text - anonymous

[moseyin]

D o any of you ever wonder if your world would be better off without you
?

not like
dying or something back home, but. If you just never went back

Comments

EXTREMELY AND AGGRESSIVELY ANON

[moseyin]

You can't just claim a whole world for yourself though. Its not like you got a right to it just because you live on it

WOW SIT DOWN ANON FELLA

[wingenvy]

you're not CLAIMING it geez

if you were born there you have a right to be there, thats all. the world put you there so it has a responsibility to keep you

and if you're so worried about hurting the world then just work hard to protect it instead!

[moseyin]

[...maybe this is a good chance to pick Zack's brain on this without him knowing.]

And what if you've already screwed up that protecting thing

what if all you cant even manage to clean up your own messes and you just leave everything worse than it was before?

[wingenvy]

yeah, sure. and what if every time you try to save someone you end up losing them? what if you've got more strength than you know what to do with and it doesn't do a damn thing when it matters? what if you fight your whole life and just lose everything that mattered?

[buddy he has BEEN THERE]

keep going. as soon as you give up you're left in the red, but if you keep going, you can keep working at doing better next time! it's still your life to live.

[moseyin]

Theres no guarantee you'll ever be out of the red

And not just that. If youve got proof that you could make things worse
if you all but KNOW that going back wont help anyone, but staying away would

Would you really still go back? What if staying away is how you protect it

[wingenvy]

no such thing as guarantees ya nut

except I guarantee you won't be able to do anything good if you don't bother trying

so yeah I'd go back. a life with no risk sounds shitty to me

anyway everyone's their own worst critic. I bet there's a few people who're better off knowing you

[moseyin]

Is that all it takes

Just a few people who are better off

[wingenvy]

not even a few, just one

[It might sound overly simple, but it's always been enough for him.]

[moseyin]

No

Its not worth it

No one person is worth that

[wingenvy]

but you have to ask if a few people would be worth it? what's your number then? how many would it take?

[moseyin]

Thats not what I mean

I dont know how to explain it

[moseyin]

look just forget it im just thinking aloud

[wingenvy]

[WTF YOU CAN'T JUST DISMISS THAT YOU






.......wait]

if you say so

[wingenvy]

[AND THEN THERE IS A KNOCK ON CLOUD'S DOOR A FEW MINUTES LATER]

[moseyin]

[MAYBE IF HE DOESN'T ANSWER ZACK WON'T THINK HE'S IN HERE. Just. Staring at the door and willing Zack to leave]

[wingenvy]

[bitch he knows you're in there, he can SMELL the discomfort.]

If you don't open up in the next ten seconds I'm gonna kick the door down, and everybody's gonna get a daily view of your fine ass until I feel like fixing it.

[moseyin]

[UGH, ZACK!!

Cloud heaves a sigh before dragging himself up, shuffling over to the door and opening it to stare sulkily up at Zack. Are you here to yell at him. Let him rest.]

[wingenvy]

[wow dude you look like shit.

let's not open with that.]

You probably don't wanna talk about it, but I think that's why we should. And the hallway's a lousy place for it, so let me in, will ya?

[moseyin]

[Steps aside after another brief moment of sullen staring, shutting the door after Zack squeezes in.] Look...it's just thinking aloud. I already said I wasn't going back without you guys, so...

[wingenvy]

[yeah shut up just gonna stop you there.]

I'm not stupid, and you're not stupid, and we both know... y'know, both of those. So no bullshit.

[a quiet beat, and then-]

I'm not here to yell at you.

[which is... not a promise that he won't. he knows himself and his volume control. it's just not his intent.]

[moseyin]

[Folds his arms, leaning back against his desk and pressing his lips together.] ...so, what then?

[wingenvy]

[So...

...so, that's a good question, and one that Zack doesn't answer right away. Zack frowns, back rested against the door. What...?]

Say we did find a way to go back, and we wanted to. Would you?

[moseyin]

...Yeah. [Rubs at his eyes, hard enough to see spots.] But I'm not- I would still worry about this. I'm not just trying to make excuses to stay.

[wingenvy]

Can I ask what you think you did that was so terrible you don't deserve to go home?

[Because yeah, he's heard the story. There was good and bad. Cloud's not perfect, he made mistakes. So did everyone else.]

[moseyin]

[.......are you kidding man] Seriously? I- Zack. I've put Tifa in danger more times than I can count. I was useless when you needed me most. I gave Sephiroth the Black Materia. I got Aerith killed.