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[veilstrike]

Who: Lavellan
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: On the Red Fish
When: Now!

[ When the feed comes on, the woman featured mostly looks... Awkward, and unsure of herself. It takes her a moment to realise her pressing buttons worked, and then she brightens, leaning forward so that her face is in the camera a little more. She's trying, but modern technology is still a bit of a leap for her, despite knowing how to use it thanks to her augment. It's foreign, but she's doing her best. ]

Andaran atish’an. My name is Leilani of Clan Lavellan - I was told there were other elves here, from Thedas. I was hoping to meet them, if I could? It's not necessary, of course, but...

[ But she does rather want to be with her people right now, or some of them, if she can. She doesn't feel particularly comfortable and she thinks she has reason enough to feel on edge, all things considered.

Hopefully, no one will notice her lack of vallaslin. She's not in the mood. She seems to steel herself, at least, and something settles as she sits up. ]

I'd be glad to speak to anyone else, as well, especially if I can be given more information about this place. I would appreciate it. Ma serannas.

Comments

[samahl]

Yes...

[Then, after a moment, because he knows how delicate this subject can be,] Was he more to you?

[veilstrike]

Yes.

[ That must be why this Inquisitor has vallaslin and she does not. She bows her head, uncomfortable. ]

He was ma vhenan.

[samahl]

I am so sorry, lethallan.

[He feels a sorrow for her that he can't fully explain. Maybe because he perhaps had felt some deep connection with Solas himself and part of him is still grieving that. It may just be because he can imagine all that she has gone through without having the person you love turn out to be the one who caused it all on top of that.

The emotion even makes him use the familiar term without realizing. They might both be Lavellan, but he doesn't know her well enough to have used it otherwise.]

[veilstrike]

Ma serannas, lethallin. There is nothing to be done now.

[ Lavellan shakes her head, breathing out. There is no way for her to undo the damage that Solas had done, even as he still holds a huge place in her heart. She cannot move forward with harming nor hurting him, not when she loved him so desperately.

The term comes back instantly; it's natural, to respond in kind to her people.

Lifting her head, she looks over at him, careful. ]

He did not tell you about vallaslin before he left, did he?

[samahl]

He did not. Is that why...

[He doesn't want to say the words 'you face is bare' to her. That seems so rude.]

What did he tell you?

[veilstrike]

Why they are gone? Yes.

[ Stupid, foolish Solas, keeping some secrets and telling others. Should she feel lucky to have been told, or furious that he had put this on her shoulders and no one else's? ]

He told me that they were slave markings. Nobles would mark their slaves to honour the God they chose to worship.

[samahl]

The Evanuris? That's how they branded their slaves?

[So much seems to click into place.] That explains the murals on the walls of Fen'Harel's temple, doesn't it? Solas was against slavery. He freed them. He...

[He had been caught up in the academics of the thing, that it takes a moment for the emotionally impact to land.]

He freed you.

[There's no anger or jealousy there, just a bit of awe. He can't imagine caring like that for someone.]

[veilstrike]

Yes. Or how the people serving them branded them, to honour the Evanuris.

[ It's wonderfully academic, of course, and if it hadn't been so personal she would have flourished and loved the very idea of understanding the nature of elven heritage, but the problem was that it was incredibly personal. He had come and taking her markings from her, left her bare and embarrassed and alone, and then he had turned from her.

He had broken her, surely. ]

Ar lasa mala revas. [ Lavellan shakes her head. ] He took them from me and then he left me. It is not the gift you imagine it to be.

[samahl]

[Instantly he does realize it had been the wrong way to think of it and bows his head a bit in apology.]

No. You're right. [He sighs.] I know a bit what it is like for him to take something from you and leave, but I don't know what it's like to love someone like that.

I can't imagine what you're going through.

You can vent to me, though. If you need.

[veilstrike]

[ She can appreciate why, she thinks; she would be the same if she had been removed from the situation. ]

No, don't apologise. It's nothing that you could know about - you were not... With him like that.

[ It's awkward and uncomfortable, and her hands clench down by her side. ]

He abandoned me, and he abandoned the rest of us. He made a foolish choice, and I have to show him the error of his plan.

[samahl]

I hope we both succeed in that.

[Then, because all these feelings are getting to be too much to handle.]

Does Sera know about the truth behind vallaslin?

[veilstrike]

No. I haven't spoken to her about it.

[ Her nose wrinkles. ]

She and I do not get along and I don't think she'd have taken it well.

[samahl]

You don't?

[That's interesting. He wonders what other companions they might have differing opinions about.]

Does that mean...? [He stops, thinks of another way to word what he wants to ask.] Have you been able to tell anyone?

[veilstrike]

[ She shifts, awkward and uncertain. ]

There was no one to tell. I spoke to Dorian about it, but he couldn't understand.

[ And the Dorian here doesn't know her, so he likely doesn't remember. ]

[samahl]

That's a very heavy burden to bear, lethallan.

[After a moment, he admits,]

I can't believe that we've tried to hard to be free elves, dedicated to uncovering our history. And that we could be so wrong about so much.

I couldn't imagine carrying that knowledge alone.

[veilstrike]

That is what I said to him, when he told me.

[ It had settled on her and she had felt so desperately uncomfortable. She hadn't wanted to believe that it was true, but he had never lied before. ]

There was no one to tell. I was far from my clan and Solas was gone.

[samahl]

Well, here you can share with me. I'll help you carry some of it, if I'm able.

[veilstrike]

Lethallin. [ Her expression softens, just a little, and she bows her head. ] Ma serannas. I am glad to not be alone.

[samahl]

[He offers her a reassuring smile.]

We Inquisitors have to stick together, especially elven Inquisitors.

[veilstrike]

[ It is comforting, even if she has just bared her soul. ]

What of your life, then? Was it so different from mine?

[samahl]

I think we likely have a lot of the events in common, similar to the Heroes of Ferelden and the Champions of Kirkwall.


What would you like to know?

[veilstrike]

Who did you choose to befriend? What allies did you have? Were you happy?

[samahl]

I befriend a lot of people. [He offers her a smile showing that he's being playful not purposely difficult.]

Sera basically saved me, after all of this went down. [This meaning losing his hand, which he gestures to vaguely.] I know she can be a bit much, but I promise under her layers of defenses she's rather sweet, caring, and in need of someone to accept her. She's one of the few who routinely has people check in on Wycome and make sure the Clan is all right without me first asking. She gave me something to do too, once I was settled in Kirkwall.

Which, also lets you know that Varric and I got along. I took up his offer to have a home in Kirkwall and live there now. He's also one of the ones who checks in on the Clan, though he does it by showering them with political and trade power with the other city-states.

Hmm...I enjoyed Bull's presence quite a lot. [A slight pause.] A lot.

[He's just going to leave that at that.]

Oh! And Dorian and I were very close. [He pats the tunic he's wearing to show the outline of the sending crystal he has tucked away.]

He's here, by the way. Or at least some version of him is. Were you able to speak with him?

[veilstrike]

As do I. I feel as though that's part of the job.

[ Josie would be proud of her, but... Still, it makes her think.

She cannot imagine being that close to Sera. The other woman had been so vicious when it came to elven heritage that it had turned Leilani away from her from the beginning, and it had seemed as though they had never been able to overcome that hurdle. They had been friendly, true, but they had never been as close as this man and Sera seemed to be. It just doesn't make sense in her mind, she thinks.

The rest of it is familiar, at least, though she was never that close with Iron Bull. Dorian and Bull had been her dearest friends, though, and with Cole... She couldn't have asked for much more. ]

Dorian and I were incredibly close. He was one of the best friends I've ever had in my entire life, and I'm incredibly lucky that he was at my side. He and Bull were very important to me, though perhaps not in the same way they were to you.

[ She had Solas, after all; she had never thought of doing anything with Bull beyond idle fancies. ]

Varric and I were close friends, too, and Cole... [ God, what does she even say about Cole? ] Cole was special to me. I... I'm not sure I can explain it.

[ But, ah, that's the awkward question. ]

Yes, we've spoken, but he doesn't recognise me.

[samahl]

I don't think he knows me either, though he was happy to continue flirting with me. [Another moment where he doesn't take things entirely seriously in order to avoid emotional topics once more.] I suppose that's the important part.

[Except it's not even close to the important part.]

Cole was dear too. I think it's impossible to meet a being so dedicated to aiding others and not come out of it attached to him.

He... He eventually had a choice to make, between embracing his spirit nature or the being more human being he had become. Which did you guide him towards?