driftfleet | February Windrose mingle

[Winn, please.]

Look, I'm sorry, okay? We can throw it out. [She was worried it wouldn't go well and unsure if she even wanted to, thus putting it off this long, but she didn't expect him to look at it that way. She finds it disappointing and she's not sure why. Maybe just feeling foolish about it now. It's not a feeling she handles particularly well.]

[ that's not fair. that's not fair because he can't handle a disappointed kitty, not when he's the cause. he hasn't even had the time to wrap his head around the toy itself when its origin started freaking him out and now she's disappointed and a part of him wants to just tell her yes okay he'll do it just don't look sad, not because of him.

his legs feel weak, so he sits on the bed, pulling her with him. ]

You really want this. [ softly. he doesn't know how to feel. he doesn't trust the atroma, he hates to give them what they want, and he doesn't even know how he feels about it regardless of them yet. kitty's feelings seem easier to figure out. then again, she had more time to work them out, and it's not her identity that's going on a roller coaster here. ]

[She definitely doesn't want him doing something like that out of guilt. She curls up against him on the bed, holding close.] No. No...I just didn't want this to go like this. I shouldn't have won it. I should have just talked with you then. [Then she would have known the Atroma part was a problem and they could have picked something out at the hotel together since it had shops for things like that. Or she could have just put it out of her mind.]

I'm sorry you had to find it like that.

[ it's definitely easier to hold her now. he strokes her arm gently as he listens. ]

Were you ever gonna tell me, or was it an in case I bring it up sorta thing?

You bringing it up would have made it a lot easier. [There's a flicker of a smile.] I thought I was going to tell you. It kept not happening.

[The stroking is relaxing so she lets it relax her and she does her best to open up on her thoughts. Unfortunately there's no clear path in them.] I thought I'd do it if I was ever sure it was something I wanted to try, but I love how we are together. It's not like I need something more or different. But I did like the way things were when I was different. I mean, I hated a lot of that too, but you still made me feel so loved and attractive when I didn't feel like I could be.

I don't know, it was probably more that feeling than anything we actually did.

[ he was never going to bring it up, sorry kitty. it would've interfered with his delightful denial. ]

I can get that. [ he really can. and his relief at hearing that she is happy with the current state of affairs is massive and obvious. his heartbeat begins to calm down, and he starts to regain his clarity. ] But...I don't think that's going to bring that feeling back. It was the circumstances, not the sex. And this...you won't feel it.

You're right. I mean, I think you're right. I'm not sure exactly what it would feel like for me. [There might still be something in the friction of it. She doesn't need penetration to feel things after all.] I'd probably feel something.

And I thought...you could too.

[ last time it was her body, she got to feel him. this, he can't imagine what it would feel like. he imagines it would be weird. ]

Yeah, I would. [ he eyes it. it doesn't look appealing, lying there on their bed. it looks kinda scary. he's never used accessories in the bedroom before and he wasn't done struggling with doing that when it was her body. ]

You sound very uninterested which is extremely fine. Really. [It sounds like there is a "but" coming but she doesn't say more.]

It's also extremely fine for you to say whatever you wanna say. Actually, I prefer it.

[ he's not committing to an interest level right now. but he does want to know how she feels. ]

I feel the same. About you and me. [She leans in for a little nuzzle, before pulling back.] I was just thinking that if you don't want to do it because it doesn't seem like something you'd enjoy that's one thing. And if you don't want to do it because you're afraid of what it says about you then maybe we should talk about that more?

[ he sighs, eyes wandering to the box of chocolates. this is not how he wanted the evening to go. ]

All I wanted to do tonight was ask you to be my Valentine.

[ a little miserably. it's not an answer, and maybe in itself that is an answer. ]

[Yeah, that sounds a lot like "it's that second thing."] You are so sweet and I love you, and I would love to be your Valentine if you'll still have me.

[ it's really more of a mix, though. he doesn't know if he's into it. it looks a little menacing. ]

Okay now you're making fun of me. [ but he says it with a smile. if he'll have her, please. he thought it would be nice, to ask her. because he's not a neglectful boyfriend who takes her for granted (he is so kicking butt on that bet).

reaching for the chocolates, he hands her the box. ] It's a cheesy tradition, but it tastes good.

[Maybe it would look better if she were wearing it and nothing else?]

I would never. [She would, but mostly she just wants to treat him with some of that same sweetness. He brought her chocolates and adorable proposals and she brought him issues to address even if that wasn't intentional.] And you are more than welcome to participate in cheesy traditions with me especially if those traditions involve chocolate or cheese as long as it's on my mind. [Taking the box and opening it she picks one up and offers to feed it to him.]

[ that would definitely help, yes.

smiling, he accepts the chocolate, his lips brushing over her fingers. ]

Mmhm, it's a good tradition.

[Oh the lips over the fingers thing is very pleasantly distracting.] Agreed.

[She reaches for one for herself once she tears her eyes away from his lips.]

[ it is, and he could use pleasantly distracting. he's very decisively looking away from the strap on, but he's still very much aware of its presence, so his eyes stay glued to her. ]

[She knows that look when she sees it. She just keeps her eyes on him as she finishes the chocolate and wets her lips with her tongue.]

[ always with the dirty fighting! he leans in to kiss her, a kiss that's more than a little loaded. but this is more on theme of where he thought the night would go. ]

[What if she's already wearing another strap on under her clothes? (She's not.) She presses back into the kiss readily meeting him and very glad they are here. Oh, she thinks they have more to talk about for sure, but she's glad they are still connecting. That there was no offense or storming off. Which she didn't really expect either but there's always a flare of worry when they have a conflict for reasons that aren't his fault. He's good at calming them. And she's pretty happy with how well they both handled it so far at least. So, clearly, they need a reward.]

[ the blame game is one game he truly loathes, and tries not to partake in. it's rare that only one side's to blame for a conflict, so why dwell on it?

he wouldn't really call what happened here tonight a 'conflict', either. it was more...getting caught by surprise, old issues floating up without warning. he's not angry with her for wanting to try something new, that would be idiotic of him, they've done so many new things together and they've been amazing. and it's not like she's pressuring him into it. he just really didn't see this coming. he should've - she mentioned the possibility when the was changed, but since they never talked about it since, he put it out of his mind.

he tries to do the same now, which results in her getting very devoted attention. ]

[After some vigorous, shared, devoted attention she is lying in his arms, snuggling and feeling warm and boneless.] Mmmm...I like being your valentine. We didn't hurt the chocolates, did we? Tell me there were no casualties.

[ he grumbles at having to move away from her, but he does as he's asked and takes a peek. unfortunately, chocolate's not all he sees.

he turns back to her, nuzzling her neck to distract himself. ]

Big bed saves lives.

I love big bed. I should have shoved Vision out when I moved in. Guy didn't even sleep. [She loves and misses Vision but she definitely should have stolen his room. So much to regret in her post coital glow.]

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