When We're Rollin Through the Wild Wild West

[geonomy]

Who: Everyone! EVERYONE!
Broadcast: IF YOU WANNA
Action: Everywhere! EVERYWHERE!
When: Mid-September - Mid-October

[How's your ship doing, pardners? Is it still pretty damaged? Is it glitching out hardcore? Well, there is one place to land to take care of all that, and that's on a dusty old moon in front of a planet that no one wants to go to. On this moon, you'll find a civilization that looks a lot like one's stepped into a wild west movie, hardened cowpolk and mutant horses and all. Will you become a vigilante, hunting bounties and stopping gangs from doing their dirty work? Will you go exploring planetside, with a cowboy hat and a stalk of wheat in your mouth to complete the look? Good luck with that; there is no wheat. This town ain't big enough for all you flooters, but make it so! For the ratings!

In other words, it's a planet mingle! Get 'er done!]

[September Planet info here]

Comments

[goldenglasses]

Ah. Are you really sure an idea like that is a good idea on a planet like this?

[huaaaaagh]

Oh, who knows? We'll find out, I guess. But it's a good thing I have a peace-loving gunman bodyguard now, right?

[Feel free to regret this terrible decision you have made.]

[goldenglasses]

[He's regretting as he didn't really need to get his bounty any bigger.] Hahaha, y-yeah, good thing. Hahaha.







...wouldn't being a waitress be easier?

[huaaaaagh]

[Wow, some bodyguard. He's kind of a coward, isn't he?]

I'm not interested in easy jobs unless they pay well, and waiting on tables never does.

[Plus, knowing his current luck, someone would try to get him to wear a ridiculous maid outfit, and some misogynistic ass would slap his butt or something, and then he'd get fired for breaking a chair over their head.]

[goldenglasses]

It can if you wear a cute maid outfit! I think you should give that a try instead!

[Partly because he doesn't want the bounty he's already manged to get on his head to get any bigger.]

1/2

[huaaaaagh]

[....]

[huaaaaagh]

Ah, if I were a server, would you become my customer instead of my bodyguard?

[goldenglasses]

If that's what you'd like! But I could work a double shift too!

[Yay! Not causing trouble now! Because she's SERIOUSLY considering this. Obviously.]

[huaaaaagh]

So you'd wear a cute maid outfit, then?

[Thanks for volunteering.]

[goldenglasses]

W-what?! No! I meant bodyguard! Not a waiter!

[huaaaaagh]

[Yeah, that's what he thought.]

Eh? But why would I need a bodyguard for a safer job like waiting tables?

[goldenglasses]

For walking home late at night after a shift?

[huaaaaagh]

So you think I should work all day serving tables in a cute maid outfit, and you'll stand around watching and then take me home.

[j u d g i n g]

[goldenglasses]

Yeah! Let's do that instead! Sounds great!

1/2

[huaaaaagh]

[J U D G I N G]

[huaaaaagh]

Okay! Let's go find a sketchy bar to play cards in.

[goldenglasses]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Alriiiiiiiiiiiight. [If she's really going to do this, he'd rather go along and be sure nothing goes too horribly wrong.] I just want to say right now I think this is a bad idea.

[Says the guy who does this all the time.]

[huaaaaagh]

You opinion is noted.

[And pointedly ignored, as he spins on his heel and starts towards an especially noisy section of town, where the best bars can be found.]

[goldenglasses]

[Vash takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly in a long sigh. Hoping that maybe they'll be luckily enough to not run into trouble as he falls in step behind Kazuto.]

that was a very important not

[huaaaaagh]

[Hey, you wrote your own funeral, buddy. Don't complain about it now.

It doesn't take long for him to find a suitable bar- a muggy, dimly-lit locale full of grizzled cowboys. They're drinking, smoking, and sure enough, there's a couple of card games going on. It's just about the least suitable place for a thin, pale waif of a girl to hang out.

Kirito marches right in, not even checking to see if Vash is following, and peers over one of the cowboy's shoulder, putting on his best innocent expression.]

Excuse me, gentlemen, what are you playing...?

Only a lot! No biggie

[goldenglasses]

[Don't worry. Vash is following. It will be hard to miss him as just as the group started to grumble out their answer Orr poker (because what else is There? Old maid?) Vash busts through the door with a happy grin on his face.]

Oh boy! This looks like a great place to find some fun! Bar tender! A round of beer, please! [He pulls up a chair so there is still one for Kirito to sit down at as he lays a small wad of cash down on the table.] Deal me in! [Because what better way to check for signs of 'time to flee' then at the same table! That and maybe if he's bad at the look out thing Kirito will change their mind!]

[huaaaaagh]

[Kirito sits down as well, giving Vash a wary side-eye. They must look like a ridiculous pair- the tall, brightly-coloured man and the petite "girl" dressed all in black. At least the money's gotten their attention, and the men seem genuinely into it now. Putting on his best timid face, he shuffles an inch or two closer to the nearest man, feigning clueless interest.]

Ohh, can you teach me?

[Rather than concerned, he's mostly curious about what Vash's presence will do to his usual tactics. He makes sure to watch him as much as the rest of the table, while the man grins and starts running through the rules.]

[goldenglasses]

[Vash sits and drinks the large glass the bartender hands him and looks over his cards. He tries to lean in and joke with the other guys around the tablet, but they just grumble and ignore him. As long as his money lasts at least. Which doesn't seem to be something to worry about at the moment. He won't win big, but he always bounces back when he starts to lose so he never seems to be running out of money.

For the most part Vash will be a loud, slightly obnoxious, dork at the table and stay out of Kirito's way at the moment.]

[huaaaaagh]

[Maybe this guy's not such a loser after all. He's enough of a distraction that the other players aren't paying full attention, but not so much that Kirito himself can't concentrate on what he's doing. He plays dumb for a while, feigning enthusiasm during every explanation, laughing off each clumsy loss, until finally, with a childish giggle, he builds a hand that's good for a finale and raises the stakes with all he's got. Intrigued and smirking, the men follow suit, until the pot is good and fat. Just as planned.

He leans over to the man beside him, showing his hand curiously.]

Hey, is this a good one?

[The man leans back with a splutter, and he offers a bright smile to the table as he sets down a straight flush.]

How did I do?

[goldenglasses]

[Vash could sense what was coming if he had counted right; someone was very likely to have a flush or a straight. Perhaps both. He hadn't been paying enough attention to really know for sure or who as he was just trying to have fun winout losing the rest of his cash. So he folded his pair of kings just before the final round of betting.

So he grins as if he was expecting it when the cards are revealed.] Haha! Wow! That's really lucky! Miss Lady Luck could you give me a kiss and share some of it!