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(no subject)

Who: Natasha Romanoff + you?
Broadcast: Fleetwide, text
Action: upon request
When: now

[If Natasha thought she escaped the rumors, she's going to be disabused of the notion. The notes start appearing here and there—short and anonymous. Things like:]

Natasha has a cat named Boris.

Natasha Romanoff once killed a man in Vegas just to watch him die.

Romanoff has been lying about about her age.

[And—]

Nataasha is a lingerie model.

[That last one, it seems, comes with some evidence. Sponsor drop? Either way, a few files seem to have been uploaded to support the case.

file1
file2
file3
file4

She shouldn't be surprised those came back to haunt her, should she? The real question is if anyone will dare to comment on them.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, he knew the secret handshake.

[Joking. She's joking.

She's probably joking.]

We talked a little bit. He was... excited.

Excited enough to get self defense lessons from you?

_{[ An arch of a brow as he sipped his drink. He wasn't angry about it -
at least, not at her. Okay, it stung, but that was between him and Chekov,
not Natasha. ]}

He told you about that.

[She smiles a little, giving him a clear eyed look.]

He asked. I didn't see any reason to turn him down—not like I'm fighting off students.

[Though oddly, she does seem to be collecting a few of them lately.]

It came up. I offered to teach him, but I was to late.

_{[ A shrug. He really only had Winn to instruct and sparred with
Natasha and Fenris. He wasn't looking for students, but Chekov was his
crewman. He supposed it didn't much matter so long as he was getting the
instruction. ]}

How exactly did it come up that you can kick ass?

Luck, mostly. [She takes a drink herself, amused by the memory.] I happened to catch him losing a fight with the heavy bag.

Had to offer to help. It was a matter of national pride at that point.

[A thing Natasha has very, very little of, but Chekov seems to have more than enough for both of them.]

_{[ He laughed softly, shaking his head at the image it produced. ]}

Well, thank you for taking care of him. I'm glad he's getting instruction from someone who's competent. He's overly earnest most of the time and overly excitable too, but he's a good kid.

I don't know if I'm taking care of him, but I can show him a thing or two.

Especially since I'm used to getting in fights with people who are bigger than me.

Well, just make sure he can walk back to the ship for me, okay? Or maybe, just once, have to call me to come fetch him.

_{[ He chuckled at the thought. ]}

So - what would you name your cat, Natasha?

Hypothetically? Depends on the cat I guess.

I really haven't thought about it.

Heh. I always thought that if I got a dog, I would call them Jack. I can't say why, I just really like the name Jack, I suppose. It seemed like a good name to call in the evening when you're heading home for supper.

Not a bad name for a dog. [She tilts her head a little, though, curious.] Even if you got a girl? Still Jack?

Jack is absolutely a non-gendered name. It can be short of Jacqueline too.

Is Jacqueline a dog name? I've never met a dog named Jacqueline.

Are there really rules about what you name your dog?

Something you don't mine yelling in front of strangers?

Okay, that's a good rule. But it feels like it's the only rule. Otherwise I say free game, even if I feel that Lucky and Spot and Cupcake are completely passé.

Shouldn't those have come around to being popular again by your time?

Some things just go out of style and stay there.

Fewer things than you might think. Though, who knows. I hear humanity's changed in the future...

Maybe we don't name dogs Spot anymore either.

_{[ He laughed. ]}

You're right - all dogs are called Jack, all cats are named Boris, and all lovely, dangerous Russians share drinks with space captains.

_{[ He sipped and leaned in just a little towards her. ]}

Well, the ones that can also knock them off their chairs, anyways.

Oh, now I'm sure you don't do that. [Amusement clear in her voice as she drinks.]

So if you had a cat, what would you call it? Not Jack.

Hmmm, never gave much thought to a cat. I'm a dog person. But I suppose if I had to name a cat... maybe Louis.

_{[ He pronounced it the French way as he looked to Natasha, raising his
brows with a playful, sultry little smile at the corner of his lips. ]}

Your turn. What would you name your cat?

Louis, eh? Very regal. [She's been thinking about it, and she still doesn't have an actual answer. So she makes something up.]

How about Tovarish?

Well, you know what they say about cats - kings of their domains, with just a touch of asshole.

_{[ He made a soft sound, still leaning towards her. ]}

What does that name mean?

Comrade. [She smiles, inclining her head a little. The joke, she figures, is probably lost on him.]