mk.04 (text)

[paraclete]

Who: Kaworu Nagisa and anyone who has the time to read his super boring blogpost (or anyone who's having tech troubles?!)
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: N/A
When: 6/6

I did something recently, and I was reminded of how enjoyable it is. So: you can let me know if you're trying to repair or operate any electronics, and I can help. :)

It led me to something interesting, though. Fleet, I'm wondering: can you trace the lines of your special course back to one outstanding event? There are many things which contribute to the quality and experience of a person's life -- first love, rebellion against authority, the realization of goals; death and loss, apathy then grief; the stunning circumstances surrounding a birth. But maybe there's a day that prophesied your fate, and it could be that, at the time, you had no idea an extraordinary event was happening. That's how it happened for me. I couldn't have known that the day of one person's birth was enough to present me with purpose. It would take some time for me to realize that. It's a joy to know that this one event which was predestined for me is something to be celebrated. What about you? The moment that stands out to you as fate's hand, did you know right away that it would change your life? Or were you blindsided?

Now, while I'm thinking of all that... I'd like to request something of Ikari Shinji-kun.

Comments

text.

[astrobleme]

[Shinji knew it was naïve to hope that today, of all days, could pass by without comment or fanfare. It was as futile as hoping for a planet with a sandy beach and a clear blue ocean, but that didn't stop him from hoping. Still, he's physically cringing when he goes to check the network and sees all of this. It's a lot of pressure to put on one person... in public, even...

Extraordinary event. God help him.]

I'm here. What do you need, Kaworu-kun?

[paraclete]

[Shinji could at least be grateful that Kaworu can't send him giant glitter text or sparkly Blingee Valentines.]

I know that usually, I come to you, and I'm happy with that, but I'm wondering if you'll come to me today. I'm asking you to meet me in my quarters.

[astrobleme]

[Shinji should be grateful, period. He should be very grateful that anyone would decide that today is a day worthy of celebration. But he's having trouble seeing past all those years he spent sitting beside the phone, waiting for a call that never came. A call that will never come. Disappointment like that is strong enough to penetrate a black hole.]

Yeah, I can do that. I will.

Should I bring anything with me?

[paraclete]

[Thanks in part to his preachy post, how Kaworu feels about Shinji's birthday is unambiguous... But he knows there's no way to make up for the years he couldn't be there to share his joy with Shinji. From the start, Shinji should have been able to feel that the day of his birth was a wonderful occasion. He should have been able to feel that the start of his life made people happy. This is the first time, ever, that Kaworu's been able to express this sort of celebration. It's years late, and he knows that.]

You're all I need to make this perfect.

The door will be closed when you get here, but definitely come in!

[He's been preparing for this, so it's easy to set up the room the rest of the way. He wishes he could have gotten a wealth of flowers... But the plain decor and slight clutter of his bunk are the only backdrop he has right now. Since that's not the focus of this event, it should be fine...

Whenever Shinji shows up, there will be more than knowledge or gut instinct to indicate Kaworu's place. Even before Shinji arrives, there's music fluttering down the corridor. It's definitely no grand piano — the notes sound a little tinny — but it couldn't be a recording, either... It will sound too familiar to Shinji for that.]

[astrobleme]

Be there soon.

[Shinji takes the time to wash his face, brush his hair, and choose an outfit that doesn't make him look like a degenerate (khaki pants, black shirt with a collar, a touch of personal anguish). On the shuttle to the Vanquish, he tries not to cry. It's a very near thing, but he looks out at the stars and they help him to calm down. These stars might not be his stars, but they're no less brilliant and unchanging for it.

He's fewer than a dozen steps into Kaworu's ship when he hears the music. It doesn't halt him completely, but he slows down, dragging his feet a little. He wonders if that is what he thinks it is, or if his birthday invited in some auditory hallucinations. Once he reaches Kaworu's room, he can't go another step. He just braces himself against the wall, one hand shielding his eyes, not making a sound. He's listening to that familiar, heart-clutching refrain. That's definitely Kaworu playing in there-- A while ago, Shinji said he could tell how Kaworu was feeling by the way he played piano. Shinji could tell when something bad was bothering his best friend, but all he hears right now is unfathomable joy. Kaworu is playing this beautifully for him, because of him...

Kaworu told him to come in, but Shinji has no desire to interrupt. He waits until the piece is winding down before he opens the door a slight, slight amount to peer inside.]

Kaworu-kun?

[His voice is slight, too. It's a sliver of hope that doesn't belong on his birthday.]

text.

[interstices]

[Dear God, will he ever stop sounding like a high philosophy professor?]

I didn't.

Are you sure you don't need anything?

[paraclete]

[Maybe someone ought to tell him he sounds like a pretentious jackwad. Whatever, his vibe is too bright to harsh right now; not even the loom of spending time with Shikinami is going to daunt him too extremely.]

Really? That's a bit surprising...

I have everything ready. How much time do you need?

[interstices]

[Someday when it's not Shinji's birthday, Asuka might oblige. Might. But today she's far too determined to make things go well to snipe, no matter how easy he makes it.]

Why is that surprising?

Okay. I don't need any.

[paraclete]

From what I understand, you've had several experiences that were [...] particularly life-changing. It seemed like none of that should have happened to you, and I wondered if perhaps you felt that way about it too.

[But, uh, that's kind of awkward, so: ]

I'll try not to take too long. When we're finished here, we'll probably take it to his quarters so that it can be kept there. After that...

text.

[collegedropout]

Ha, mine would probably sound crazy.

[paraclete]

If you'd like to share it, I promise I won't say it's crazy.

:)

[collegedropout]

The smiley is a concern in any other situation, but I'll believe you.

I think mine was when I was six months old. My mom died, and my dad, well. He decided to go after the thing that did it. I guess there could be other outstanding events that might have been that moment, but this is the first one I think of.

[paraclete]

Well, I won't use another smile right now, because what you've just told me isn't something to smile about. But be assured that I do not think it's crazy. In fact...

Our progenitors are a large part of who we may come to be.

You were introduced to the concepts of loss and retribution before you understood anything other than what you needed to survive. I'm not surprised that it had a hand in shaping your life.

[forcesensitive]

oh yeah i know exactly when it happened

[paraclete]

Sometimes it does happen that way. Would you like to talk about it? :)

[forcesensitive]

well its like i was talking about to anakin destiny can only show you the path you have to decide to take the first step it can take you to places you never imagined but you gotta make the choice and take the step

[paraclete]

That's a fantastic way to put it! I believe that everything has a destiny, but "choice" is one of the most precious things an individual can have. If something is stripped of its ability to choose, it's left with very little.

text

[wolfehawke]

[Well this is interesting, and it's caught Adalwolfe at an introspective moment. What had lead him to where he is? Or at least where he was before being dumped into space.]

When an ancient Elven dragon god tells you to jump into the figurative abyss to see if you can fly, it's a bit difficult to pretend that your future is completely mundane.

[paraclete]

[There's no room for Kaworu to judge, given the context of his own life, but Elves and dragons — those are pretty new to him. However... the heart of the comment, that's something he can understand.]

I imagine you couldn't really get around it, at that point, yeah. I'm assuming you flew?

[wolfehawke]

I'd like to think so.

[But more like one of those little birds that always looks like it's about to crash than something as majestic as a dragon. He's nearly flightless.]

At least, I succeeded in helping to change the world. Whether that was for the better or not has been the subject of much debate.

[paraclete]

For better or for worse, change heralds the future. If what you did left a negative mark, it just means that you've invited the positive.

:)

text;

[beathach]

[the irony of having been thinking about this the other day, but in another context]

I had no idea what would happen but yes, I can trace it back.

[paraclete]

How do you feel about that? I think that some might find it comforting, or some might find it stressful.

[beathach]

At the time it was both. Now, it's more comforting.

It isn't extraordinary compared to say, a birth or anything like that. But it's the moment that my life was changed, instead of where I thought it would go.

[paraclete]

If it affected you, and more than that, if it comforts you, isn't it extraordinary? I think so. Even if it's a different sort of thing.

:)