driftfleet | (no subject)

Nope, but I'm a coward. Don't be me.

[ actually, he still hasn't told kara. ]

I don't think I'm winning any awards for bravery anytime soon.

[ he glances his way again. ]

Why do you say that?

Well, I'm no Kara, right? [Smiling because nothing is serious here. No worries! No thoughts about being a secret prince!]

So? Only Kara is Kara. Not being Kara doesn't mean not being brave.

Are you saying you think I'm brave?

Pft, I'm saying I know you are.

I think I heard you wrong. It sounded like you said you know I am.

No, that's what I said.

[ he frowns at him ]

Okay - what is going on with you?

Nothing. Why do you think something is going on with me?

Could have something to do with you being weird. Come on, man, you can talk to me.

........There might be things I mislead you all about on my life in Daxam.

[And he both wants to tell so that isn't some secret revealed out from under him, but he also wants to leave it in his past and never think about it again. It shouldn't matter anymore, right? Except it might matter. What if he loses everything over it? Is it worth that kind of risk just to not have it hanging over him?]

...okay.

[ quiet, encouraging. he's listening if mon-el wants to talk. ]

I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want it to come up.

I get it, Mon-El. I totally get it. But this is what the Atroma do - they dredge up the things we don't wanna talk about. Wouldn't it be better to do it under your own terms? And I mean, it might make you feel better, too, it's obviously weighing on you. You don't have to tell me anything but - you should talk to Kara.

What if she doesn't want to see me again after she finds out?

Do you really wanna be in a relationship with someone you don't trust with the truth?

It's not like that. I love her. I don't want to lose her again. I didn't even realize the thing with Natasha was going to be a problem and it was and this... [This he has always worried would be a problem.]

Then learn from it, Mon-El. If you don't trust her, how can she trust you? I know it's scary, but whatever it is - it can't be that bad.

[ cuz mon-el is a good guy. what could he have even mislead them about? he doesn't remember him telling them all that much about daxam to begin with... ]

[He looks at him when he says those last words.] Why do you say that?

Because you're a good person.

[ you better be a good person, if you come out as evil on him now, he's really going to take it personally, okay. ]

You know, Kitty found out a lot of things about me this past year that I was scared would be deal breakers, that felt like the end of the world to me. All she ever did with them was comfort me, make me feel loved and accepted.

[The "Because you're a good person" means a lot to him and he really wants it to be true. No secret evil schemes here. Just someone who was very powerless in what was otherwise a very powerful position.]

What did you think would be a deal breaker? [He hasn't ever seen anything of Winn that would tell him he's anything but a great person and loyal friend.]

That if insanity is hereditary I'm at real risk of going nuts, that I suck at telling her things, that - [ no, it's still really hard for him to say. he trusts mon-el, but what if like, it's a huge deal on daxam or something? ] a bunch of stuff that seemed like a way bigger deal when I was building them up in my head then they ever did when I finally told her.

[He nods.] I'm glad she did the right thing with all of that. You're a great friend, so you're probably a great boyfriend too.

I try.

[ he smiles ]

You're a great friend too, and so's Kara. She's my best friend.

[ 'so you better not hurt her' is implied. ]