driftfleet | Let's all hold hands and sing Kumbaya

[ he chuckles softly; they're so cheesy and he doesn't care one bit. ]

It's a pretty amazing feeling, isn't it?

It's amazing. Best telepathic experience ever. [She kisses his throat affectionately.] I love you too.

[ definitely much better than his other telepathic experience but he's going to aggressively not think about that and just focus on kitty here because he's so happy - and he just wants to be happy. ]

Mmmhm. Today's a great day.

It is. [But she feels a hint of something there.] And it still is even if not every thought or feeling is the best. I promise.

I know.

[ but he just wants to be uncomplicated - for one day, he just wants to be happy inside and out, nothing else. why can't he do it? why can't it ever just be simple? ]

Nothing's gonna change how amazing today was. Sure, it'd get depressing to think back on if you dump me or something [ trying very hard not to think about what or something stands for. ] but it would still have been a great day. [ a pause. ] But don't dump me, that'd ruin all those great dates we haven't gone on yet.

[ there he goes rambling again. why. why. ]

Hey, hey... [She brushes back his hair.] No part of me wants to lose you or let you go.

[They met over rambling and here they are. Don't let it scare you.] Do you worry about that?

Well, I mean you're - you're you.

[ she's amazing, she's even smarter than him he's pretty sure which is the one thing he's always had going for him - and she's beautiful, she's brave, she's funny, she's strong, she's sweet, she's friendly, she's just...she's kitty. and he's...him. he's not brave, he's not strong, he doesn't look like steve rogers...he knows she loves him, but he also knows she's out of his league and what if one day he'll prove how true that is? ]

And you're you. [She kisses his temple.] I worry about those things too.

[ him being him is exactly why she has nothing to worry about, he thinks, but doesn't say it. instead, he smiles. ]

Maybe I should call Simon, I think you might've hit your head harder than we thought -

I'm serious. It's not that hard to believe a sweet, thoughtful, smart, gorgeous guy like you should be with someone better for him than a former assassin. [Should, not even could, but could too.] Someone who goes into survival mode when she feels vulnerable with a concussion and knows she can't phase properly even though she's surrounded by people who just want to help her.

Hey -- hey.

[ he pushes himself up to a sitting position; this is important. ]

You are not a former assassin. You've never killed for anything but survival or protection, right?

[ so that's what that was. he should have figured it out, he's such an idiot. ]

Well, no, but... It wasn't always in the moment. I was the one who carried out some of the strategic hits. Like warlords and high ranking personnel of Apocalypse. People who were running prison camps and genetic harvesting operations. I've killed people while they were still sleeping. [She needs to be honest with him because she doesn't want to be with someone who can't accept her for who she is or was, but it also makes her nervous. Maybe he talked himself into a narrative he could live with and maybe this isn't it.]

Kitty it was war, and it was terrible. It doesn't make you an assassin it makes you a soldier.

[ it's no different than dating a veteran to him. it hurts that she had to do that, and in some ways - yes. it hurts that she could. but these were terrible people, monsters, and her world didn't leave room for options, that's what he keeps reminding himself. he led a sheltered life, she didn't. if he can't understand what a situation this dire feels like - he can't pass judgment on it. if she killed someone in their sleep on the fleet or in national city - yeah, that would be completely different. but in her world? he can't say he wouldn't have done the same in her shoes. it's like they discussed - circumstances change a person. ]

Come here - [ he pulls her into his arms ] Listen to me - I love you. I'm sorry...I didn't see what was going on on the Iskaulit - I was too busy freaking out because you were hurt and I don't know what I'd ever do if anything happened to you.

[She wraps her arms around him and sinks in against him, face pressed in against his chest.] You didn't do anything wrong. You were worried about me. We're still learning what we need from each other. Maybe this planet will help us learn.

[She worries about what she's still capable of and what she's not capable of now. She feels a need to be able to rely on her quick reactions and she's afraid they might not be there especially after Winter managed to get a hit in like he did when she was trying to protect him during their fight too. It feels like anyone he hurt after her is on her conscious now. But also, what if she does let go and kills someone? It wouldn't be without cause. But would it be...necessary under these circumstances? She's so conditioned for the ones she was in, will she know the difference if it comes to that?]

[ he believes that she will, he believes in her, in her good heart. he has his own fears, his own worries about what he might do, what he might turn into because of circumstances, or the augment, or...losing the wrong person. but he has to believe that they'll make the right choices. ]

Maybe.

[ probably. talking is like pulling teeth for him, it's so hard. he's been taught for so long that he can't talk, that it's wrong for him to talk, and he's been afraid to for most of his life, afraid to be more trouble than he's worth. from that perspective, this planet's a relief - he doesn't have to worry about forcing himself to find words and battle with those fears - all he has to do is take her hand. but then, it also leaves him exposed, airs out all those things that may end up with her deciding...he's not worth it after all. it's not fair, he's a good person, he tries, and he tries his hardest. why can't he just belong? ]

Anyway, my point is -- if I'm all those things you say - then I should be with the person who makes me happy. And that person - is you.

I like that point. [She tips her head back so she can find his lips.] I want to be with the person who makes me happy too.

[And in that moment something clicks more than it ever has before. Winn Schott is the person who makes her happy. Maybe more than anyone else in her life ever has before. Yeah, he's going to need a better kiss for that.]

[ he happily returns that kiss, an overwhelming swell of joy rising up inside of him as he feels that realization hit. he's radiating it so hard, she could feel it with or without the planet's peculiarity. ]

[She doesn't stop to tell him she loves him. She exudes love through their link and keeps kissing him until she's breathless and then just a little bit longer.]

[ when they break apart, he's too breathless for words. this feels like the sort of romance you only see in movies and yet somehow - it's his real life. that's one gift he's not going to question.

he leans his forehead against hers, just trying to catch his breath. ]

[She smiles even as she fights to breathe normally again.] This is amazing.

Amazing doesn't do it justice.

[ kitty's feelings feel like near perfect compensation for all those years he's spent starved for affection. ]

[That's a lot to live up to. Then again it's a lot to live up to for her too when she spent so long losing people.] You planned the perfect date. The planet might have helped just a little, but you're pretty great.

[ she's already living up to it. he was really starting to think it was impossible for anyone to care this much about him. ]

Planning is my forte.

You have a lot of fortes. You should give some back. It's an unfair forte abundance.

Says the hot genius with superpowers.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject