driftfleet | video. sponsor drop... FLAMINGOS EVERYWHERE GOD SAVE THE QUEEN

Who: Jarvis and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Tourist
When: Today!

[Jarvis had just been returning to the SS Tourist after a day of working in the water and at the bar on the Iskaulit — it's clearly the Atroma's doing, some sort of surprise for the butler that must've been quite desired... clearly... He stumbles a bit in the dark, confused, because when is the cargo bay ever dark?]

Hello? Captain??

Mr. Schott?

.... Miss Price?

[He flicks on the main lighting system at last after a mild curse hitting his knee, and he's horrified by what he sees, as Hotel California plays muffled over the speakers. Not played by anyone on board, of course. But that's not the worst of it... No, the worst of it is that he finds himself... surrounded. By plastic...pink... flamingos.]

Oh... dear god.

...

[He plucks up a note.]

"To Edwin Jarvis, to help with the homesickness, a kind sponsor has decided to offer an army of your favorite Earth creature..."

[He looks to the left. Flamingos. To the right. Flamingos. There's some sitting in the shuttle seats. There's one wearing one of his ties.

Jarvis wipes a hand across his forehead, looking to the floor in his shock.]

... This is the worst day of my life.

[One of the flamingos tips over and clatters.

DISCONNECTED.

....

no, no, this is not over!!!

RECONNECTED.]

What in the bloody underworld am I supposed to do with dozens upon dozens of these?!

[hands on HIPS!!!! LECTURING THE ATROMA!!!!]

This is a sour waste of resources!! I would like a recall! Nobody wants your army of — of — hellbirds!

[... Outside of the SS Tourist, they've also peppered the ocean floor around the ship with flamingos, too.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

oh my god

best thing i've seen all week

Absolutely not!!

It's a terror in pink. Beady eyes watching your every move!

dude

you gotta treasure this moment a great gift has been bestowed on you

Edited 2017-03-13 03:52 (UTC)

How on earth is this remotely a gift??

What in the blazes am I supposed to do with all of these monstrosities.

hide one on every ship and see how long it takes everyone to figure it out

Edited 2017-03-13 03:56 (UTC)

I sense that you're a trickster of sorts who is easily entertained by the confusion of others.

well i never

i am deeply wounded by these accusations

I have a sneaking suspicion you are not at all wounded.

Not even a paper cut to account for.

maybe not physically wounded but in my heart man

you got me good

Once again, I question the validity of that statement.

......

Would you like some flamingos for your ship?

keep those flamingos far away or i will officially declare war on your ship

All that hubbub and you don't even want any??

i just want you appreciate their beauty

and to never have to see one in person myself

Something about that statement seems a bit paradoxical.

i see nothing illogical in anything i've said, ever

... Very well.

In that case I will ask your crew if they would like any.

[Because this player has a certain kid captain on your ship who would loooove a few flamingos.]

nope i'm the captain and i'm setting a new ship rule, no flamingos allowed

[gently ignores the other captain to serve her own purposes because she's the worst!!]

Tyrannical! And a terribly absurd rule.

Rebellion is in order.

look do unto others as you would have them do unto you

if you didn't want flamingos shoved into your living space why do you have to shove them into mine

not cool man not cool

Well! Just because I think they're terrible hell-beasts doesn't mean someone else may not like them. It's okay to not like things other people like. My granny taught me that.

that's nice

i'm sure your granny is very proud

I hope so, god rest her soul!

If you see flamingos appear aboard your ship, rest assured it's a horrific coincidence.

[... Or is it.]

do not even

my vengeance will be swift

I will work on my squats so that I may outrun it, then.

i have magic but nice try

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