driftfleet | Do pigeons have feelings?

Entry tags:

Do pigeons have feelings?

Who: Adalwolfe Hawke
Broadcast: Yes, video
Action: Yes, Malum or Tourist.
When: In the wee hours of the morning, during drift week

Stop me if you've heard this one.

[Hello fleet, it's a very drunk Adalwolfe Hawke on your feed tonight. Which is weird because usually he doesn't make drunk posts, but hey it's been a hard wee- no, mont-... year? No, not long enough.

Life. It's been a hard life. And sometimes that catches up with him, so hooray alcohol and existential 2am thoughts.]

But, right, so, some people in the fleet are from earlier that other people in the fleet from the same versh.. version of the same world, right? So then would them changing someone when they get back - or if I guess 'cause who knows - would them changing a big thing then change that thing for the people here from later there? If say... Idunno, I was from before all the stuff and decided not to go to Kirkwall, would other stuff have happened instead of my stuff? Would that change all the... the stuff?

[Maker he needs Varric or Carver to translate his drunkspeech. He's not so far gone that he can't tell he's making the least amount of sense.]

Or if-if... I dunno if I should say that nevermind, but you all get my point, right? Is it set in stone? Or is it like... all these different Thedaseses that everyone is from, they just get made when something else changed so it still happened but the other thing happened too, somehow? Uh.

[He frowns into his mug. These are very murky, complicated thoughts. Clearly he needs to wash them off with more alcohol.]

Were we meant to do things or do things just happen even if we don't do anything? You get what I'm trying to say, right?

[Someone? Anyone?]

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[Shepard was on the clock, so he didn't see the post, but he did see the obviously plastered guy making it. He recognized him as a regular, in so-far as anyone trapped on these ships was a regular to one of the only two bars in the fleet, but the guy also stood out. And Shepard had been to more than his fair share of bars in his lifetime, he knew six sheets to the wind when he saw it.

Hawke hadn't ordered anything recently, but Karman still slipped back into the kitchen and found a plastic bucket (why Crowley insisted on things that weren't plates as plates Karman would never really understand beyond 'aesthetic') which he then set to filling with something hearty.

A couple minutes later, Shepard went to Wolfe's table and placed the bucket filled with a very traditional breakfast of eggs and biscuits and even some bacon all piled together. There were certainly perks to working for someone who could just make whatever appear from thin air.]

Hey. Couldn't help but notice you're drinking a lot more than you're eating out here.

Does it matter?

[He knows it does logically, something about food soaking up the alcohol in the stomach and it making you less drunk, but he doesn't exactly want to be less drunk right now. That's what coffee is for when he inevitably wakes up with a hangover. Besides, he's committed and accepted his fate. That's for future Hawke to deal with.

He also really likes the smell of that bacon, though.

Maybe just... one slice...]

You're Shepard, right? Karman?

[Even drunk he remembers names and faces very well.]

[Yep, he's defintiely at that level of drunk where you loudly proclaim you're fine and you'll drink for the rest of your life if you want to, before being sick all over yourself.

He wasn't dealing with that today. Hawke had seemed practical, but then again, you never knew and Shepard barely knew him at all. Maybe this was a semi-normal thing for him. Still, people who got this drunk were either alcoholics or trying to drown something else out. He was about to find out which.]

That's right. I'm usually here, just usually in the kitchen.

[He slid into the seat across from Wolfe, his gaze lingering on the other man, particularly on whether or not this was going to be a fight.]

No offense, but I'm not interested in cleaning up after you because you had too much. Eat more of that, okay?

I'm not going to be sick in here, Crowley would kill me. Or at least look over the rims of his glasses in that disapproving way he does.

[Still, he picks at more of the food.]

I used to work here too, you know. I may take my job back, I don't know yet. Depends.

[He huffs in amusement and interlaces his fingers in front of him as though considering Wolfe.]

Glad we're on the same page, then.

He's mentioned it before, in passing. You come in here often enough. Why'd you leave?

I was in a coma.

[He swallows his bite and immediately takes another one.]

Then a planet got destroyed by a meteor so there was evacuations and such, and then after that we crashed on a planet of cannibals. So, you know, busy.

[Also all the Thedas drama but he doesn't need to pile it all on.]

[His eyebrows climb up his brow as Hawke goes on.]

Fair enough, that definitely sounds like a handful.

[He'd heard a bit about the cannibals and the planet exploding, even found some documentation here and there, it was...enlightening. And a bit of a relief, as horrible as that was. He'd rather be dealing with those things than this calm nothing he seemed to step into. He didn't know what to do with nothing.

Well, come work in a bar, cooking, for a person calling himself a demon of all things, apparently.]

And what's stopping you now? I've been here a couple months now and it's been...quiet.

Personal reasons. It's not been quiet for everyone.

[He washes down a big bite of eggs on a biscuit with a large gulp of his beer.]

Let me tell you, Atroma likes my lot entirely too much. There's too many of us displaced here, and all from different times or versions. It's confusing, frankly, and far more trouble than its worth.

[He leans back a bit, his expression shifting to something more empathetic.]

Ah...yes, I've run into that myself. One of my closest friends from my state of things is here too, I would trust him with just about anything and, at first, he didn't even think I was who I was claiming to be. Apparently, the Shepard he knew was a woman. I imagine, it doesn't get any easier or soften the blow the more times it happens.

[God, what if Garrus showed up too and didn't recognize Shepard either? He didn't know what he'd do.]

Maybe the distraction of being on the other side of the bar would be helpful, if things are that complicated right now.

[And healthier.]

[Another bout of unsolicited advice from Karman and Wolfe sets down the second biscuit he'd picked up.]

Look, I appreciate what you're doing. I do the same thing. But I've got my own way of dealing with my problems and it requires me to be available, not tied to a work schedule.

[Mostly because his boyfriend is oscillating between suicidal and workaholic and he needs to be able to be there to talk him off the edge or make him rest before he passes out. But again, not really Shepard's business. Changing the subject should help, in any case.

Damn, he must be sobering up if he can navigate the conversation like this. Must be the food.]

I understand about the female version of yourself thing, though. Marian Hawke is that for me, here in the fleet. It's sort of like having a twin you never knew about that went through basically all the very same things you did.

[His head fell, turned away to hide the brief smirk before he looked back up.]

You're not as drunk as I guessed, then. Or maybe you've just got a better head on your shoulders than some of the other drunks I've talked to in the past.

But good to know we've got that common ground.
[Sticking their noses where they didn't strictly belong was an art and one that was both dying and hard to pull off sometimes. But Karman did it with a religious devotion and with the stubborness of a mule to boot.]

I guess. I wouldn't know, this other Shepard isn't in the fleet. It sounds like some things might be different, but it definitely sounds like the things that matter aren't. Is it weird for you, having her around?

I have an excellent head.

[He nods sagely, then gives a very undignified snort.]

Ahh, it's a bit weird, but she and I think so much alike she's basically the twin I never had. I used to be jealous of my younger siblings being twins, and I can see I was justified in that.

[He's clearly amused, but there's a touch of wistfulness to it, an edge easily passed over...especially for those who might be a little inebriated.]

It sounds nice. I never had any siblings. [Or even parents.]

But I had brothers and sisters in other ways.

Maybe I'll get 'lucky' and another Shepard will show up here as well.

[Although, with his luck, it'd be some jackass Karman couldn't stand. Like his clone.]

Are you feeling any better? Whatever reason you have for not allowing yourself to be distracted must also apply to being fall-over drunk.

I told you I'm fine. I've been far drunker than this and still fought off a brace of Templars and city guard with one arm tied behind my back. That's not just what Varric wrote, that really happened.

[It totally didn't. What had happened was he'd punched his Templar brother and they'd fallen down in an idiotic pile of wrestling buffoons in the middle of the Hanged Man and it took Aveline, Donnic, and two other guardsmen to tear them off each other and he'd ended up with a broken arm that Anders had to be fetched to set. It must have been after Mother died, he thinks. He doesn't have a lot of clear memories of the weeks after that.]

Are you a father? You act like you have children.

Of course.

[Maybe it did happen, but Shepard had talked with enough drunks to basically believe none of them at any given moment.

Hawke's question pulls a startled laugh from the Commander.]

No. I'm part of the Navy, there was never time. [Or inclination, you needed two for that tango. Not that he hadn't thought about it. Maybe if he and Ash...or even after, if he'd bothered to try with anyone else. Although his 'interests' had been...limited. It didn't matter now.]

Although, I guess the six-hundred pound Krogen I've known since his 'birth' is close enough sometimes.

Always wanted them, though. Kids. What about you? [Hawke did not act like a father, but it seemed rude not to ask.]

Edited 2018-03-04 20:00 (UTC)

Oh, the navy. I can see how that would make things difficult.

[What's a Krogen? He's about to ask, but the question startles him out of it, pulling a laugh.]

Children? Me? Now you're just making fun.

Me?

I wouldn't dream of it.

[He wasn't intending to make fun, he was trying to be diplomatic, but he had about a 60/40 shot at actually being successful whenever he did that. At least this time his failure was something he could roll with.

Hmm...

[He's unsure, regarding Shepard with a considering air, then just shrugs.]

My life is too crazy for children, not to mention other more mundane difficulties like no one to actually carry the baby, considering my partner is also a man.

[He says it completely matter of factually. That sort of discrimination isn't much of a thing in Thedas unless you're in line for some kind of high position and Adalwolfe had already decided fuck that a long time ago.]

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