(no subject)

[beardstrokes]

Who: Obi-Wan Kenobi
Broadcast: Text
Action: Iskaulit
When: Jan 30th

A: TEXT

I think it's time I retire from teaching for a while.

I don't suppose anyone knows a decent way to pass the time?

B: ACTION

[ When Stefan announced the prayer room, a quiet place for meditation, Obi-Wan had been thrilled. While he enjoyed and cared for the Huntress, quiet is not something they are known for. After talking to Anakin, he knew he was in dire need of quiet and inner peace

He does not regret ( he can not regret )

And yet.

In a way he had envisioned as a child, it had always been Master and Padawan, together. Even when separate, they fought together, learned together, believed in each other. But Qui-Gon died all too soon, and for so long, Obi-Wan threw his hands up against tradition. When Yoda told him to be Anakin's master, he chose to be Anakin's friend. He did not caution against attachment, only warned where it might lead.

He breathes heavily, his legs folded on the mat. It's not working. The Force is still too quiet, too alien at this moment. It doesn't understand his sorrow.

Obi-Wan chuckles, opening his eyes and pushing his hair back. It should be used to that by now.

Looking down at his hands, he's quiet when he speaks. ]

Please help me.

Comments

[beardstrokes]

Yes, well . . .

[ He sighs. ]

He did get that from his Master.

[resnipstance]

Oh?

Correct me if I have the story wrong, but... you weren't actually his master yet when they first met. Right?

[beardstrokes]

I was not.

[ He smiles wryly. ]

But I was speaking of Qui-Gon.

[resnipstance]

Well, from what I've heard, Master Qui-Gon was a great Jedi. Wasn't he? So maybe being a little like him isn't such a bad fate.

... If he was here right now, what do you think he'd have to say about all this?

[beardstrokes]

[ Probably something along the lines of "You failed me, Obi-Wan. You promised to teach the Chosen One. It was my dying wish. What have you done?"

It was, sadly, a common trail of thought that comes from the heels of his discussion of Anakin. But Qui-Gon is dead and Anakin is not. ]

I don't know, Ahsoka.

[ And that much is true. He's not sure what Qui-Gon would actually say. And even if he did, Obi-Wan would have done it anyway. ]

[resnipstance]

Well... neither do I. But what I do know is-- any time you or anyone else ever spoke of him, he sounded wise. And patient, and understanding. And... maybe the tiniest bit rebellious, too.

[beardstrokes]

[ Dryly. ]

He did have a habit of defying the Council.

[ But Ahsoka has a point. He trained Anakin the best he could. The rest is up to the Force. ]

[ He huffs lightly with a small smile. ]

I'm really not acting like myself today.

[resnipstance]

Don't we all have days like that?

I'm not a Jedi any more, Obi-Wan. You don't have to hide your feelings or anything around me, if you're worried about setting a bad example.

[beardstrokes]

I try to make sure they're few and far between.

As for setting an example, I usually try to set those for myself first, before I hold anyone else to it.

[resnipstance]

I meant more...

Hmm. My relationship with Anakin isn't the same anymore, and... neither is ours. I guess if I had a hope for the future, it would be that you could see me more as a friend, rather than as someone you can't open up around.

[beardstrokes]

That might . . . take some time.

[ He's a little set in some things. ]

But I'm not saying it can't happen.

[resnipstance]

I figured.

Old habits and so on, right?

[beardstrokes]

I am quite old now.

[ And he's feeling it. ]

Though I'll never reach Yoda's status.

[resnipstance]

I don't think there's many who could.

[beardstrokes]

No.

[ Which reminds him. He owes her some information. ]

Yoda believes we will not win the war. He said as much to me. Han Solo and the others have . . . confirmed it for me.

[ Kanan's identity, however, he'll continue to protect. ]

[resnipstance]

[... Oh. Oh. Is this what she's been sensing that's been weighing on him so much? Well, she DID want Obi-Wan to share more. She should have been more careful what she wished for.

For a moment, Ahsoka just stares at him, eyes wide in surprise and confusion. Stunned. Unlike Obi-Wan, such a fate had never even occurred to her. Ahsoka has matured so much, but she is still young and naive in so many other respects. She wants the war to end, without question. And she has her misgivings about the Order now, too. But that doesn't mean she wants the Republic to lose. She isn't sure how to take this news at all. ... Finally:]

... What?

Then-- what happens to the Separatists? [She isn't sure she should even be asking. Is this knowledge for her ears? ... But Obi-Wan has started down the path. She has to know.]

Do they... successfully form a new state? Under Dooku? [Ugh!]

[beardstrokes]

No. You could say the Separatists and the Republic end up being defeated.

[ As a forethought. ]

As well as the Jedi. That's why I encouraged Anakin's decision and told him the truth.

[ He pauses, quiet. Even now, just speaking about it hurts. It's not simply the knowledge of it.

It was the way Caleb spoke about it. That made so real. For Leia and Han, it was history. Terrible history, but history nonetheless.

Caleb lived it. ]

[resnipstance]

[Ahsoka's eyebrows furrow in confusion.]

... What do you mean? How can both sides be defeated? That doesn't make any sense.

[beardstrokes]

[ He steeples his fingers together. ]

The whole thing was orchestrated by the Sith Lord. To drain resources from both sides and then claim it all for himself. We all sensed it, in a way. How wrong the war was, how the reasons it was built on were flimsy.

It was simply too late.

[resnipstance]

What...?

[Watch the slowly dawning horror on Ahsoka's face as the gears turn in her head and she processes the words Obi-Wan is saying. As the full ramifications of those few sentences begin to play out in her mind.

That the Clone Wars aren't even real. That everything they fought for was a sham. That she was never fighting for peace-- she was fighting for a Sith. That all those people, all those clones, all those Jedi died for nothing.]

... No ...

[Her head shakes from side to side just once as she says it. An unconscious reflex, a desperate effort to reject what Obi-Wan is saying, even though she knows he's telling the truth.]

[beardstrokes]

[ The Force hums softly. He hasn't compromised Kanan's identity and he's told what he can. It's not up to him now, not entirely. To carry it all would not work.

But Ahsoka and Anakin have left. Which means the seeds of a different Jedi have been planted.

Maybe if he's lucky, he won't survive it.

( but he doesn't believe in luck. )

He waits. There's no point saying more. ]

1/2

[resnipstance]

[Obi-Wan's silence is worse than anything. Say it's not true, she wants to yell. But Obi-Wan wouldn't lie. Not about this.

Ahsoka jumps to her feet suddenly, as if burned by the floor. She can't sit down anymore. But she doesn't know what to do now that she's standing, either. She needs to move. She needs to throw up. She needs to punch something. She needs to yell, or cry, or something.

She starts pacing instead. She opens her mouth to talk several times, but she isn't able to form full sentences. Every thought she has seems to die before it's fully out of her mouth.]

But that's--

... How did we not--

I can't-- how did you--

There's no way--

[resnipstance]

[Then another fresh thought seems to occur to her, and she stops dead in her tracks, looking at Obi-Wan despairingly.]

... Barriss was right.

[beardstrokes]

[ That stirs him into action. His expressions tightens and his eyes flash. ]

Barriss had a point. A rather common one, actually, which is shared among many Jedi. The difference between them and Barriss is that they didn't kill people to prove it.

It would have been one thing to attack the Council. It's another to attack people who did not have a choice in the matter whatsoever.

[resnipstance]

[Ahsoka shakes her head dramatically, frustrated that he'd even think for a second that's what she meant.]

No, I-- I agree with you! Of course I agree with you. What she did was wrong. No question. I'll never forgive her for it. Nothing justifies the killing of innocent people.

I was referring to what she said. At my trial. Remember? She called us... an army, "fighting for the Dark Side."