Floot Loops

[all7seas]

Who: Jack Sparrow and Anyone
Broadcast: Yes, unfortunately.
Action: It COULD lead to action on Kayann, which is where Jack is at the moment. It's much better than being stuck on the Bishop with Looma and mean people who hate Jenga. (Looking at YOU, Pidge Gunderson.)
When: Later in the evening of the 16th.

"New fruity floot loops
Slooping in a groovy suit
Gloop 'em in a new boot
Or sling 'em in a pie.

Rooty-tooty floot loops
Drooping in a blue soup
Mooping in some newt poop!
Floot Loops til we die!"

[It's a poem. Jack wrote it. And now he's reciting it over and over again. To you.]

Comments

voice;

[helmsplitter]

[....oh my gods, Jack. Why. He's at his communications station and this broadcast won't stop.]

...Are you tryin' to put me back in a coma?

voice;

[all7seas]

[Jack IS a Communications Officer. And this is important right now. For some reason.]

A sugar coma, with the great flippin' taste of floot loops!

voice;

[helmsplitter]

[Why was he assigned this position? What god hated Doudanuki this much?]

If it's got anythin' t'do with "newt poop", I think I'll pass.

voice;

[all7seas]

It's got everything to do with newt poop. And gnu chutes, what the gnus go sailing down on Thursdays.


[Something MIGHT be wrong with Jack right now. Orrrr he could be totally fine.]

voice;

[helmsplitter]

...


[None of that made any sense - which actually reminds him of someone from home so he only has one question to ask.]


Are you drunk?

voice;

[all7seas]

No!

[Jack has the tone of voice of someone who sounds borderline hysterically frightened, actually. Or maybe someone who's had too much sugar. Really way too happy.]

voice;

[helmsplitter]

[Okay, then he has no idea what is wrong with Jack other than he's singing a nonsensical poem over the network like there's no tomorrow.]

Are you bein' held hostage or something? Because other than talkin' in codes, I have no idea why you're talking about poop and whatever a "gnu" is.

voice;

[all7seas]

Like a unicorn, but with two long curvy-like horns. And I'm not talking about poop! 'M talkin' bout the loops of floot!

[Yeahhhhh something's not right.]

voice;

[helmsplitter]

What that crap they sell on the planet?

[Because there is a lot of crap on the planet down below - useful things, too, but mostly just...kitsch to him.]

Why're you singin' about them?

[Voice]

[iattractmushi]

[Well, that's... different.]

Uh... are you okay?

voice;

[sylphid]

Splooty-looty floot loops
Thooping on a fruit stoop
Shoot 'em out a big hoop
Floating in the sky~

[Another verse is contributed in song form.]

voice;

[all7seas]

[Instead of answering the question, Jack keeps singing.]

Fruity-wooty floot loops!
Stooping in a jute snood
Whooping like a soup troop
Fly the banner high!

voice;

[helmsplitter]

This has to be a hostage situation, right?

Are you in some kinda trouble with a Floot Loop mafia or something?

[Voice]

[all7seas]

Never better, what with the multi-colored sugary treat that is floot loops! And how are you flooping, boop? Have you hooped a scoop of these loops?

voice;

[all7seas]

[In a small voice:] They have a mafia?

voice;

[helmsplitter]

....Why else would you be doin' this?

[HE ASSUMES??? Because most large companies, or at least, most large armies always had a black ops group, right? The assassins, the ninjas, the spies - it was normal in an army, so why not in companies?]

voice;

[monolike]

Wow, you really have a way with words! Did you write that yourself? [can you help me write my love poetry]

voice;

[all7seas]

[Yes. YES. YEEEEES.]

Booty-snootin' floot loops
Group'em in a swooping coop
Shoot 'em with a war whoop
Come now, don't be shy!

voice;

[all7seas]

[There comes the sound of crunching. Jack is having more floot loops.]

Because fruity. And stays crunchy, even in milk.



Help.

voice;

[all7seas]

Wrote it all meself, lad, with the help of these fruity loops! I salute you, loops! I shoot you true kudos. Why do you ask? Do you, too, wish to swoop an important part of this balanced breakfast?

video

[redatheart]

[Why are you like this, Jack.

From the comm station on the Bishop:]

Is this code? Are you in trouble?

[...He doesn't sound completely sincere.]

BOOTY SNOOTIN ghfjghfd

[sylphid]

Cutie-suited floot loops
Have 'em solve a square root
Hooting with a scoop troop
How grand, my oh my~

[This is a thing now.]

: D

[all7seas]

Gloopy soupy floot loops!
Gooning in a parachute
Crooning in a blue moon
Toss some in your eye!

Ouch!

[He has apparently just tossed some in his eye, and it kind of hurt.]

video

[all7seas]

Sayid!

[Finally, someone who understands him.]

I'm in all of the trouble that the tart yet sweet taste of floot loops can deliver!

[There MIGHT be trouble? But of what kind? A mystery.]

[sylphid]

[...]

Why would you do that?