pick the lesser of two evils.

[Because if there was one turn of phrase that defined large chunks of Felix's existence, it would be that one. He'd known, without being told, that Felix regretted what happened- but he also knew that Felix would have still done it if it meant ultimately saving someone he cared about.

Felix wasn't exactly selfless, but he always did what had to be done, even if that thing wasn't palatable to most.
]

It wasn't the most comfortable or kindest solution, but it's the one that kept you both alive.
lord_wizard: (shadowed)

[personal profile] lord_wizard 2016-09-30 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
And yet few people wasted time in berating me for the action. It was always a situation I took advantage of, or there was another path I could have chosen. Everyone...except Mildmay...and you...have cast even the smallest bit of blame.

[He might have cast less on himself had he never used the bond beyond it's use as a legal loophole to save his brother from death, but it had not turned out that way, and there was never really any hope of that being the end of it.]

I don't know who, if anyone, is right...[His voice cracks a little]...but I still would not change it. I suppose...the same way I would not change this.

[Bringing them here had brought both of them pain, but these truths feel worth the price.]
onlyanapple: (Demon's don't get embarrassed nope)

[personal profile] onlyanapple 2016-09-30 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, well. It's easy to judge when you don't have to make that choice yourself. That wagging finger of blame is much less sharp when they have to step into your shoes.

[The truth was important. A step forward. Cementing something that probably should have been a while ago. His smile softens a touch.]

Me either, in all honesty.
lord_wizard: (neutral)

[personal profile] lord_wizard 2016-10-04 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
[Felix let out a breath and simply nodded, relaxing by a few degrees. Something had been ripped free for both of them, but it felt to him that everything that could be said had been.

He glanced back towards the way they had come, brushing his pocket again unconsciously. The feel and outline of a book was hard to mistake, but finding out which one was something he decided to leave until he returned to the fleet.
]

It will be getting dark soon...
onlyanapple: (Collar turned up high)

[personal profile] onlyanapple 2016-10-04 08:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[Crowley turned his gaze skyward, letting out a steady breath. Okay. Time to put the peices back together. Back to normal.]

And I have a bottle of Red in my bar with my name on it. Best get back.