001. video

[cephalon]

Who: Ordis and YOU
Broadcast: Video
Action: On the Marsiva
When: Now

[It isn't peaceful when the man in the broadcast finally stirs awake. One moment he's merely laying there, awkwardly nude and as still as death, the next he's a flailing mass of limbs that succeeds at knocking himself to the floor. There's a grunt as he meets the floor, and what ensues is a rather odd struggle as he tries unsuccessfully to untangle himself. The best he can manage is a disorganized heap, arms caught beneath his torso and cheek pressed uncomfortably into the floor as he very adamantly voices his displeasure.]

Ordis demands to know what is going on immediately!

[There's certainly anger in his tone, but beneath it there's notes of increasingly uncontrolled alarm, which only seem to increase exponentially with each word. Strangely though, it doesn't seem as though he's quite used to the act of even speaking though, as he struggles to unpin his arms, his hands fly to his face and fingers probing about his features with almost frenetic energy. It can't be pleasant, because there's an exlimation of surprise and pain that has him jerking back and staring wide eyed and horrified down at his arms.]

What is this?!?

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video

[lord_wizard]

Arms, I dare say...

[He's feeling in a helpful mood, clearly.]

[cephalon]

Ordis can see that!

[There's a rising note of hysteria as he continues.]

What Ordis is questioning is why -these fleshy pulsating- they are here!

[lord_wizard]

[Being made of flesh, he feels a tiny bit offended by that for some reason]

I gather they weren't before. What did you look like before you got here?

[cephalon]

Where is 'here'?

[That's the most important thing, right? Right.]

Ordis is a cephalon. Ordis is stationed in the Operator's personal spacecraft.

[Because that makes complete sense.]

Ordis is the ship.

[lord_wizard]

This is the Drift Fleet, as they refer to it. More abstractly, here is 'space', though likely not any you may recognize.

[He doesn't really understand what the guy is getting at but the syntax is amusing]

Ordis currently appears to be a human and not...hm...what is a cephalon?

[cephalon]

The 'Drift Fleet' is not a recognized name in the system. What is its origins? Grineer? Corpus? Certainly not Tenno.

[Definitely not Tenno.]

Ordis is not Orokin. Greedy, filthy things they are. Ordis is a cephalon, series-2, in commission and service to his Operator. Ordis runs and keeps the Operator's personal spacecraft in working order and assists the Operator with all tasks he may need.

[lord_wizard]

I don't know where it's from. Not your world or even your universe.

[He feels like maybe he should be offended]

Not anymore you aren't. Today you are human and you'll shortly be helping to run whatever ship you are to be assigned to.

[pompous_today]

What's the matter? Are you injured?

[cephalon]

Ordis is not further degraded!

[He's a bit indignant at that accusation.]

[pompous_today]

Well, pardon my rudeness. What seems to be the trouble, then?

[cephalon]

[How does one even go about explaining that the sensation of flesh is incredibly disconcerting? Really, there aught to be a proper way. Instead he just manages to motion to himself with one hand.]

All of this!

[pompous_today]

Your body is the problem?

[cephalon]

Yes! It is not Ordis' body! Ordis is not sure whom it belongs to, but it is not Ordis'!

ARE YOU READY OR WHAT

[pain_train]

What's what? Your face? Don't poke yourself, you're going to like put your eye out and that hurts, trust me. And then they have to give you a robot eye, and it's actually kind of cool because then you can like see infrared and watch porn whenever you want but. Uh. It really hurts first okay, so I don't recommend it.

Um, so your name is Ordis? I'm Lieutenant Wrath!

SO READY

[cephalon]

[What? What that's so many words, he's never heard anyone go on that much, aside from Alad, and frankly he has no positive feelings for the man so he's left actually momentarily distracted as he tries to sort through all of the information. In the end, he gives up and decides that being upset is far more worth his time.]

What is going on!!

lol oh god

[pain_train]

[Oh god, is he going to like, fucking stroke out because he's so upset? Well, Wrath defaults back to the militia way of dealing with freak outs: stern, confident lieutenant voice.]

Calm down. Deep breaths.

[Civilians, how the fuck do they work?]

[cephalon]

Ordis does not need breaths this is illogical and disgusting and -this lump of meat-

[Admittedly, he's actually winding himself just a little bit, and it's such a strange and foreign feeling that it feeds back on itself, causing the hysteria to grow.]

[pain_train]

[Okay, she has a guess what's going on here, after dealing with Delta and Sigma.]

You actually do have to breathe, whether you want to or not. You need to calm the fuck down before you stroke out. Ordis.

You're a computer person, right? They stuck you in like a vat clone body or something.

[cephalon]

Ordis is not a computer!

[He can at least muster up the energy to be indignant about that. A computer, really.]

How would you like it if Ordis called you a kubrow, hm? The both of you have hair that sheds and drool and could track dirt all over Ordis' nice clean interior! Of course you're the same thing!

[Well, at least he's not hyperfocused on the situation at hand anymore.]

Everything doesn't look in Ordis rn

[tennohno]

[He had been meditating by one of the windows of the ship, trying to contemplate where else to search for his gear. However all of that came to a screeching halt. Quite literally. He didn't catch most of had been said except for someone freaking out. It sounded...familiar. But he didn't want to get his hopes up.]

It'd be best if you weren't howling like a kubrow over comms. Breathe.

[However he soon realizes that the man on the other end is quite naked. Heat hits his cheeks and he looks away. Was decency something not everyone knew? Where was this man's clothes?]

Also cover yourself.

is that a PUN

[cephalon]

[Why is everyone telling him to breathe? Breathing is the last thing he wants to be doing because it's awkward and wrong and what is going on and was he just compared to a kubrow because that isn't okay in the slightest.

There's an answering garbled noise, glitchy and frankly inhuman, and he doesn't care in the slightest about the chiding. Garments are frankly the least of his worries right now. And while there's something familiar to the voice, he's not entirely in the right state of mind to place it.]

No you're a kubrow!

[What an astoundingly mature response.]

A necessary one

[tennohno]

[The Tenno gives a slight frustrated grunt. This person was still shouting and--what was that noise he just made?]

Do you even know what a kubrow is? Now chill out. You're going to hurt yourself if you don't relax.

[cephalon]

Of course Ordis knows what a kubrow is! They are disgusting creatures that emit unpleasant odors, track muddy prints through Ordis' clean interior, and drool on every available surface!

[He certainly does not appreciate the questioning of his intelligence.]

[tennohno]

[He wants to argue about how they don't do that but promptly shuts his mouth to think. The voice glitching made sense let alone the voice itself and the third person. That lieutenant had talked about AI getting bodies but...no. He had to make sure.]

...Ordis?

[cephalon]

Ordis' name is Ordis, yes. That is not the issue called into question at this moment.