( how the dinosaurs died )

[dothelokimotion]

Who: Loki + You
Broadcast: Video
Action: Planetside
When: Right here, right now

[ the feed turns on, though it seems to start with a burst of static and a blurry screen before it finally seems to straighten itself out. though the scene you might be seeing seems a little . . . hard to take in. mostly because it looks like everything has been frozen. plants, grass and giant dinosaurs like T-Rexs that were in mid-lunge to bite on . . . a huddled lump who has a quilt over their head and cocooned deep within the covers. And also happens to be sneezing a lot. ]

This — [ loki sneezes, looking pale, harried and a little . . . blue. ] — Is the worst. Why is everything so — [ another loud sneeze. ] — uncomfortable?! And how do you make it stop?!

Comments

[dothelokimotion]

[ a slight chuckle which devolves into a shoulder-shaking sneeze. ]

I'll try to contain myself.

[sinistral]

[That sneeze gets a slightly tighter hold, both arms around Loki now to steady him. Fan theories for both men increase exponentially.]

A difficult task I'm sure. Are you sure you're up to the challenge?

[dothelokimotion]

[ a brief snort. ]

When am I not?

[ he wishes he could reach out in this form. touch. show his own way of appreciation. but loki keeps his hands to himself. his heart would shatter if he burned away bucky. ]

[sinistral]

Overachiever.

[It’s flat and attempting to sound unamused but a current of warmth creeps into his voice nonetheless. This probably shouldn’t feel as comfortable as it does, but here they are.]

Careful though, there’s some tricky footing through here.

[dothelokimotion]

One has to achieve things if you desire them.

[ it makes him feel better, oddly enough. like there is some warmth, even in this form of his. loki blinks blearily, walking with careful steps. nothing came his way, not easily. for all his princely privilege, loki still had to earn everything he had. he had to fight for it. ]

It's only this form, this nature I want nothing to do with.

[sinistral]

You’re tempting me to ask what it is you desire. Other than an end to the sneezing.

[Their conversation is almost like a spiral. Or perhaps a planetary orbit, moving at times closer to the heavy topics before cycling away again.]

Mmm. Because you perceive a monster?

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki huffs at that. ]

It is not merely — perception. Before I knew about this, Asgard, my family, Thor . . . they all hated Frost Giants. It was common to . . . speak of them negatively.

[ and loki is putting it in the nicest way possible. ]

It was as if I was taught to hate myself from the very beginning.

[sinistral]

What cruelty, and to a child. You don’t give me a favorable impression of Asgard.

[This isn’t something to be solved with a few pretty words. This isn’t even something for him to solve. It’s Loki’s struggle alone, and he knows well what it is to struggle against self-loathing. The most he can do, he thinks, is provide a show of support.]

I have little enough to offer that could counter such a weight but for whatever it’s worth, I see neither a monster nor a thing to hate.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he can't help a slight chuckle at that. ]

No. It was more fetid than I realized. From what happened to my older sister to what happened to me.

[ but it was his home. the only home loki had ever known. the only home loki had missed so deeply, like a permanent ache in his heart. he turns to face bucky slightly, red eyes. ]

What do you see then?

[sinistral]

There’s another story in there.

[It’s not a question but neither does it push for elaboration. There’s no simple black and white here and for all that he’d professed to preferring the shades of grey, they don’t always make for easy conversation.

His arms shift as Loki turns, trying to remain supportive lest another fit overcome him. He meets that gaze squarely.]

I see someone who was judged harshly and somewhat unfairly, but nowhere near as harshly as he’s judged himself. I see someone who’s been honest with me, and that’s a commodity in sadly short supply. I can’t help being selfish for it.

[dothelokimotion]

A long one.

[ it is difficult to keep eye-contact. loki almost wants to look away in shame and disgust, unable to meet that truth head-on. he's never been good at that. always perceptive about everyone else but himself. ]

I would never dismiss selfishness.

[sinistral]

Perhaps better saved for when we have time to kill. Maybe the next drift, and I will finally come to see your magical walls.

[The contact finally breaks when he glances away, eyes returning to the distance they still need to cross to make it to Loki’s shuttle. It’s not far, fortunately; he doesn’t like the thought of Loki having to suffer this illness for any longer than necessary.]

You flatter me by indulging it.

[dothelokimotion]

[ softly. ]

I'd like that.

[ he shakes his head. ]

It's not — It's not merely an indulgence. You know that, don't you?

[sinistral]

I’ll make sure to make it happen. And I suppose extend an invitation to the Starduck as well, though she’s not got anything as fancy.

[A small sound escapes him; it’s not quite a sigh but a little lighter, a little more comfortable.]

Can we not go back to the dictionary and choose the definition that states simply allowing ourselves the enjoyment of something pleasurable? [A beat.] But I know what you’re asking, and I know it’s not just some frivolous thing. I didn’t mean to imply that it might be; my tongue clearly isn’t as silvered as your own.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he smiles at that. ]

It doesn't need to be. I like it the way it is.

[sinistral]

Now you’re flattering.

[It makes him smile regardless.]

You’re probably one of very few who would think as such, so you do have my thanks.

[dothelokimotion]

You're welcome to it.

[ it's genuine, oddly enough. sentiment is hard to express but loki does try now and then. ]

[sinistral]

[It’s easy enough to lapse into silence then, helping Loki to navigate the trail with his left arm firmly wrapped around his waist, pausing when the sneezing overtakes him too much to make any progress.]

I’m sorry that this planet affected you so. It doesn’t seem fair.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki huffs at that. ]

I doubt it has much to do with fairness and more to do with the fact that I know nothing about this body.

[sinistral]

Even so, a chance to get off the ships for a while shouldn’t have this result.

[ pHe pauses, unsure of how to ask the sensitive question without offending. Ultimately though he decides to just go for it.]

Do you want to know this body? What it can do?

[dothelokimotion]

[ the answer comes easily. ]

No. It's not — Not mine. It is a stranger's and I have to keep it with me. It stems from a father who abandoned me and I'm tired of fathers.

[sinistral]

Mmm, I think I can understand that, when you put it that way. I can only assume you're like this because they thought it would somehow boost ratings, and I wish you didn't have to suffer to do it.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki sneezes. ]

It is just. Frustrating at best. It does not hurt overly much.

[ it only brings long forgotten fears to the surface. of golden men with spears and brothers with hammers. ]

[sinistral]

That's at least one good point. I wouldn't want to see you in pain.

[It's bad enough seeing the other man so inconvenienced by the planet's flora — at least, that's what he assumes is causing this reaction, though with the Atroma, he supposes there's no way to know for sure.]

Or I guess I should say more pain, on top of the inconvenience.

[dothelokimotion]

Pain is more of a, ah, state of mind.

[ he pauses, trying to find the right words. ]

It . . . does not bother me the way it would for other people. This is not a wound, just — a scar. Old and brittle. It no longer hurts but I don't enjoy looking at it.