driftfleet | though it hurts to breathe

Entry tags:

though it hurts to breathe

Who: Raven, Hank, Charles and Erik
Broadcast: No
Action: On the Heron
When: Now onwards!

[ It had taken her a little while to calm down with Hank at her side, long enough that she's practically itching to make her way over to the Heron as soon as she can, device in her hand - the temptation to text ahead, to make sure they're really there, that they're okay, is almost a little too daunting and there's not much Raven can do other than force herself to stop. She's stronger than this, true, but coming out of the other side of something as horrendous as Apocalypse and standing tall, waking up on the Fleet, trying to figure out if she can handle it all again - it's too much.

The only thoughts in her mind are that she needs to find Charles, she needs to find Erik, and she needs to make sure they're alive, that they're safe, that they're here. This is going to be impossibly difficult for all four of them, Hank at her side, but they could work through it. They beat an all powerful mutant 'God', they came together as a family and they worked, hard, to make sure they all came out alive the other side.

What was the Fleet after all that?

It doesn't take her long to break away from Hank into a practical run as she reaches the Heron, a flash as she makes her way down the hall to find the other two mutants. Erik is important in her mind, of course, but her first instinct is to call out for Charles, standing outside the door and pressing her fingers against it, afraid for a moment that he won't answer, that he won't be there. The fear grips her, and her hands shake, but she does it anyway, knocking and calling for her brother.

After that, later... Well, she has to take time to calm down. Once she's sure Charles is safe, that Erik is safe, she can actually move to relax herself, the weight on her shoulders fading away. It takes time, but it happens, slowly... But she doesn't leave. She doesn't feel like she can leave either of them, and she wonders how they're going to handle that. ]

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[The last time he'd seen Raven was at a distance; watching her prepare the X-Men in the Danger Room, as he got ready to leave. It wasn't so long ago, not really. A couple of weeks. It hadn't hurt to leave, knowing as he did that he couldn't stay. Not when there were things he had to do, for himself and no one else.

There is a measure of relief in seeing her again, little expected though it had been when he left the school. His fingers twitch a bit at the touch, but he allows it. He tilts his head towards her, slightly more unkempt than he'd been while staying at the school.]

So it would seem.

[ She doesn't say much, not at first; for a long moment all she can do is bask in the fact that he's here, beside her, that she can reach out and touch his hand and know that he's real. She had been so afraid that she might have woken up to a world where Charles and Erik had stayed back at the mansion, or where she and Hank had awoken together to find that the other two had no idea what they were talking about.

It's strange, to find some kind of relief in pain, but at the same time it's familiar. It makes sense, and that makes it easier. Erik is here, and he remembers, and he looks the way she remembers him when she had been around the mansion putting things back together, and as much as her heart hurts she knows that she's managing.

There's no point questioning him about his relationship with Charles right now - something that would definitely be too raw and painful. Instead, she moves a little closer, resting her forehead on his arm. ]

I'm glad you're here, Erik.

It's good to see you. [It sounds noncommittal, and in a way maybe it is. He means it, in every fibre. Saying he's glad to be here, though, isn't something he can do. He doesn't know how he feels about that. It's different from before - all those years ago - where he remembers his intense frustration at being trapped. Now... now. What now?]

I trust you're well.

I'm better now.

[ Which is a slight understatement. She has to try and smother the panic and the uncertainty that came when she woke up -- she still feels a little out of sorts, and she feels her heart racing, but she moves closer, not wanting to be too far from Erik's orbit. She's still trying to make sure that he's okay, even though she isn't, not really, and being near him helps. ]

I didn't do as well when I first woke up.

I'm sure you did better than me. [Some panels are slightly off-centre in the walls of the Heron, the odd metal object randomly on the floors. The only vestiges of his first explosion of confusion and distress upon waking. Even so, he says it lightly, and pats her shoulder.]

Maybe. [ She woke up and basically had a panic attack - she's come down from it, and she's better now that Charles is around, but she can't help but focus on Erik, her eyes dancing over his face before she breathes out gently. ] How are you feeling? Do you need anything?

[There's a tightness around his eyes that speaks to some hidden mood. Despite the long sleep, he doesn't feel rested. The situation he's found himself in is... complicated. He had fallen asleep in an isolated cabin, and woken up in space again, surrounded by the people he cares most for and a myriad of others. The adjustment is difficult.

Charles had asked what he needed too, and he knows it's out of concern. The fact of the matter is, it's not a question he can answer, and he doesn't want people to harp on it too long.] No, I have what I need. I know you're all right.

[ Raven accepts that as it is; if there was something Erik wanted her to do for him then he'd have said it and not beaten around the bush. There's no point in pushing and pushing when she knows that if he needed anything from her he'd voice it, and she's fine with that.

Instead, she moves, careful, and shifts. Her arms move up and, slowly, she goes to wrap her arms around him, to try and draw him close and bask in the fact that he's here. None of them might be at all 'okay', but they're trying, and that's what is important, she thinks. ]

That's what I needed, too.

[He doesn't stiffen at the embrace the way he used to, back in the Fleet. Those barriers were long gone, for the two of them. After a moment he gives in to it himself, bringing his arms up around her back. He exhales softly, pushing back against the dark thoughts hovering at the edges of his mind. They can wait.]

[ There's no pause, now that the two of them are close. Raven wraps her arms around him and presses forward, squeezing Erik into her arms and resting there. It's hard not to bask in the fact that he's here and he's alive, and that he remembers, and she closes her eyes as she turns her head to press it into the side of Erik's neck.

Her family is here, and it warms her, and Raven has to consciously remind herself to breathe after a sharp moment. ]

[Erik feels disjointed, too many conflicting feelings pulling him every which way. He's relieved to see Raven and Hank. That they're fine and aware of the situation eases things somewhat, compared to the alternative. But he can't react with the same level of sheer exhilaration and happiness that he just saw between Charles and Raven. He doesn't have it in him. The three of them were part of one world, and he was part of another, even if ties exist between the two. And with Charles here... what once was close was now hesitant and anesthetized. It's safer for both of them.

At least Charles can feel safe with Raven and Hank. Erik's glad for that much.

He pulls out of the hug after a few moments, watching her face.] How's Hank?

[ She might be a little awkward when it comes to emotions and being around people - years of isolation and singular living might do that to a person - but she's not an idiot. Raven knows Erik, and she knows how his moods work, how he works; they lived together for months, not just around each other on the Fleet but back in the early days, too, and while time had changed and reshaped him she still knew his core.

Her hand stays in his, not letting him pull away, demanding intimacy from him in the same way she would Charles. She had told him, clearly, that he was her family and she was his - and there was no running away from that. You have me. You have Charles... That's what I've come here to tell you.

Making a soft noise, she ducks her head, almost shy. ]

He's fine. He seems to be... Handling it.

There's not much else to be done about it.

[They handle it, or they'll crack.]

It feels like the same thing over and over again. Something happens and we just have to deal with it.

[ Raven sighs, frowning. ]

It's just levels of extreme now.

[That draws one huff of laughter out of him.] It better not be the same thing over again. Once was enough.

I don't know. I don't think I quite had my fill of being locked in a weird anti-mutation chamber.

[ Sarcasm comes a little too easy, and she glances up at him, almost sly. ]

[He had heard about that, in the weeks after Cairo when they all had time to talk, really talk.] Not enough time to work out how to break free?

Not enough time to kick Stryker's ass for daring to lock me up in the first place.

You'll get him. [There's no doubt in his mind that Raven and the X-Men could handle someone as vile as Stryker.]

Give it time.

Don't tempt me. I'm supposed to be a good influence now, remember? [ Teaching the X-Men and everything. ] But if he threatens them, well. Accidents happen.

Charles is the good influence. You can be what you need to be. [And if that entails a harsher hand in a fight, then so be it. He can't picture Raven as a model teacher. An effective one, yes. But not saintly.]

How has it been? The training.

I'm the one that told them not to worry about controlling their powers. Charles might have had something to say about that.

[ She does her best to look somewhat innocent, though she's sure it doesn't work. ]

They remind me of us, when we first started.

[He shifts uncomfortably, not wanting to think about the past like that. Too much of it is close to the surface already, plucking on his nerves like an inexperienced harpist.]

There's value in learning your limits, beyond controlling them.

We don't want anyone's head exploding.

[ She nods, thumb brushing over Erik's knuckle before she breathes out softly. ]

That's what there attending the school for - and they'll be there when we get back.

[ Not necessarily 'we' being Erik, but... ]

Yes.

[That's all he says. He knows the 'we' isn't for him. As welcome as he is at the school, it belongs to Charles, Hank and Raven. Staying there was too hard, once he'd finished rebuilding. His presence was likely to be a danger to them. He had no purpose there. He has none anywhere, but at least when he's on his own, he isn't reminded of it quite so much.]

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