Video

[onlyanapple]

Who: Crowley and you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Málum - Iskaulit
When: Right now

[Crowley had checked the vast majority of his people were where they were supposed to be- annoyingly, Allen was passed out, but he's not going to share that with everyone because, well, he had more exciting news to share. He'd gone to check on his bar, and found the upgrades he'd paid for had finally borne fruit.

As such, he turns on the camera with a sharp-toothed grin. Bohemian Rhapsody can be heard faintly in the background (sometimes, the jukebox got stuck on it) as Crowley pans the camera to a slushie machine. Look at how that coloured ice sludge spins slowly. So delicious.]

So! While we were having our fun little time in our own heads, it seems Málum has had a bit of an upgrade! We now have a bona-fide slushie machine. Which means we can have alcoholic slushies. So while you lot are drowning your sorrows about unwanted memories or...apparently celebrating coming out of a closet, you can do it with a boozy cup of flavoured ice.

Isn't that great?

[He could have bought him and Felix a bigger bedroom, he could have done that but no. This is what he devoted his credits on. This right here.]

If you come by with some emotional scarring from your calibrations, come by and I'll give you a single little slush for free. Just one mind.

Comments

Re: video;

[universal_charm]

I am glad you have faith in me for one thing at least.

video;

[onlyanapple]

But of course. I always like to bet on a winner.

Re: video;

[universal_charm]

I dearly wish to take that sincerely, but coming from you, I also suspect an ulterior motive.... and I'm okay with that.

video;

[onlyanapple]

I'm a demon, Jim. There's always and ulterior motive.

Re: video;

[universal_charm]

I didn't say it was always a bad thing though.

video;

[onlyanapple]

I should certainly hope you didn't. Be no fun otherwise.

Re: video;

[universal_charm]

But of course. Now the question is, are you going to tell me the other motive now, or will I have to wait until I have a drink in me?

video;

[onlyanapple]

Oh, you must wait. Otherwise it would spoil the surprise.

Re: video;

[universal_charm]

Hmm, you almost sounded ominous there. Almost.

video;

[onlyanapple]

Only almost? I really must get better at my tones.

Re: video;

[universal_charm]

You really must.

_{[ But hey, guess what, now you get to see him in person and not the screen because guess who's here? Why yes, it's Kirk! He grinned when he saw Crowley, making his way to the bar. ]}

It's strange being served by you. Normally it's Tyrion.

[onlyanapple]

Yes, well, Tyrion tends to put in a lot of hours.

[He gives a shrug. ]

I'm not a fan of too much work. Brings me out in hives, it's terrible unattractive.

[universal_charm]

They have creams for that you know.

[onlyanapple]

Really? I'll have to look into it.

So. What's your poison?

[universal_charm]

Bourbon, Scotch, a good whiskey.

_{[ Look, if he was going to be used for something, he was going to get the nice stuff out of it. ]}

[onlyanapple]

You've got it.

[He'll pour the requested drink, sliding it across the bar to Kirk. It's a real nice one,
too.]

Enjoy~

[universal_charm]

Well this might be selling my soul for something, but again, I'm okay with it.

_{[ He takes a sip and lets out an appreciative sound as the liquid warms his belly. ]}

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley chuckles, shaking his head. ]

Don't be ridiculous. I don't buy souls. The stock market for one is currently worthless without Heaven or Hell around.

[universal_charm]

Oh? But you have some experience with them then? What would mine have been worth, in a good market?

_{[ He doesn't actually believe it, but hey, he can play along. ]}

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley leans forward, staring at the screen for a few seconds. ]

I reckon they'd have a good scrap over you. Hell could make a good case with all that lust and recklessness you have buuuut-

[He sits back, he might look even marginally disappointed. ]

But Heaven would ultimately get you, on account of your unending desire to put everyone else's life- even complete bloody strangers above your own. They eat that selflessness bullshit for breakfast. Congrats, you have an afterlife of utter boredom waiting for you. Yay.

[universal_charm]

_{[ He was amused more than anything, laughing softly. ]}

If I had the choice then? I'd probably choose hell. Boredom is one of my greatest fears. Why else travel through the unknown universe?

[onlyanapple]

Hate to break it to you, Jim, but Hell's not a better option. What Heaven lacks in action, Hell makes up for by being relentlessly terrible. Boiling lakes of blood and screams of the damned and all that.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Literally, in this case. Kind of a bugger, really. Better to just enjoy being alive while you can, because that's the best part.